Preacher

herr starr:

Shit.

Ow!

This one's for you, Charlie.

Oh, crap!

time is running out!

It won't be long now!

Y'all can try to ignore it.

But it's gonna be hard to ignore when your face is on fire!

It's all about to be over. Over!

Over!

Look for the signs, you sorry sonsabitches.

'Cause shit is about to get real!

No god.

No men in white suits. No nothin'.

Maybe I was wrong about this place.

Maybe it was a bad idea.

No. New Orleans is never a bad idea, all right.

Look, there's more to the city

than bloody jazz and almost getting killed.

I think we should just take a break, have some fun. Yeah?

I know denis knows what I'm talking about, isn't that right, denis?

What do you think?

Me? I-I'm up for whatever.

I know just the place.

crowd: Ten, nine, eight...

Seven, six, five, four...

Three, two, boom.

Yeah!

Tulip: Hold up. Hold up. Excuse me. Excuse me.

All's you got to do... Is get shot and stand up?!

Heck, my boyfriend will do that!

What? Wh-- uh, no. I-I'm not sure I want to do that.

Oh, come on!

It's like a what? Like a bee sting, right?

Yeah. Like a bee sting.

Jesse: Excuse me. Hold on now. Hold on.

What do you think the good lord would say about this?

I think he'd say, "go back to your choir boys

and mind your own business, preacher."

Listen to your hearts, men.

Ask yourselves,

"is this really the right thing to do?"

Oh, I'm sorry.

I didn't realize this was ladies' night!

Now, I got a bunch of money.

You got a bunch of guns.

So why don't y'all stop being a bunch of bitches

and shoot my boyfriend.

What's your pleasure?

Ooh.

Um...

The big ones pay more, right?

Okay.

So, in that case...

Why not choose the biggest one?

The biggest?

If you have such a love for money

and so little love for life,

why not pick the biggest one they got?

Or maybe it's ladies' night, after all.

I think one of the smaller...

All right. Biggest one it is.

You got it.

oh, dear god.

you got this. Okay?

Remember, just hold your breath.

And I love you.

I love you, too.

Uh...

All right, gentle--

Sweetie?

Sweetie? Honey?

He's gone.

What?

No-o-o-o-o-o!

Someone call the police.

You're all witnesses.

I call upon your Christian sense of decency

to stand up and give your account.

here.

You okay?

Are you kidding me?

Open bar.

Reporter: In new footage from the nghe an province of Vietnam,

we're witnessing what some are referring to as a miracle

and what others are dismissing as a simple hoax.

home.

I am having fun.

Yeah. That kiss with cass looked pretty fun.

Very convincing.

Yeah.

Come on. You'll sleep tonight.

I don't want to sleep, Jesse.

How many times do I have to tell you?

What is your problem?

Ever since the Saint --

what's your problem, huh?

Let's go.

Let's just go yourself.

You can't just... You can't just...

...repeat everything... ...Repeat everything...

...i say. ...I say.

That's not a comeback.

He's gone, right?

you sent him back to hell?

he's gone.

come on.

Let's go home.

whoa, whoa, whoa. Where are you going?

The night's still young!

We haven't even drank the armagnac yet!

Bollocks.

Sorry about that, Dennis. Go on. You were saying...

yeah. I'm happy, too.

All right?

Excuse me. I couldn't help overhearing.

This man has been trying to tell you that he's very unhappy.

Yeah? And what the hell would you know about it?

I'm a French professor from tulane.

Oh, right.

Would you, uh -- would you mind, professor?

Well, he -- and my condolences --

says that he is dying.

What?

Congestive, uh, heart disease.

He's been telling you that...

You've been an awful, uh, selfish, absent father.

Uh, he keeps repeating

that there's something you can do, though,

that would make it all up to him.

Yeah? W-what is it? I-I'll do anything.

He says that he wants to live forever.

and he thinks that you can help him do that.

What?!

No. No. No!

No. Absolutely -- absolutely not.

Do you hear me?

No.

he said then, um, he will die hating you.

Yeah. Most people do.

Meanwhile, media specialists speculate

that this may be simply a viral marketing ploy,

publicizing an as-yet-unrevealed film

or perhaps a weight-loss drug.

Yes, it's serious.

They're praying to a pig.

This will require resources.

Prep the invalid scientist.

Mm!

Mnh. No, no.

I expect we'll need an extra 30 operatives,

all fully equipped with, uh...

second thought, never mind.

I have the situation under control.

you missed a spot.

I-i-i-I'm so sorry.

Don't worry, little boy.

I was young and careless...

Once.

Klaus Helmut starr.

Born -- Hamburg, Germany.

Only child of parents killed in a plane crash.

Orphaned at age 4.

Currently lieutenant-colonel of

Germany's gsg 9 elite anti-terrorism unit,

where your exploits were...

Numerous.

How was your flight?

I hope you found the hotel accommodating.

I was told there'd be women.

Women?

A high-end brothel staffed entirely by Ukrainian runaways.

There will be women...In time, if that's your desire.

But it's my impression, herr starr,

that what you really want is...

"To sweep the streets clean

of the parasites that befoul our society

and create a civilization based on the principles

of absolute order and uncompromising discipline."

Your words, I believe.

What if I told you

that our organization feels exactly the same way you do?

Like a 10-inch dick,

I'd need to see it to believe it.

And maybe you shall.

Tell me...

...are you Christian, herr starr?

Does it make a difference?

This is just the first step

in our organization's rigorous screening process.

Only the most deserving -- and, yes, pious --

candidates will be considered.

then I am very much...

A Christian.

He's one of mine.

Shit. Shit!

Shit. Shit.

time's up.

man: "Hear me! And tremble