One Moment

- Hi, Dad. - Hey, Professor Minogue!

You need to fix my watch.

Three jewelers said the same thing.

It's time for a new watch.

I'm bringing it to Gustave's.

Do not drive that car.

We have a deal. Right, Dad?

A lousy deal!

Did you bring it to Gustave?

He retired 10 years ago.

Well, track him down!

He died four years ago.

Jeez! Good-bye.

Professor, guess what? We already have 322 students

signed up for the voter registration drive.

And it's only the second week.

That's fantastic.

I'd hate to be a pest, Professor,

but did you get a chance to write my recommendation letter?

I'm sorry. This weekend, I promise.

No problem. Have a great weekend!

Bye, Professor! Bye, ladies.

Just give me one moment.

Come in.

Your dad called three times.

His watch?

"Black stool"?

He's not talking about furniture.

I'm so sorry.

No problem.

My mom has that.

Too much prune juice.

Headphones, please.

What?

Ryan, your writing lacks...

clarity.

"Martin Luther King Jr. Was consummated in Georgia

and was related to a plethora of kin."

What does that mean?

You got me.

Are you trying to say that Martin Luther King

was born in Georgia to a big family?

Probably.

You probably need to lay off the thesaurus.

But you said it's plagiarism

if I don't change the Wikipedia words.

No.

No, that's not... That's not what I said.

You know what?

Ryan, we're only two weeks into the semester.

I think with just a little bit of effort,

you'll do okay.

Nothing personal, but, like, your class is so boring.

All you talk about is history.

It's a history class.

Yeah, that's cool.

See you next week.

Hello?

I'm calling the doctor. My stool...

You know what? I will call him, but I am at work.

I'll be right with you. Well, tell him it...

Oh, here.

That is a beautiful thing.

Hey, how's my favorite professor doing today?

You know what? Save that. Where's your essay?

Family issues. It's my...

grandma.

Last semester, you said that your grandparents died.

All five of them.

Right. That was tragic.

Actually, it was my grandmother's sister.

She's critically ill.

You have until Monday. That's it.

You are way too nice.

That excuse alone deserves an F.

One promotion application, ready for submission.

Don't tell me you're not applying.

Must be nice not to need the money.

Ha-ha.

I know it's none of my business, but...

I'll never get it.

I haven't published, I haven't presented.

I don't need that rejection adding to my sense of failure.

Well, do you think they'll have food at the department meeting?

We have a meeting?

Caroline Minogue speaking.

Dad, I have a meeting.

Okay.

Okay. I'm leaving right now.

I'll tell the chair that your grandmother's cat

is critically ill.

Good idea.

Hey, baby girl.

Dad can't pick me up.

He has a date.

C-Call Aunt Fran.

I'm bringing Grandpa to the doctor.

Ellie, did you hear me?

Yes, I heard you.

Bye.

I love... you.

We are not

able to come to the phone, so please leave a message.

Dad? I'm just a few blocks away,

so make sure you use the bathroom, okay?

Please, God, no.

What are you doing in the middle of the street?

What are you doing?

I have a doctor's appointment.

Turn around and meet me at the house.

Don't be so upset.

Caroline!

My watch!

Dad, go home! Go home!

Go home, Dad! Please!

Please, just go home!

Go home! I'll meet you at home!

No, you go first.

I'll help you, Dad.

What... What is that?

Ugh. Okay, come on.

All right, just wait... Wait here while I park, okay?

D-Don't... Don't move.

Don't move.

Can I help you?

I'm looking for Joseph McGuinness.

He should be here in a few minutes.

You're welcome to wait for him.

Y-Yeah. Okay, thanks.

Dad?

Dad!

Yes?

Nice meeting you, Joe! Oh, same here, Marie!

Come on, we're late.

Is that a prescription he gave you?

No, it was a referral for a colonoscopy.

Ohh.

Do you want to walk, or you want me to go get the car?

I'm a little tired.

Okay.

Oh, damn it!

I left my glasses in the office.

Okay, okay. I'll get them.

I'll get them. Just... Just stand over here.

Okay?

Okay, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, all right. I'm right here.

Don't move. Yeah, I won't move.

I'm waiting here. Yeah.

You got into a stranger's car?

It looked just like yours.

And it was no stranger. It's Marie.

Who's Marie? From the ladies' room!

You don't know her. That's dangerous!

Oh, tell me about it.

You're a terrible driver, Marie!

Come on, let's go. We got to get home.

- I got to make dinner! - Okay.

- Where are we going? - Home!

- Oh. Yeah, but where? - In this car. This is my car.

I see.

Ohh.

Hi, Franny. How's my girl? Hi, Ellie.

- Hungry! Hi, Dad. - Hey, Grandpa.

Hi.

Hey.

Thanks for picking Ellie up.

- What's for dinner? - Ugh! I never got to the store.

Well, that's good, 'cause your cooking stinks,

and it's '70s karaoke at the Blue Goose!

What do you say, Dad?

Do you want to do a little Tony Orlando and Dawn?

Except you be Dawn 'cause I want to be Tony.

I love their wings, but please no singing.

Hey.

How did it go?

One of us has to take Dad for a colonoscopy.

Yeah.

I remember when our together time was

the Girl Scout Father-Daughter Dance.

Oh. I have to get to the store.

Maddie and David are coming,

and then Rick is coming for a few days.

With Mrs. Einstein?

It'll be a "plethora of kin."

That means I have to sleep with you.

I bet you get that a lot.

My burger was overcooked.

You say that every time.

Quit ordering it well done.

Phones don't belong at the table, young lady.

We got to quit eating out.

Ugh. All my pants are getting really tight.

Marie Osmond, uh, lost 50 pounds with...

Oh, here we go.

Please don't tell me you ordered more of that food.

No.

She also improved her health, and she has more energy,

and she makes

great frozen waffles.