Cougar Town

Yeah, the light's better right there. Now kiss me.

Well, no, not like that.

You're not going off to war. Just a-a sweet, gentle peck.

Mm. Okay, wait. Wait.

I've, uh, I've never hated anything this much.

We gotta get their attention. Cough.

not in my face, dude. Turn your head and cough.

Ooh, Ellie and I play that game.

She wears a surgical mask and nothing else.

Andy, boundaries.

Have you told these guys you two are hooking up yet?

Great. Now you look.

come on.

I know this is huge, so let's hear it.

I thought you guys were already dating. Well, Smith, in a few minutes,

I'm giving out the "who invited you?" award,

And you oughta get your speech ready. Sorry, Jules, but you're not in a relationship yet.

It has to last at least nine days before I consider it real.

It's the same rule that I have

For hair extensions or foster parents. Your rules are--

Ah, sweetie. This is Jules' time.

But I have to let it out.

Whisper what you were gonna SA

Really?

Trav, me and Grayson-- thoughts? Feelings?

Whatever makes you happy.

Hey, new dad, you give me 20 bucks,

I'll never call you "new dad" again.

Winner.

Thank you. See you, mom.

I love you, new dad.

That feels right.

That is the longest, meanest thing I've ever heard. No, I'm not done yet.

Come on.

It'd be more romantic if you ran your fingers through my hair.

Yeah, it would be.

She's not going for it, buddy. I wonder why, dad.

What?

Today's special for us.

It is? It's our 7-month anniversary.

you screwed the pooch, trav-y.

Seven months is a big one.

Is it, dad? I don't know. I'm just talking.

Hey, is there any more of that fancy salami left? I just ate the last piece.

Oh, man. I wish I could be your mouth.

Dad, mnh-mnh, mnh-mnh, mnh-mnh.

Look, your house is great,

But do you ever think we could sleep over here?

No. When I'm in your bedroom,

I feel like balloons are gonna start falling from the ceiling,

Like I'm the "millionth customer." eee.

that's funny. I should rig that up.

No, you really shouldn't. Jules, in a relationship--

Oh, w-w-w-w-wait.

If you're gonna start pontificating

About relationships,

I'm gonna have to record this on my phone.

'cause I guarantee you,

This will come back to bite you on the ass.

I ain't scurred. Mm-hmm.

Jules, in a relationship,

Sometimes you have to do things you don't want to do.

It's part of being a couple.

that's a good one. Okay. (beep)

You know, I can't believe that no one cared that we're dating.

What?

Did you tell... Everyone?

Bobby.

Bobby!

Bobby.

Bob-by.

Bobby?

Dad.

Bobby!

Bobby!

Bobby!

What's up?

Nothing. Sometimes I just like to say your name out loud.

Me, too.

But I whisper it. Bobby.

We all just forgot to tell him. It's nobody's fault.

It feels like your fault. Let me have this, trav.

I let you have "girls dig guys with skinny arms."

That's private. This is gonna crush Bobby. He still carries a torch for you.

Plus, Grayson is his second best friend. Who's his first best?

I will fight you right here. Why does our baby keep saying "bobby"?

Bobby. Bobby.

Bobby. Bobby.

Who knows why babies do things?

Okay, so who do we think should tell him?

you. You, for sure.

I don't want to break his heart again.

Maybe Andy should tell him. You are his best friend.

that's right, bitch. Or Grayson. 'cause you're not only his friend,

But you're also the one doing filthy things to his ex.

Still here, just in case you were wondering.

What are you doing?

So skinny. They're like.

Yeah. Aw!

Okay, we know it's gotta be one of the three of us, so I think

There's only one thing that we can do to solve this.

Ultimate Penny can. This is how it works--

Ellie is gonna ask a question about Bobby.

You get it right, you move a step closer.

Last player left has to drop the bomb on Bobby.

Let's begin.

Grayson, what's been Bobby's favorite beach activity

Since he was 4?

I just met him, like, six months ago--

Incorrect. Jules?

He loves to feed the seagulls at the beach

Because it makes him feel like a bird God.

Wrong! He used to love to do that

Until he tried to share a hot dog with one,

And it ain't ate the whole t. Very selfish. Oh, that's right.

His new favorite beach activity is being buried in the sand

'cause he likes to imagine himself being just a head.

Correct. Ah, thank you.

This could be trouble for us.

A Cheeto shaped like Bruce Willis.

Francis bacon, because it sounds delicious.

Boz scaggs.

Uncircumcised.

J.C.

The Hispanic mechanic.

Tolstoy.

Penny can!

boom! Best friend out.

Damn it!

Oh, sweetie. I gotta go meet Kylie.

Can you believe all this attitude she's giving me

About forgetting a 7-month anniversary?

It depends. Has she ever let you see her completely naked?

For, like, eight seconds. We were changing to go swimming.

what up? Then just go take your lumps and move on.

Or I could tell her how ridiculous she's being.

Trav, I know that Kylie is a sweet, innocent little flower,

But if you go at her,

She will take off that sweet, little mask, and you will see...

Don't ever do that again.

Okay, I'm just gonna show you the mouth. Ready?

How did Bobby's Uncle Ricky lose his Ne?

Dynamite fishing.

Correct!

Yes!

The fact that I am still standing back here should prove

That I'm not the right person to tell Bobby about anything!

Whiny baby, say "what?"

What?

Game over, sucka!

Dagnabbit!

About what "star wars" character has Bobby always said,

"if you throw a skirt on one of those furry little things,

I would totally hit that"?

Ah, the hell with this.

Oh ho ho! Penny can!

No! I knew that one!

An ewok!

He wants to make love to an ewok!

Surprise.

Hey, I can't believe you're at my place.

How much snooping have you done?

Your hipster wool hat collection?

Really?

We're in Florida. Don't be that guy.

Sometimes they look cool. On planet douche-Alon.

Lovely. Okay, so how did your, uh, talk with Bobby go?

Oh, so great, except that it didn't happen.

You see, I was hoping that maybe tomorrow

We could do it together. No way in hell.

(Grayson) Jules , in a relationship,

Sometimes you have to do things you don't want to do.

It's part of being a couple. That's taken out of context.

yore so in.

Look at me. I'm Grayson.

What is she doing here?

Ellie used to be a deejay,

And, uh, she happened to give you a little remix here. (clicks button)

* Jules, sometimes, in a relationship... *

Jules, in-your-face dance. I don't know that one.

It's just the running man. Come on. â™? Being a couple, being a couple *?/i>

â™? being a--being a-- being a--being a-- *?/i>

Being a couple *? /i> okay, Grayson, we're not staying here.

Go get your p.J.S. We're going to my house. Stupid relationship.

* you have to do things you don't want to do *?/i>

â™? you don't want to do, Jules, Jules, Jules, Jules, Jules *?/i>

You have--you have-- you have to do things *?/i>

â™? you don't want to do, do, do, it's part of being a couple *?/i>

Here's your beer, buddy.

You know what really sucked about hanging out with Travis?

He was with Kylie,

And I could really sense that they didn't want me there.

You know, I have a radar for stuff like that. Do you now?

Yeah. You want a tug of my beer?

Why not? Put it in my hand.

bob-by.

No way! It worked.

What worked?

Andy?

You want a cappuccino?