Attack of the Hollywood Clichés!

Hi. Unlike you, I'm Rob Lowe, and I love movies.

The fact is, I'd rather be watching a movie than doing this right now.

But let's pretend I didn't say that and just enjoy each other's company.

Thousands of movies are released every year.

That's a lot of stories,

even though according to screenwriting theory

there are only seven basic plots: overcoming the monster...

and the other six.

It's little wonder that stock characters,

familiar story beats, and convenient plot devices

have crept in over time.

Tonight, we celebrate the clichés that have made cinema what it is today:

struggling for relevance in the aftermath of a pandemic.

Over the next hour, we'll be looking at Tinseltown's habit

of using these handy cinematic tropes in...

Attack of the Hollywood Clichés!

We'll be asking questions like,

"Why do women being chased by large, scary dinosaurs

have to do it in high heels?"

As we build to some of my favorite clichés,

we'll be looking at some of the most dramatic moments in cinema.

Some of the most controversial.

Sister is teaching the mothers how to wash their children.

How other clichés have been raised to a form of high art.

And of course, how Hollywood deals with sex.

And violence.

And where better to begin than with a familiar beginning,

from the world of romantic comedy, it's the meet cute.

That magical moment in movies when the love begins.

People watch romcoms to get high.

They wanna experience that first sensation of love

so that when they see those two people meet for the very first time,

when that moment, that spark,

that chemistry happens,

it feels so real to them

that they have that sensation in their body.

There's always some funny, contrived reason why you have the two people

who are gonna fall in love meet,

because it has to be interesting.

They can't meet the way regular people meet.

-Lady, keep driving. - Get out!

Some kind of embarrassing, comedic, unlikely scenario...

that brings the two together.

I live just over the street. I have, um, water and soap.

You can get cleaned up.

If that happened in real life,

you would throw the rest of your juice in their face.

You'd be like, "No, get away from me."

In five minutes, we can have you spick and span

and back on the street again,

in the non-prostitute sense, obviously.

Whenever two people fall in love in a film,

whatever the genre, the clichés of cinematic romance are ever present.

I hate the water, and I hate being wet, and I hate you!

Good!

They don't like each other, are engaged or married to someone else.

Jack, I'm engaged.

I'm marrying Cal.

There has to be a struggle to go through or else it would be boring.

Of course, this being the movies,

male strategies vary from annoying persistence to outright harassment.

Well, how about this for a coincidence?

A lot of films which are shown from the male point of view

feature what you would really call stalking.

You wanna dance with me?

No.

Why not?

Because I don't want to.

-Well, will you go out with me? -What?

-No! -No?

-No! -No?

-Hey, pal, she just told you. -Why not?

Like in Twilight, when he climbs up through her window

and says, "I like watching you sleep."

Do you do that a lot?

Just the past couple of months.

Stalking is sexy only applies when it's men stalking women.

When women are persistent or stalking male characters,

they become the villain.

I just wanna be a part of your life.

And this is the way you do it, huh? Showing up at my apartment?

What am I supposed to do?

You won't answer my calls, you change your number.

I'm not gonna be ignored, Dan.

Every story needs a lead character who commands attention,

someone as unique, special, and one-of-a-kind

as the lead in every other movie.

Since all aspects of your protagonists have to be remarkable,

it's not enough for them to just have a job.

Whatever that job is, they gotta job the shit out of it,

especially if their job is the job: the cop's job.

-You think I'm crazy? -Yeah.

In Hollywood,

if you want crimes solved and the bad guys brought to justice,

top of the law-enforcement tree is the maverick cop.

Now, that's a real badge, I'm a real cop, and this is a real fucking gun.

The maverick cop is a badass, he doesn't listen to the chief.

You wanna play some bullshit cowboy cop, go do it in somebody else's precinct.

They are completely dysfunctional.

He's probably an alcoholic, terrible father.

You're my daughter, in my house, and you'll respect me, got that?

-Don't call me a fuck-up. -Why shouldn't I?

Mom calls you one.

They only care about the job.

No bullshit. You wanna kill yourself?

You know why I don't do it? The job.

Destroying everything in their path.

- -

Maverick cops keep coming,

but the poster boy for loose cannons of law enforcement remains:

Clint Eastwood's Dirty Harry.

You've got to ask yourself one question:

-"Do I feel lucky?" -

Well, do you, punk?

Dirty Harry is a really toxic example of this cliché.

That film tries so hard

to put us on the side of this beaten-down cop

who really just wants to let go and shoot a bunch of people.

- -

He exists by his own rules

and he does what he has to do to get criminals.

It's painted that the legal system is either incredibly stupid

or run by bleeding heart liberals.

What I'm saying is that man had rights.

Well, I'm all broken up about that man's rights.

Maverick law dictates that there's only two things

these cops care about, and they're both shiny.

Your badge and gun, officer.

It's a key moment in films where the maverick cop

hands in their gun and badge, like,

"You are no longer someone who should be in this position."

We know, the audience knows, he's the only one who should have it.

You're making me do this. Give me your badge.

Just take a couple...

In recent times,

Hollywood has moved away from making maverick cop movies,

reflecting the disenchantment with police officers

who take the law into their own hands.

We are led to believe that they're gonna do the right thing

morally and ethically.

The reality is, that doesn't appear to be the case

with a lot of police officers.

It is something that should be rethought by filmmakers,

TV producers, and it is being rethought.

But the maverick cop hasn't taken an early retirement.

On TV, there's room for clichés

to be worked into three-dimensional characters.

Kate Winslet's Mare of Easttown

has a complex internal life, but don't worry,

she's still a cop who drinks hard,

bends the rules, gets suspended...

Gun and badge.

...but still gets her man.

- -

Hollywood loves a winner,

but not every character in your story can be a hero,

unless it's set in the Marvel Universe, which only 96% of movies are.

Some characters are so destined to lose

from the moment they walk on screen,

that they might as well turn up wearing a coffin and get it over with.

You're a secondary character in a film.

Thanks, John.

You've got a dangerous job.

You're planning on calling it a day.

Tomorrow I'd like you to--

-I'm resigning tomorrow, Frank. -What?

Big mistake.

Al!

Dead man walking,

American cinema loves to cue

people who are going to die by making sure we know this is their last job.

They're about to retire, right?

I got three more days, I wanna make the most of it.

Maybe there's a retirement party planned for you later.

How about a speech?

And you've just got one more shift to do.

And there are other classic ways

to guarantee death is just around the corner.

One way, you'll hear a character talk about his family,

about his aspirations...

And I will marry a round American woman and raise rabbits.

If they start reflecting on what they gonna do next... dead.

Often in war films as well, it will be the G.I. or whatever,

gets out a photo of his girlfriend...

and it's probably been in his pocket for a while. Big mistake.

-Please. Please. -

- - So once you're dead onscreen,

your funeral will be attended by loved ones

and a solitary figure who, for some reason,

stands and stares from a long way away.

It also allows the director to get the wide shot of the ceremony.

But The Fast and the Furious takes it to another level.

While Paul Walker watches a funeral from a distance,

Vin Diesel is watching Paul Walker watch a funeral from a distance,

from a distance.

Of course, once the funeral is over,

the grave site is the perfect setting

to show a character's fragile emotional state.

- -I love you.

Hey, Bubba. It's me, Forrest Gump.