Close Enough

- -Shh! Shut up.

Aaah! Ugh!

Oh! Hohohohohohoho.

Dudes, come on!

Oho, these guys.

Whoa! Aah!

Ah! Dude, is this milk?!

- -Oh, wh-- Oh!

Oho! Wipeout!

Ah! Dude, is this milk?!

We got you good, man.

That was so epic.

I used to be the prank master in high school.

I want in on the action.

Uh, no disrespect, Josh, but I don't think that's a good idea.

Why?

I mean, we love you, dude, but pranks are kind of...

a young thing.

And you're kind of... an old thing.

Yeah, man.

You're so old, if you said racist stuff,

we'd kind of just let it slide.

What? I'm not old.

Would an old person do this?

Aw! I thought it was over you guys.

Old as "F."

Ow! Ugh!

-Huh huh huh! -There you go!

-Huh huh! -Good!

Why are we doing this?

Well, sweetie, some of us have to learn

how to defend ourselves

because some of us ditch each other

in dangerous situations.

What? I did not ditch you.

I'm gonna catch ya. I'm gonna catch ya!

Bridgette?

Have you guys seen a Poliwrath around here?

No one plays that game anymore!

Hello, ladies!

Glad you're all here 'cause I have a big announcement.

"Prank-mas came early.

You're invited to a prank war.

Pranks for playing"?

Ugh, he spent way too long in the car

coming up with those puns.

What's this? It's a prank war!

We're all gonna do pranks on each other. It'll be fun!

Isn't there some other way for you

to desperately cling to your lost youth?

Ugh! I don't cling to my lost youth!

Mornin', Mr. Singleton!

Special delivery of those

Crossfire refill pellets you ordered.

Yeah! Yeah!

Josh, I occasionally love

that you feel like you're in high school,

but we've grown out of doing pranks.

You never grow out of doing fun things.

Prank war is on!

So I'll just, uh, leave these by the door then, or...?

-Whoa, whoa! Oh! -Wow.

Gotcha!

Whoa, whoa!

Aah! Ugh!

Prank war!

Somebody get these MF'ing snakes off this MF'ing stage!

No? Nobody saw that movie?

Ugh!

-Feeling young yet? -No.

Do you mind watching Candice

till Emily and Bridgette come out?

I'm gonna walk home.

Yeah, man, I got your back.

But my small talk with children is real limited!

So...

did you hear that new Ween album?

-Wah! -Aah!

Tip?

Whoa! Sweet prank, man.

It's technically more of a scare.

I've never gotten you before?

I've been working this corner for 10 years.

No way! How old are you?

-32. -So you're my age

and you're still having fun pranking people?

Well, I actually studied scaring

at the Ottawa Conservatory of --

You got to prank my friends!

That's them, right there.

Mmm...

Mmm!

Oh, my God. She's so hot.

Hey, that's my wife.

The Japanese woman? Oh, no, the other one.

Eh, she's okay.

But the Japanese woman is beautiful.

Bridgette?

I mean, yeah, she's very pretty...

...and newly divorced.

And you know what else?

She loves getting scared.

-She does? -Totally.

Hey, do you think maybe after the scare, you can...

introduce me? -Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Just get down. Enough with the pranks, Josh.

You just got us banned from that club.

Okay, I can see where you're coming from, and you're right.

Let's hug it out.

We don't need to hug it out.

Ehh?

Ah, geez.

-What are y-- -Where are you going?

Do you know how hugs work?

-Aah! -Aah!

-Huh! -Huh!

Huh-hu-huh-uh-hu-hu-hu!

The big "C."

It's tough to beat. -Wh-Whoa.

Th-They punched Bush Guy so hard he got cancer?

Oh, no!

I always call a coma "the big C."

You know what?

Why don't you take Candice to get some crackers?

Ooh! Crackers! The big "C"!

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!

Ugh. This will put my PhD in anthropology

with an emphasis on Viking history to good use.

Eight years, Emily! Eight years!

-Freeze! Police! -

Are you the two women that knocked this

innocent man into a coma?

What? No!

What are you doing? I've got a job!

And a kid! -And a husband!

That's debatable!

Where are you taking them?

They're going to a holding cell downtown.

and unless Bush Guy wakes up

and decides not to press charges,

we're looking at the big "M."

Murder?!

Oh, actually, that's pretty close. Manslaughter!

Uhhh.

Come on.

You know, mommy allows me one candy a day.

Okay, whatever.

And the cycle of capitalism continues.

Ha! Prank war!

I'm not supposed to have candy!

Okay. You got me? Pfft.

A-Are you... Oh!

Oh, God! Aah!

Hey! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

Aah! Candice, be careful!

I pranked my way into this.

Maybe I can prank my way out.

Hmm.

Hmm.

H-- -Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Good Lord!

Hammers are for amnesia.

Yah! Aah!

Aah! Aah!

I've got a family!

Oh, man. Oh, man, oh, man.

Relax, Em. This is just another prank.

It's all fake.

I can't believe Josh went through all of this

just to feel young again.

It's so sad.

Alex and I had better production value

on our bedroom role play.

I mean, look at this.

This woman couldn't look more "stereotypical prisoner."

Is that real?

-Is this real? -Aah!

Oh, my God! It's real!

It's not a prank! This is not a prank!

How long until Josh gets here?

He's probably not coming! This is our life now!

Stupid prank war!

I'm sorry, Bush Guy.

This is all my fault.

Pranking's a young man's game.

Now you're gonna die,

and I've ruined everything for Emily and Bridgette.