The Big Bang Theory

English Subtitles. The Big Bang Theory S09E12 The Sales Call Sublimation

I'm glad to see you made it safely.

How's your hotel?

It's not the best Best Western I've been to,

but I'd say it's...

the third best Best Western I've been to.

I know how you feel.

The Best Buy by my house is only the third best Best Buy.

They have the best buys,

but having the best buys isn't the only thing

that makes a Best Buy the best Best Buy.

What makes a best Best Buy the best Best Buy?

Mm, that's a great question.

I like when they're next to a Chipotle.

Okay, well, I should unpack.

All right.

Enjoy the neurobiology conference.

I will.

I... wish you were here.

At a neurobiology conference?

What a mean thing to say.

Okay, I'm glad you're not here?

Aw, you always know just what to say

after I tell you what to say.

Good-bye, Sheldon.

Bye.

Oh! Good news, gentlemen.

Amy's at a conference this weekend,

which means I'm available to be entertained, hmm.

As today's youth might put it: Who wants to get their Sheld-on?

Bernie and I are getting the house ready for the remodel.

We could always use an extra pair of hands.

That sounds awful. Raj?

Uh, I've got time booked in the telescope room all weekend

scanning for rogue planets.

You're more than welcome to join me.

That's the one to beat. Leonard?

Oh, if anything, I'm trying to get my Sheld-off.

Well, then it looks like we have a winner. Congratulations.

Well, I should warn you, it's just looking at data

for hours and hours on a computer screen.

Uh, stop selling it, kid. You won.

== sync, corrected by elderman == @elder_man

Hey.

Hey. Hello. - Hi.

How was your day?

Oh, not good.

Still couldn't get in to see Dr. Gallo.

A doctor?

Well, I hope you're not contagious.

I've got a weekend in the telescope room

I've been excited about for almost three minutes.

I'm not sick. It's for work.

There's this doctor who refuses to see any sales reps.

I've been trying to get in for months.

Well, did you try wearing the shirt

I said was inappropriate for work?

Well, the doctor's a woman, but...

yes, because you never know.

What kind of doctor is she?

Um, a psychiatrist. Why?

Well, what if you make an appointment as a patient?

Then you'll get to talk to her.

Yeah, they already know I'm a pharmaceutical sales rep.

Oh. What if Leonard made an appointment

and tried to lay some groundwork for you?

That's interesting.

I'm not gonna make a fake appointment

with a psychiatrist.

What would I say is wrong with me?

Low self-esteem. Social anxiety.

Sexual insecurity.

None of that is true.

Uh, denial. See, sweetie, the list goes on and on.

That's just crazy.

How would my going in there even help you?

I don't know. You could talk to her, and maybe if it comes up,

you could ask if she's heard about the drug.

What if I get caught?

Fear of failure! Lack of confidence!

Kind of a wuss!

Fine, I'll do it.

But not because of them, because I love you.

Thank you.

Pushover. Spineless.

Still hasn't bought milk

even though I told him two days ago!

That was incredible.

It was.

I just wish Stuart wasn't around

so we didn't have to be so quiet.

I know.

It's not like he returns the favor

when he watches his Japanese porn cartoons.

You guys got a minute,

or are you still cuddling?

What is it, Stuart?

Can I come in?

Hang on.

Should I send him away?

No, it's okay.

Thanks, Bernie.

What's up?

Uh, well, I know

the remodel is coming up, so I thought I'd make it easy

on you guys and find my own place.

Wow.

I thought I was done getting lucky tonight.

So, when are you thinking of moving?

Uh, actually, I already found an apartment,

so in a couple of days.

Oh. Okay.

Sorry to see you go?

Okay, well, thank you guys for everything.

I-I really appreciate it.

You're very welcome.

Hmm.

What?

Hmm, I just have never been in this room while you're awake.

What are you doing?

Uh, making sure the telescope's camera is white-field balanced.

Hmm.

What are you doing now?

Still making sure the telescope's camera

is white-field balanced. Oh, I see.

How about now?

Now I'm making sure the telescope's camera

is white-field balanced and wishing you had a coloring book.

Well, I can be helpful.

Give me something to do.

You know, my father took me to work once,

and in ten minutes I figured out

who'd been stealing from the cash register.

It was my father.

Yeah, Dad lost his job,

but Mr. Hinckley gave me a Fudgsicle.

Fine, you want something to do?

There's about six months of data on this hard drive.

Why don't you go through it and see if you can spot

any patterns or anomalies.

Yep, I'm on it. Hey, look at that!

An Indian guy outsourcing a computer job to a white fella.

Yeah, okay, whatever it takes

to keep you busy for a few hours.

Found one.

No, you didn't.

There are millions of data points there.

But, look, an optical transient.

Yeah, maybe that is something.

How did you find that? It wasn't difficult.

You know how when you see prime numbers, they appear red,

but when they're twin primes,

they're pink and smell like gasoline?

No.

Oh. I guess I'm a special boy.

You know, sometimes when a boy is special,

he gets a Fudgsicle.

Which, by the way, tastes like the speed of light.

Thank you for seeing me on such short notice.

Ah, it's my pleasure.

I'm curious,

are you related to Dr. Beverly Hofstadter?

Uh, she's my mother. You know her?

No, not personally,

but I have read all of her books.

Well, then you know her better than I do.

Well, I'm not so sure about that.

But I can tell you I do not agree

with her theories on child rearing at all.

Really?

Any chance you find them cold, cruel and unsuitable

for innocent little boys who just want to be happy?

Well, I didn't want to say it...

No, no, say it. Sing it.

Rent a plane, write it in the sky.

Sounds like you're holding on

to quite a bit of anger towards her.

Oh, no, I-I've worked through

a lot of that stuff; I'm better now.

Mm. Good for you.

Do you know she never let me

celebrate my birthday because being born

was her achievement, not mine?

That's heartbreaking.

Right? To this day, I send her a card every year

with a little money in it.

You know, once we get the house back to ourselves,

we can be romantic in any room we want.

Great. I can finally show you where the laundry room is.

Boy, who would've thought

when you asked me to move in and help take care of your mom,

I'd still be here two years later?

Nobody thought that. No one.

Well, that's it.

I guess so.

This is weird.

Yeah. A grown man moving into his own apartment.

Crazy times. See ya!

Ignore him.

He's just using humor to express how...