The Closet (Le Placard) (Le Placard)

THE CLOSET

Pignon's got a neat tie!

Specially for the photo?

Now, please.

Please!

Must I remind you, this is a company photo!

So smile. Look proud...

to be part of this fine outfit!

The gentleman at bottom left.

With the red tie!

You're not in the frame.

I only see your arm. Move over!

That's fine.

Now I've lost the guy on the right!

The zipper jacket's in now!

But I've lost the red tie!

Are we going to get this picture?

The red tie's still out!

We've wasted enough time!

Everyone, look at me.

Were you drunk?

I've never had a framing problem before!

I feel bad for the guy in the red tie.

- Don't. He's being fired. - Really?

He doesn't know it yet, but he's out.

Poor guy.

No, he's an idiot.

- Am I let go? - Only him in Accounting.

- Does he know it? - Not yet.

- Why's he being fired? - Staff reduction.

That's lousy.

He's a good man. I tried to keep him.

He's nice but boring.

No, honest, dedicated.

Right, a real drag!

Morning, Miss Bertrand, Ariane...

Coffee, anyone?

No, thanks.

- Did you know? - What?

That I've been fired.

Not really. I'd heard about redundancy. Nothing specific.

Poor guy.

Yes, it's no fun.

We're not in. Leave us a message.

Christine? Frank? Are you there?

- Pick it up! - He wants you.

You're not in? Frank?

See, he wants you!

That's me?

You're out. I'll call later.

I can't now. I'm late.

I'm late too.

No, call me at the office, Christine.

I've been fired. Next month, no job. I found out...

and I wanted to talk to you.

But I'll find a job. Don't worry about your alimony.

See you later. Big hug.

It's me. I got your message.

I'm not worried. You'll be okay.

Call tomorrow. I'm out tonight.

I'm not worried. You'll bounce back.

What are you doing there?

Don't move.

Enjoy your meal.

I have to go jump out the window.

My wife said I'd bounce back. We'll soon see.

Don't do it. You'll wreck my car.

I'm parked under your window. You'll land on it.

It's an old battered car, but the roof's fine. Don't be an idiot.

''Give me back my cat!''

Thanks. It's a silly animal.

Like my old car. I'm fond of it.

I'm new. I moved in today. Jean-Pierre Belone.

Let's toast it. Come for a drink.

It isn't my car, but how else could I stop you?

Nor my cat, but it made you open your door. Want it?

Then I'll keep it.

Good night. Take good care.

I won't leave till I've heard your voice!

Silent people scare me.

Say one word and I'll leave.

Thanks.

Come have a drink. I'm lonely, and no happier than you.

You wanted to die?

Don't know. I may not have the guts.

All because you got fired?

No, my whole life's a mess.

Tell me.

I won't bother you with it. It's so dull.

Go on. There's nothing on TV tonight.

My wife left me two years ago, and I still love her.

My 1 7-year-old son has dropped me.

Now I've lost my job. It was all I had. Fascinating, right?

Yes, it is dull.

At least you're frank.

I made you smile.

I found out from Santini in Personnel.

He's thrilled I got fired!

- Why? - He never liked me. He's a jerk!

He broke my collarbone.

Made me try out for our rugby team. You see me playing rugby?

No.

He flattened me. I got three weeks sick leave. Very funny!

I liked that company. I was there 20 years.

I won't bore you any longer.

Maybe we can save your job. Let me think.

Save my job? You're dreaming!

I'll think it over. But don't jump. That's no solution.

Of the 1 23 passengers, none survived.

Bad weather has hampered the rescue operation.

In Denmark, the ferry that sank off the coast...

is the worst disaster of the decade.

There's talk of 400 casualties.

In Indonesia, no news of the 23 tourists kidnapped by guerillas.

An ominous silence!

The weather forecast is no better.

Hello.

Sorry about the mess. I'm still moving in.

It's my books. How will they all fit?

And the closet?

I'm coming. We have to talk.

Meet me down in the caf? I may have a solution.

I used to be an industrial psychologist.

I know about corporate practices.

If you want to keep your job, you must--

If I want to keep my job?

- Come out of the closet. - What?

Come out of the closet. Admit you're gay.

But I'm not at all gay!

Who cares, if others believe it, especially your boss?

These are recent, before she left me, two years ago.

She's pretty. What does she do?

Translates. Majored in English. Now earns a bit.

But she needs my alimony.

When we met, she was nursing a heartbreak.

I became her confidant. A dumb role.

She married me as coldly as she left me.

She's so pretty...

and I'm hideous!

You're hardly cute.

You know how to cheer up a guy!

Flattery's a no-no for depressives.

You're an eyesore with no future and an idiot.

Feel better now?

I don't feel any worse.

My problem is my insignificance.

Here's my recurrent dream. I'm being born, but I'm already here.

The doctor hasn't noticed and tells my mom to keep pushing.

I wait in a corner for them to realize I'm here.

The symbolism's pretty obvious.

- I'll get them back to you soon. - What are they for?

Here.

- What's that? - It's you.

With a friend.

We'll shuffle it up.

Digital magic!

Coming!

- Did I wake you? - Never mind.

Did you mail that letter?

Yes, last night.

- Shit! - What's wrong?

I thought it over. Your strategy won't work.

Come in.

I can't fake being gay. I'm no actor. I'll get exposed!

Cup of coffee? I could use one.

You're right. If you camp it up, you'll be a flop.

You bet!

It's hard, especially playing a flamer.

Most actors who try are way off and vulgar.

So it won't work.

No. You'll pull it off if you do nothing at all.

Just stay the shy, discreet person they've known for years.

What'll change is how they perceive you.

Suzanne!

That's Pignon!

Holy shit!

Francoise? Pignon, in Accounting, you'll never guess.

Wait. I'll send you a copy.

Robert? You sitting down? Don't hang up.

Morning, Martine, Suzanne.

Morning, sir.

How's the mail today?

I'll bring it right in, sir.

Well?

I want to know who sent them, and why!

If only there was an anonymous letter--

''Don't fire Pignon! We'll tell the media...

you hate gays.'' But only these photos.

We're not firing him 'cause he's gay!

But people will say that's why!

I've got nothing against gays!

Damn that faggot!

What do we do?

Madame...

Gentlemen. Good morning!

Before we get down to business, I want you to see these.

They're your sons. Good-looking boys!

No, the bare-assed guy is an accountant here.

Pass them around.

It's Pignon!