Wish Upon a Star

Alex!

Alexia Wheaton! Let’s get a move on!

Man, oh, man.

Chill, you vagrant! I’m coming!

Ben, Nan, later.

We can’t let her go out in public like that, Ben.

Alex! Stop!

-Whoa! - Hey!

What's wrong with you? Besides the obvious.

We're gonna be late again.

Oh, pop a Midol.

Who said anything about being late?

I’ve had it, Ben.

I am going to clean out her closet,

and from now on, it's cardigan sweaters

and monogrammed blouses, and I don't think

That it's healthy that she call me "Nan."

It shows a total disregard for our family hierarchy.

Nan, Nan, listen, have you noticed

that when you insist that Alex calls you "mom,"

the greater pleasure she gets from calling you Nan?

-Mm-hmm. -And when we object to her provocative clothing,

she just finds something more provocative

-To wear the next day. -Mmm.

And when we encourage the girls to get along,

The more out of hand their sibling rivalry gets.

I mean, what have our patients been telling us

-all these years? -

That their parents have ruined their lives.

Exactly, now, I think the only way

these girls are gonna get along, show us some respect,

and bring harmony to this household

is for you and I to stop interfering.

-Uh-huh -There’ll be no reason for them

to rebel against our rules and demands because...

There won't-- there won't be any.

Mm-hmm.

[pop music continues, school bell rings]

-Morning, Hayley. -Hi.

Oh, excellent shirt, Aly. Wow.

[students whispering and giggling]

That's three days in a row, Hayley.

If it happens again, I'm going to start

deducting from your grade.

It won't.

All right, now, tomorrow'’s quiz will require

slide identification of the following constellations.

Canis Majorus, Leo, Taurus--

Hey, that rhymes.

Cool shorts, guys.

Doctor's orders.

He said I had to sit out again.

- -Uh-huh.

What do you think they’re talking about right now?

Etruscan art.

How should I know?

It’s your sister.

Sabrina, is that... stubble? Ew.

I swear, I shaved this morning. I must have just missed a spot.

So, Alex, what’s the limit on the festival again?

No limit.

-Hello, beautiful. -Hello.

How you doing?

All right, test scores are in. Time to face the music.

Mr. Gerard.

You need to make that up with me.

Very nice.

Barely adequate.

Eesh. Alexia.

But Hayley here, very nice.

It’s nice to see someone coming out smelling like a rose.

Lose the gum, if you would.

So any questions about...

grades, homework, life in general?

-Mr. Watson? -Yes, Alexia?

Can I go to the ladies’ room please?

What difference does it make?

Oh, I think it's so admirable

that you attended the police academy.

You see, it’s always been a dream of mine

to go into law enforcement, but my parents,

whom, by the way, think you're a wonderful administrator,

want me to get a degree first, like you.

I never knew anyone looked to me as a role model.

Oh, since the ninth grade.

But in order for me to follow in your path,

I have to start by getting into Felder first.

And, well, I was thinking that you,

being a distinguished principal and all,

might like to write a recommendation for me.

And what might the recommendation say?

"Dear admissions committee,

though Alexia Wheaton is in the bottom half

of her class...

she... dresses well.

Oh! So you’ll consider it.

Where's the dirt?

She hasn't written in two weeks. Think she’s on to us?

Hayley?

Okay.

Do you... think they...

do it?

Well, I don’t have any documented evidence,

but...

Man, they are so in love.

We better evacuate.

There you are, Kyle.

Thanks, Mrs. Wheaton.

And do you have enough salad there, Caitlin?

Yes, thanks.

You’ve got to be kidding.

We have guests.

-I don't mind. -I don't mind.

You’re part of her experiment.

Now, I made the fuel from an apple you threw away.

It was mealy.

What?

Kyle, would you mind serving me? My nails are still wet.

Sure.

-Oh. Small portions, please. -Sorry.

Well, everyone, I found it.

Found what?

The most outrageous dress for winter festival.

-How low is it cut? -And how much?

It’s 200 and something.

298.

As in over $300 with tax?

For a dress?

Alex, your limit was 200.

Oh, I know, but what’s an extra hundred

over the course of a lifetime?

Daddy, my children will see me in these photos,

and I want them to think I look nice.

But there must be another nice dress

-for a more reasonable price. -

But this one sounds so very... special.

So, here. Here's the credit card.

Wear it in good health.

Why don’t you take Hayley with you

so that she can pick out a dress for the winter festival, too?

That's a great idea. Can I come?

Wait. We're sisters.

We’re not friends, and we don’t shop together.

-Alex, that's terrible. -Honey.

I-I’m not going anyway.

But, muffin!

This is your first winter festival.

And it will be such fun.

And don’t you wanna be there to see

if your sister gets crowned...

queen?

You probably know what you want to do.

Stay at home. Watch the Discovery Channel.

Amen.

Oh, go ahead.

Oh, no, no, no, i-it's yours.

Well, here. We'll share it. There you go.

Canis Majorus...

Leo.

Arcturus, where are you?

There you are. Okay.

I wish I were Alexia Wheaton.

Man, oh, man. It worked!

What-- what worked?

-I-I, uh-- -You did this?

I-I made a wish when I-- when I saw a shooting star.