The Man from Earth

Hey, buddy.

You don't waste time, do you?

I try not to.

Well, you need help?

Sure.

Would you like to tell us

what the hell that was all about?

I don't like good-byes.

Kind of the point of a good-bye party, John.

Went to a certain amount of trouble, you know?

Could've at least stayed a few minutes, huh?

Eaten some of the food we so feverishly prepared?

I apologize, Harry.

But why are you moving so quickly?

You only resigned a couple of days ago.

You got the history chair at Stanford.

I wish.

Well, taquitos, chicken wings,

Roastie-Toasties and beer.

If we'd had more time,

we'd have done something a little more grandiose.

Candlelight dinner at McDonald's.

Strippers.

Taquitos are fine.

A'right.

Art's gonna be along, too.

He's, uh, talking to a student. Pfft.

Is George taking over for you?

- George or Trimbell. - Has the dean made up his mind?

He hasn't called.

My god!

Wh-What is this?

It looks like a Van Gogh,

But I've never seen it before.

Is that an original, John?

No, it's just a gift someone gave me.

Still, it's a superb copy.

Contemporaneous, I think,

May I take a closer look?

Please, yeah.

Yeah, it's the same stretcher as Van Gogh used.

Yeah, there's writing on the back in French.

Oh, "to my friend Jacques Borne."

Wonder who that was?

Someone he knew, I guess.

Brilliant deduction, sherlock.

Surely you'll have this looked at, appraised?

Well, maybe sometime,

but I wouldn't really want money for it.

That does it.

Put that stuff in the kitchen.

No, I'm gonna put it in the bathroom, John.

Gas is off, electricity's on.

Get comfortable while you can.

The furniture's going this afternoon.

It's been years since I sat on a floor.

Heh. I can't remember her name.

Eh, it's good for the back.

Can we do yoga exercises?

Tantric yoga, we can.

So you're leaving good old "we teach you."

Rather suddenly, you must admit.

Truth time, John.

Is there a problem?

No.

Oh, come on, you know we wanna help.

That's appreciated, but really -

There's no problem.

Well, now I am curious.

Where are you going?

Givin' up tenure...

A decade of professorship,

in line to chair the department,

and you don't know where you're going?

Call it cabin fever.

After a while, I get itchy feet.

I've done this before.

No, no, no, you're too young to have done this before.

And he hasn't aged a day in ten years.

Every woman on the faculty

would give anything to have that secret.

Is that what they're after, Edith?

Oh, stop, Harry.

Wow, can you pull this?

What the hell?

What do you hunt?

Deer, mostly.

Around big bear.

With a bow and arrow?

Most people can't bag a deer

with a rifle and a telescopic sight.

Though, good eatin'.

The best wild game.

Lives naturally, eats naturally.

Well, it's beautiful.

Art.

Ah.

So, can I get an "a" for awesome?

Oh, my gosh.

That was fun.

Hey, John.

You know Linda. You had her last semester.

Hi. Hey.

She's one of my victims now. I'm taking her home.

She wanted to come by and say hello good-bye.

Is Art as tough as I hear?

Oh, archaeology's tough.

Dr. Jenkins is a fine teacher.

Oh, that's very politic.

It's very true. Uh-huh.

Something for you to read on the road, pal.

"Shadows of the cave: parallels to early man."

M. Jenkins.

Publish or perish.

I'd rather read

than write another one.

Thank you.

Hi.

Oh, everybody, this is Linda.

Linda, this is everybody.

Linda. Hi.

So.

Where you going, John, like we give a damn?

We've already covered that.

John's got itchy feet.

There are over-the-counter remedies for that, John.

So there is a problem.

No.

I just like to move on now and then.

It's a personal thing.

Well, not to pry.

I'm sorry I don't have more to offer you.

Got conversation, some seats for your behinds,

And, uh...

Is he ducking out on us again?

...I do have this.

Oh ho ho! Johnny Walker green!

Didn't even know they made it in green.

What do they pay you?

Nothing is too good for my friends.

But I'm sorry - we are down to plastic cups now.

That's a sacrilege I'll tolerate.

I will do the honors.

Oh, come to papa.

Ooh! Here, cups, cups.

There we go.

Step on in here.

There ya go...

One for the birthday boy - Excuse me. Art?

No, not for me.

Oh, no, I don't drink.

We're not gonna card you, darling.

All right, here, join the circle at least.

Well, to long life and good fortune

To our esteemed friend

and colleague, John Oldman.

May he find undeserved bliss

wherever he goes.

Hear, hear.

Skol. Na zdorovye.

One off the top, John.

Mm! Oh, that's good.

Excuse me.

John, we're all sorry to see you go.

Truly.

Okay. Now we're done with that,

what do we do for the rest of the afternoon?

Anyone got a good topic?

Like this, maybe? Heh.

What is that?

It's a burin off a parrot beak.

Inclined chisel point...

Probably early Magdalenian.

May I see that? Sure.

Yes indeed, that's what it is.

What's a burin?

A burin is a flint tool

for grooving wood and bone, antlers especially,

to make spear and harpoon points.

Magdalenians weren't noted for flint work,

so this is a very nice specimen.

Okay, what's a Magdalenian?

A later Cro-Magnon,

without gettin' technical.

It's the final culture of the upper Paleolithic.

If stones could speak, eh, Art?

So where'd you get that, John?

Believe it or not, from a thrift shop. A quarter.

You lucky dog!

I gotta go digging for this kind of stuff.

Can I, uh...?

Yeah.

Huh.

Maybe...

I'm glad you did this.

Did what? You mean come over?

Maybe?

Definitely.

Gee, thanks.

Well, so are we.