No Hit Wonder

The summer pop sensation Daniel Novak, storming the charts with his "Time"...

12,000 kids and teens showed up last Friday to see Daniel Novak live.

... the latest rage is driving teens to the verge of nervous breakdowns.

A day before the concert and dozens of fans are already waiting

for the stars outside their hotel.

Next on the show, one-hit-wonder Daniel Novak.

Mr. Novak, let me ask you this,

does it bother you being famous for one song?

Let me ask you this, does it bother you

to always ask the same question.

I'm number one...

Make some noise for our new star at Beer Heaven in Majorca!

I can't hear you. Give me more!

DANIEL (49, SINGLE) ONE-HIT-WONDER

VOTE FOR DANIEL

Thanks. Thanks.

And don't forget, 70 percent off selected items today.

I WANT TO GO

Look this way and smile please.

Thanks.

Are you still with me?

Can you repeat that? I was just...

The title is Strategies for Joy:

A study based on cortisol markers

in the saliva of mildly to moderately depressed people.

I heard right then. It really is boring.

-I don't quite follow. -Can you pitch it better?

What's the pitch? Where's the story?

The emotions? Why should sponsors be excited about your study?

The thing itself is the pitch.

It's about applying our well-founded scientific knowledge

to make people mentally healthier, more resilient and happier.

Happier people are more socially minded, and more socially minded people

certainly wouldn't be a luxury in our lastingly messed-up world.

If we were a bit happier, humanity might not be so screwed.

If that won't excite people, what will?

I'm looking for public funds, not sponsors.

May I interrupt you for a moment?

Look around.

Do you see public funds lying around here?

I have to call and beg a holding company whenever we run out of ink.

We have other problems, staff shortages, mountains of paperwork, cancer.

What we don't have is public funds.

-So people's happiness can wait. -Ms. Waldstett.

State insurance doesn't cover happiness.

You have a space I have to fight that holding for every year.

I'd be overjoyed if you had a hit.

A hit.

I need an attention-getter, something juicy, and emotion.

A story. I feel like an ad agency.

-Hey Lissi! -Hey!

The light working downstairs?

Thanks. We'll call the janitor.

Good luck. Plenty of that down there.

So funny.

Like I don't prostitute myself enough.

Two PhDs, summa cum laude and changing bedpans to pay the rent.

-Hey! -Sorry, it's nothing personal.

-Thanks for the job. -You got it?

Thanks, Lars!

-Morning! -Morning.

-Have you heard? -What?

A celeb in 305.

Really?

He's awake.

-Do you know who he is? -No.

... time, time, time, time Time and again

-Crazy! -Oh my God!

-He's looking rough. -Rock'n'roll life, live hard die young.

Well, he might be 20 years too late to die young.

Hello!

So?

How are you?

I...

Who are you?

I'm Hazel Graminski, the doctor on duty.

This is Dr. Grömel-Waldstett.

-My... Our research associate. -Hello!

So what...

happened to my head?

You fell over your balcony railing.

You have a concussion and a torn ligament.

-That's it? -No.

The file says you shot yourself through the cheek.

Small hole, two stitches, that's it.

What led to that?

Do you have a newspaper?

I don't have one here at the moment,

but we'd be glad to have a look around for you.

But why don't you tell us a bit about it.

-Okay. -Okay.

When can I leave?

-Do you know where you are, Mr. Novak? -Where?

-The crisis unit. -The crisis is over now.

The crisis unit of the secure psychiatric ward

at Munich University Hospital.

Secure?

Closed.

-Ergotherapy? -Nope, won't do it.

So he's not talking, no art, no movement?

What other therapies have we offered?

-That's all we have. -And he won't talk?

I think his last word was five days ago.

What was that?

"My life, my business."

The judge won't release him then. Well, I'm at a loss too.

Keep at it, eventually he'll respond.

-Next? -Excuse me?

May I try?

Here, in case lemon tea granules alone are too dry for you.

-That's your icebreaker? -A little joke.

To get us rolling so we can get to the issue at hand.

Lemon tea granules?

What kind of reviews did your exit get?

-Sorry. -No, no. That was a good one.

-Well? -There were none.

Nada. Not even a side note.

I have a small trial group over there.

Maybe you'd like to join in?

You started off so well. Now you want to get me talking too.

Honestly, I'd rather people keep quiet.

I'm a scientist, not a therapist.

I just thought you might want to leave the ward.

The group's in the outpatient hospital.

You could see the yard.

Right, it was a dumb idea. I've got to go.

I've got to... check my urine samples.

They're getting cold.

-I'd like a cigarette. -Sorry, not allowed.

Are you afraid I'll jump up and run off?

It'd be fun to watch you run with a torn ligament.

You haven't told me what you do in the group?

We sing.

We see if singing makes sad people happier.

On a tree a cuckoo

On a tree a cuckoo...

sat

A young hunter came by

A young huntsman came by

He shot the poor cuckoo

He shot the poor cuckoo...

dead

The call is on hold. Please wait a moment.

-The call is on hold. -Hello?

-Hello, are you still there? -Yes.

You're right. There was no report.

Yes, but that's strange, right?

Yes, I think so too.

Maybe it... got lost in the shuffle.

Who exactly am I speaking to?

As I said a...

a source close to him.

-Hey, Daniel, is it you? -Hallo?

I've got your number saved from my time at Bild newspaper.

Hello?

-One more thing... -I'll stick this kid's fork in my eye.

I've got a proposal for you.

Help me make those people happy and I'll help you get out of here.

You can't do that. You're not a doctor.

-Wha... -Well, here's the thing...

if an employee says you're opening up, cooperating,

they'll start thinking you're not a threat to yourself

and you can leave after a suitable period of time.

All you need is for someone to put in a good word for you.

-A suitable period? -I have no say in that.

It depends on your commitment.

-Yeah. -But faster.

Much, much faster.

You're not trying to treat me?

May I be honest with you?

Yes.

I couldn't care less about you. I want my study to work and need bait.

You help me, I help you. What you do then is your business.

You're really shrewd.

-Probably more than you think. -Suits you better than concerned.

-That mean I can count you in? -No.

Out.

Okay.

-Daniel? Hello? -Hello.

Hey there. Listen, I did some research.

How horrible. The editorial team sends their best.

-Are you doing better? -Tip-top.

-There are great people to pick you up. -How nice. Great.

Listen, I've got a sensation for both of us.

Someone cancelled and they're giving me next week's Sunday interview.

-What? -Right, here it is.

A two-page feature about your life.

An honest in-depth talk about the ups and downs.

No tabloid bull, arts.

-Really? -The question is how you're doing.

-Maybe this is all going a bit fast. -No. It's...

Where are you?

-At home. -Then we can meet there, right?

-Yes, anytime. -Fab.

I'll talk to the photographer and be in touch, okay?

Great. Till then.

So, Daniel Novak, how's he doing?

No way he can leave.

It's just not safe.

The whole six weeks, minimum.