The Boys

So, you're-you're not a Fed?

Do you hear that? That's the old bill.

So unless you want to explain why you've got

America's favorite invisible wanker dead on the floor,

give us a fucking hand, will ya?

Aw, shit.

All right, listen, I have worked for the Feds.

I've worked for loads of people.

I'm what you might call an independent contractor.

You got a problem, you call me, I solve the problem.

What is that?

That's a problem.

Oh, thank fuck, he's alive.

Yes, yes, he's alive! Okay, pull over.

No, no, no, Hughie, you don't fucking get it.

-Pull the car over. -This is a fucksight worse.

He's seen our faces.

Oh, my God.

No, no, no, no, no. I can't do this.

I can't do this. Let me out.

-Let me out. Pull over! -Hughie,

you walk away now, and you will never get payback for Robin.

You'll spend the rest of your life

sitting on your ass with fucking regret.

Now, is that what you want?

I know a bloke. Top man.

He'll know what to do.

Morning, luv.

Frenchie about?

Mmm.

You'll love this guy.

Frenchie.

Oi, Frenchie.

Monsieur Charcuter.

Huh.

This is a surprise.

Good to see you.

Good to see you, too, mate.

Means you brought that 40,000 you owe me?

I mean, why else would you show your face around here?

Because I've got something even better for you.

How would you like to double your money?

The double of zero is zero.

Who is he?

This guy?

Oh, this here is Hughie Campbell.

We're, uh, working a little job together.

Ooh.

-And he's still alive? -(laughs)

You and I worked together, and you're still in one piece.

Am I?

Look, do you want to know what the fucking job is or not?

Open it.

Who is in there?

-Where's your sense of adventure, Frenchie? -(cattle prod crackles)

You dumb fucks are fucking dead!

Have you any... Aah!

-That's Translucent. -(trunk slams shut)

You got Translucent in your trunk, huh?

Nothing gets past you, mate.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

Go away. Get him out of here.

All right, all right, easy.

He's chipped.

The Supes could be on their way.

Homelander could be on his way right now.

Wait, he's chipped?

You bring this to my doorstep?

This is not my problem, huh?

Well, it is now. He knows what you look like.

Look, Frenchie, I need your help, mate,

and I ain't leaving till I get it,

or till The Seven show up.

Ah, here comes the A-Train!

My man, how you doing?

Look, I brought you something.

-Thanks? -Yeah.

I'm sorry, I asked for Translucent.

Right, but Translucent is on a secret,

undercover mission right now.

But you got the A-Train, baby.

But... my wish was to meet Translucent.

That was my only wish. He's my hero.

Yeah. Um... well, you know, maybe he can swing by

next week or some--

-something... -(monitor beeping steadily)

: Fuck.

Um... you know what?

Maybe I can't turn invisible,

but I am the world's fastest man.

Like, I can outrun anybody or anything.

That's-that's something, right?

Look, I'll tell you what, you get better,

and I'll teach you to run as fast as me.

-Yeah? -Yeah.

You'll teach me to outrun cancer?

Yeah.

Oh, my God, turn that off.

How many times do I have to tell you

that A-Train needs to be scripted?

-Right. -When he does not have a script,

-this is what happens. -I'm on it. I'm so sorry.

-It will not happen again. -All right.

And where is Translucent?

We know he's not in the building.

He hasn't triggered any of the motion sensors.

He's probably out on another one of his fucking benders.

Doesn't he have a team-up tomorrow night?

Yeah, with the Deep.

-Get a backup. -I'm on it.

-Okay, go. -(phone ringing)

Okay.

Hello?

Black Noir.

We haven't properly met yet. I'm Starlight.

Well--

I look forward to working with you.

There she is.

Hi. How you settling in?

Well, uh, it's an adjustment.

That's for sure.

-This is Trevor... -Hi.

...from Crime Analytics.

So, we have exciting news for you.

We are sending you on your first patrol.

-(gasps) -It's a team-up tomorrow night.

Oh, that's great.

That's great news. Thank you.

Hi. Big fan. There you go.

A crime itinerary? Yep.

Where and when to find the bad guys.

That's what my department does. We vet leads,

crunch satellite data, COMP-STAT.

Better intel than the police.

-Mm. -You know, thanks, but I'm good.

I-I like to do my own investigating.

And that is why we love you,

but it's not coming from us.

It's corporate. To protect you.

What if you nab the wrong person?

There's liability to consider.

The-the Deep is coming?

Yeah, it's a water-adjacent crime.

Then he should do it himself. He doesn't need me.

It was gonna be Deep and Translucent,

but everyone on 82 is so excited to get you out there.

Yeah, it's just, uh, you know, back in Des Moines,

I always patrolled alone.

And that is why we love you.

But we see at least a 23% uptick

in social media mentions and hero hashtags

when there's a team-up.

People love a team-up.

-Love a team-up. -Mm.

That stuff really blocks the chip's signal?

Yeah. It's just R.F. Shielding Foil.

You can get it at Fry's.

You in tech intelligence?

Uh, sales and installation.

Ah...

Oh, what the fuck?

Where am I?

Oi. Morning, sunshine.

-You know who I am? -Not sure.

I know so many invisible assholes.

You fucking amateurs!

-(electricity crackling) -(Translucent cries out)

Fuck!

What the fuck?!

Ooh, mind them bars, son.

You'll only bollocks yourself again.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Uh, okay, what do you guys want? Money?

We don't want your fucking money.

What do you think, Frenchie?

You just dropped the Moby fucking Dick

of problems on my plate.

That's what I think.

Okay?

He can re-order his carbon on his skin into metamaterial.

It's hard as diamonds.

It's nearly impossible to penetrate.

All right, how 'bout we suffocate him?

Some Dominicans already tried this,

way back in '07.

And what happened?

They're all fucking dead now.

That's what happened.

All right, then, fuck it, electrocution.