King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table

In medieval England, the kingdom of Camelot was under attack.

I, King Arthur, and the remaining Knights of the round table

were driven deep below Camelot where the final battle against the evil sorceress,

Morgana, would decide the future of mankind.

Destroy them!

Stop them!

Morgana! Merlin, end this!

Down on your knees.

I said, get on your knees!

Harmony.

Unity.

Freedom.

The Kingdom of Camelot had all of this

until the bowels of hell vomited up two beings

who defy law and logic.

Mordred.

Your soulless heart is nothing more

than a foul regurgitation

of your mother's sick incestuous obsession of me.

You burned down our monasteries and convents hoping that

we would worship you as a god instead.

How mistaken you are.

And Morgana le Fay, whose mad attempt to make my wife

infertile only resulted in cursing the entire world.

Because of you, every woman and animal is now barren.

The Earth itself refused to grow and feed us.

You want me to reverse the spell?

Make me Camelot's true monarch.

No more spells!

The only way of expelling your black magic is by stripping the

world of the source that cursed it to begin with.

You plan to kill me with my own sword?

Excalibur is mine.

The Excalibur is a part of me more than my own blood,

I was cradled in the gold it's made with.

And I have far more control of the gemstone than you think.

For I am the real Lady of the Lake.

What you created shall destroy you.

Kill me, and I'll come back as a demon and possess you.

Send me to Hell and I'll copulate with Satan himself.

I grant you immunity from age and sickness.

Death is too merciful.

Emit the sword.

Mother!

What have you done to her?

The same thing I've done to myself.

Now all the world's magic is contained in Excalibur.

Arthur, I plead with you, send them to hell.

And what becomes of the sword?

Magic is like matter. They are all the same thing.

They come in many forms, but we just have to keep them away from the human beings.

Get on the throne.

Arthur! Punish me, but spare our son.

I said get on the throne! Please. Arthur.

-Please! -Get on the throne now!

You want Camelot?

It's yours.

Forever!

Is this how we're going to spend immortality?

Hurtling endlessly into oblivion?

It may take years. Centuries even.

But I will reclaim the power that was taken from me.

And boil the veins of Arthur's bloodline.

I swear it!

Okay, I give up.

You know, if you kill me,

you have to cook dinner for yourself tonight.

Tomm yam goong?

How about steak and potatoes?

Okay. I love local food.

Such chivalry. King Arthur would be proud.

Or is it King Richard?

You've been talking to my cousin, haven't you?

Are we going to move into a castle?

Stop teasing me.

Isn't that what tomorrow is all about?

A chance for the descendants of the Knights of the Round Table

to meet up and fight?

Look, if Gunner wants to believe our family used to run around

wearing suits of armor, slaying dragons, that's fine.

But not me.

Which one are you related to?

Like I follow that genealogy crap.

Come on. Just tell me.

I don't know. Sir Kay. Or Sir Galahad.

Or Sir Motorboat.

Your shoulder again?

Always there to remind me why I didn't make the NFL draft.

Are you going to be okay for the tournament tomorrow?

Yeah. I'll compete in a wheelchair if I have to.

I came all the way out here on my leave specifically for the tournament.

I've got to show the family I'm still number one.

You know, it's not that serious.

Besides, I don't want you to be too sore to climb Bell Mountain.

Look, I'll go see Elaine in the morning. She'll set it right.

Is she really related to Merlin?

I am going to kill Gunner for filling your head with all these stories.

What? He says it's true. And that Elaine hides out in Bangkok to stay anonymous.

All I know is she makes more money massaging millionaires

than I make busting my ass for the Marines.

You know, I kind of like the idea of you being a Knight in shining armor.

Although the whole "damsel in distress" is not my thing.

It's okay.

I got enough distress for both of us.

Here?

The doors are locked.

We're alone.

And, it's kind of a dojo tradition.

You hate traditions.

Yeah but...

I could get used to this one.

What the?

Look.

Should we make a wish?

I mean, It's probably just space junk.

Okay.

-That one right there. -Okay.

I wish...

I guess that wish wasn't meant to be.

Well, we'll just have to make another wish.

I can think of one.

What's that?

It's my wish.

Penn.

Are you asking me what I think you're asking me?

Well, unless you say no.

Then I got to think of another question.

Yes.

Yes. Yes.

God, Penn.

The scan has confirmed no one is aware.

The meteor shower cloaked our descent for the perfect diversion.

Although our landing was imperfect.

We can't risk being seen until I have my powers back.

Where are their defenses?

It's a wonder that an advanced species hasn't enslaved this planet yet.

Because the magic is still here.

Merlin could only hide it, not destroy it.

The Excalibur is nearby.

Shielding this pathetic world from the sorcery that is rightfully mine.

I will get it back...

and make this world pay for what Arthur did to us.

Perhaps we should think about our attire.

They will suffice.

Excuse me, that's a lovely outfit.

A touch of the old.

Let's go.

Maybe I should just get surgery.

Surgery is just a temporary solution.

What I offer is much more permanent.

Good. 'Cause I can't fly to Bangkok every week like your rich clients can.

Don't worry. I never charge family.

We're second cousins who haven't seen each other in five years.

I mean, that hardly counts as family.

Well, I'm an only child, so I'll take what I can get.

Then you should join us!

It's really just an excuse to reunite the black sheep of the family and

catch up with some old friends.

I can't.

We're booked solid with a football team, soccer team... whatever you all call it.

And you're still tense. What's bothering you?

I was supposed to find out about a promotion before I came out here.

But so far, nothing.

Looks like I'll always be a grunt.

Maybe you need a change.

To what?

Sword fighter for hire?

Bro. Really? What are you doing here?

You missed breakfast. Everybody was there. I did the scene from Lionheart.

And I'm telling you, I was pretty spot on.

-How did you find me? -Jenna told me.

And again, who is this "Sir Motorboat" you're talking about? Really?

I don't have time for this. Nice to see you guys.

Catch up tonight? I got swords!

-I'll try! I'll try. -I got these swords.

-So I expect for you to be there. -Look, I'll try.

It's been way too long.

-Well, I'm going to take you up on it. -All right.

So, I can't even slide you a tip?

No. Just pay me by making the family proud and by moving to Bangkok, yeah?

-All right. Deal. -All right. See you.

We've got a busy day ahead of us. Don't overdo it.

I'm fine.

-I can call in a replacement. -I told you I'm fine.

Elaine, the soccer team is here.

We can rest before we go inside.

No. The Excalibur is inside.

Once I have it back, I'll never know pain again.

Can I help you?

What is it that you help people with here?

Sports therapy. Massages.

A house of whores.

It's not as bad as I thought.

Why would a sword be in here?

A sword?

Yes. A very large sword.

We have nothing like that here.

Yes, you do.

And how could you be so sure of that?

Call it a mother's instinct.