Royal Pains

Previously on Royal Pains...

Evan and I have reached an impasse.

We've decided to suspend our partnership.

I'm gonna keep Hankmed running

with the help of my new doctor.

I memorized the patients' social security numbers.

She's been offered a gig... eight weeks in Stratford.

- That's amazing! - Oh, no, no, no.

It's not Stratford, Connecticut. It's Stratford-Upon-Avon.

Don't you think that maybe one of you should consult me

about what I want?

Of course we should. Of course we should. Sorry.

I've decided that I am going to work...

For both of you.

- That's not a choice. - That's not a choice.

My job fell through.

They gave my position to someone else.

Hank, I am so screwed.

Hey. I am outside your house.

I just heard what happened about your job.

I bought cappuccinos if you want to talk.

- No, no, that's great news. - And there you are.

Yes. Okay. Thank you.

That was the foundation president,

and he did give my job away.

And this is making you happy because?

Because he offered me a bigger and better job.

Divya, my dream job just got dreamier.

Oh, yes!

I'm gonna be traveling the world developing outreach programs.

At first I'll be in Botswana, then after that South America,

and then after that, who knows?

- But I'm going global! - Oh!

Congratulations. So when do you leave?

Tomorrow.

Tomorrow?

Yeah.

Well, forget the cappuccinos.

We are having celebratory champagne.

It is cocktail hour... somewhere.

All right. I'll get my purse.

Hey! Favor.

Can you not tell Hank about your job?

Oh. So you decided to work with him.

No.

Okay. Uh, well,

if you're gonna work with Evan, I...

No. I'm not just working with Evan.

If I choose one, I'll alienate the other one.

But if I stay on the inside with both guys,

then maybe I can fix what's wrong between them.

And how are you going to do that?

I'm gonna sabotage them.

But drinks first.

Okay.

My God...

When did you get back?

Late last night.

- Why didn't you wake me up? - I did.

Whoa. I thought that was just a really good dream.

Like a really, really good dream.

Didn't you say you weren't getting a weekend off

for another two weeks?

Yeah, but...

things kind of changed, and...

That's great.

And I wanna hear all about it.

But first...

Order waterproof brochures to hand out at beach clubs.

Sorry. If I don't record my ideas right away...

I've been losing them

'cause I've been getting a lot of ideas.

Yeah, I see that.

Why is your office in your bedroom?

Oh, 'cause it's my bunker.

It's where I keep all my ideas

that are for my eyes only, you know?

But the only other eyes around here are Hank's.

Yeah. Exactly.

I thought your split was amicable.

You said you guys are happier and better off.

Yeah, we are. Absolutely.

But he's still the competition,

so...

Let me just deal with this one text,

then I wanna hear all about England.

I had the same idea.

Once I heard Uruguay fell through,

I considered offering her a permanent job.

Oh, I would do more than consider.

I would jump at the opportunity.

This could be the answer to all of your trouble.

I didn't realize I was in trouble.

Oh, come on. Of course you did.

I mean, you're low on money,

and you know how hopeless you are with all the business stuff.

And there is so much of it.

Right. Well, I figured I could handle...

Hank, you're starting over again.

I mean, with Jill you would have a planner,

a number cruncher,

and a killer PR rep all in one.

It's perfect!

I really do need help,

and she's the perfect person to...

You should call Jill right away.

- This could save your business. - You don't think it's too soon?

What? And let Evan scoop her up?

Hey, Jill, hi. I wanted to talk to you about

giving me some badly needed help.

Really? Africa?

T... tomorrow?

Wow. Uh, well, that's... that's... great.

Me? No, no. Don't worry.

I'll be fine. I'm in trouble.

Royal Pains 4x03 - A Guesthouse Divided Original air date June 20, 2012

Okay, so nausea, cramping,

anything else?

Abdominal distress.

What's with the new phone number?

You being sued?

If there's something wrong with you as a doctor,

- I need to know. - I... I'm not being sued, okay?

Evan and I have just decided

to go our separate medical business ways.

Oh, I totally get it. I had to fire my brother once.

- That's not easy. - I didn't fire Evan.

Yeah, that's what I said in the beginning too.

- But business is business. - I wanna check your abdomen.

- Hey, now. - Yeah, I know.

Weren't you one of the hairy guys growing up?

Yeah. Is that even relevant

when you got a patient at death's door?

You're not at death's door, okay?

You're not even in death's zip code.

- Are you on any new medications? - No.

- Just prednisone. - That's not a "just."

How long have you been taking it?

I don't know, off an on, like a few months.

I had a little rash.

A rash. From what?

Fine. It's from manscaping. I get waxed.

Is that okay?

I'm sorry. Was I supposed to answer that?

It's for the ladies, Hank.

Clean and smooth like a sexy porpoise.

- Get with the times, Hank. - Yeah.

I'm gonna take some blood. Long-term prednisone use

can compromise your immune system...

hang on. Hold that thought.

Sexy porpoise?

Divya Katdare, meet Dr. Jeremiah Sacani.

Oh, you're the P.A. You're from the U.K.

I read your C.V.

Your face is unusually symmetrical.

Thank you?

Okay.

Uh, so...Hankmed 2.0 staff meeting begins.

Are there assigned seats?

Anywhere is fine.

- Except for there. - Oh.

I'm just kidding. That's... hazing the new guy.

But seriously, is it okay if I sit here?

So Jeremiah,

since this is your first day seeing patients,

I prepared an excellent introductory day for you.

Three retainer clients. Should be a piece of cake.

Plus I'll be with you the whole time, so...

Did you bring those patient cards I prepared?

- Yes. Right here. - Wonderful.

Uh, will I get these for all the patients?

Of course. Yeah.

Prepare patient cards for everyone.

Evan.

Did you not get my text about the retainer meeting?

- The what? - I got a call this morning

from Sidney Bartlett's office at The Blackstone?

The Blackstone?

I've been trying to get in there forever.

I know. They had a cancellation this morning

at 10:00 A. M... It is the last available half hour

- for the next two months. - What?

How am I supposed to meet Bartlett and go with Jeremiah?

I can go with him.

You said yourself it was a piece of cake.

This isn't on the schedule, and I don't have a patient card.

Dr. Sacani, sometimes emergencies happen.

The spa owner called, and here we are.

That is the thrill of concierge medicine.

Every day, something unexpected happens.

- Every day? - You'll be fine.

...ish.

Hey, you.

Hey. Thanks for coming.

Yeah, of course.

So, um... where's the clinic patient?

What, no small talk?

Is that what you lured me here for?

Maybe. I can be sneaky like that.

Yes, you can.