Psych

And now, applause for the double A player of the year, Cal Eason.

This is the exact guy to get us out of this situation.

Way to go, way to go.

Hey, Cal.

Someday I'm gonna be just like you.

Yeah.

Well, not just like you.

I won't chew tobacco. That's murder on the gums.

And I'll get a different haircut.

Not that yours is that bad.

It just won't work with my head, you know?

And I definitely won't grab my crotch so much during games.

It's weird.

Oh.

Go get 'em, Cal!

You got it.

Wait for your pitch, Cal.

Wait for your pitch, Cal.

Be patient.

Patient. Be patient.

Play ball.

There's a high drive.

Way back.

And gone!

Cal Eason has done it again.

Hey! Ha ha ha ha!

- Let's go, Shawn! - Let's go!

All right, Spencer, we're down by one.

Just get on base.

Come on, Brandon. Bring me that weak sauce.

Bring it!

Whoo!

That a boy.

You got any more creamsicles?

All right, hold up.

Hold up.

Hold up, hold up.

- Go, go, go, go. - Stop!

Go, go, go, go.

What is wrong with you?

You're outta there!

Game over.

Son of a--

This guy!

What?

That is the worst call that I have ever seen!

What do you have, doll's eyes?

- You mocking me? - No, I'm stating a fact.

You need glasses.

Last week you mistook me for Michael Chiklis.

That's because you were dressed like Michael Chiklis.

First of the month Gus and I play The Commish.

You know that!

Don't blame me for your stupid base running.

Even in sports, you got no discipline.

I was safe by a yard, and you know it!

You called me out 'cause you were jealous.

Jealous? Jealous of what?

I am something that you never were.

I am a bona fide star in the class "C"

Municipal Santa Barbara Co-ed Softball League,

you son of a bitch!

That's it, you're outta here!

You can't toss me! The game is over!

I'm gonna leave before he does anything truly embarrassing.

Ha, too late.

Agh!

- Pick it up. - Suck it!

Get out!

Suck home plate!

Suck it!

Want the last bite of my creamsicle?

Yes, I would actually.

- I bet you would. - That's messed up.

That was one hell of a swing.

Mel?

Mel.

Look at you.

My former bat boy all grown up.

Gus, it gives me great pleasure

to introduce Mel Hornsby.

Manager of the Seabirds.

Oh, wow, sounds like the coolest job ever.

The minor league baseball team,

- not the actual Birds. - Oh.

Shawn, the reason why I'm here is--

I know, Mel, I'm a psychic.

You need me to play shortstop.

No, I want you to do some investigative work for me.

Slash, play shortstop.

No, I definitely don't need that.

Look, I'm willing to move positions

only because it's you,

but I'd like to pick my spot in the batting order.

What do you need investigated?

My longtime hitting coach Grady Barrett

dropped dead the other day of a heart attack.

Oh, no.

Wow.

I'm sorry, Mel.

Grady was a good man.

Yes, he was.

But there's a little bit more to the story.

They found a large amount of amphetamines in his system.

Greenies as we call them in the baseball world.

- Yeah. - Greenies?

That doesn't sound like Grady.

So you think someone on the team

slipped him drugs and murdered him?

Perhaps.

Whatever happened, I just need to know.

The man was like a brother to me.

Yeah, of course. We'll help you, Mel.

But in order for me to investigate properly,

I'm gonna have to get on the inside.

I mean, deep on the inside.

I'm not making you my shortstop.

Third baseman.

Utility infielder?

Lefty situational reliever?

- You're right-handed, Shawn. - Here's the thing.

When I get hired by a professional sports franchise,

it is customary that I go undercover

as one of the players.

What if I make you a coach?

I could say you're my roving hitting instructor

until the organization finds a new one.

I can rove. I feel like I can rove.

And then I'll get to work with Cal Eason again.

That's right.

It's amazing,

after 20 years he's right back where he started.

Poor guy.

We'll need to find something for my partner Gus here.

We're a package deal.

We do have one position available.

Sounds good, yeah.

Come on, make it work up there!

Make it work!

Let's make it work up there. Let's make it work!

I can't believe I let you talk me into this.

What, are you kidding me, man?

You're killing it up there.

Hey, come on, ump! You call that a strike?

Come on, ump, call that a strike?

And you'll never get to the majors!

Ah, you'll never get to the majors.

[The Friendly Indians' I Know You Know]

I'm not dressing up as that mascot again.

- That was humiliating. - Oh, come on, Gus.

You killed it, man.

Didn't you hear the crowd go nuts when you did the worm?

- It wasn't the worm. - I'm sorry. The centipede.

It wasn't the centipede either.

I was dealing with an itch on my stomach.

I think that suit has fleas.

So this is where Grady lives, huh?

Not bad.

Well, let's find these drugs

so we can put an end to this stupid case.

We're not gonna find any drugs in there, Gus.

What?

If Mel says Grady was clean, that means he was clean.

All I know is that people who die with drugs in their system

are usually the ones who put drugs in their system.

Hey, check it out.

Come on, son.

You know what, man?

It doesn't even bother me that we're spinning our wheels.

It gives me more time

to work on getting my one professional at bat.

That's not gonna happen.

Ooh, macadamias.

I'm pretty sure those are old chickpeas.

Why would he leave those out?

Because he's dead.

That's no excuse, Gus.

Ahh.

Oh, look, Gus.

Grady really did coach with some of the greats.

There's a picture of him and Tito Jackson

in a baseball uniform.

That's Rod Carew.

- Agree to disagree. - Keep looking.

I'm gonna check upstairs.

Sounds good, bro.

Will you stop goofing around?

I'm not goofing around. You're goofing around.

- By the way, is it hot in here? - Not really.

I got to be honest, man.

It seems a little warm to me.

Let's see...

- Nothing in the kitchen. - Are you feeling okay?

I actually feel pretty terrific,

like super duper focused.

Why are you staring at my ear?

I don't know, but I can't take my eyes off it.

- Why are you talking so fast? - Why are you hearing so slow?

Why are you doing everything so slow?

Why do you move so slow all the time, Gus?