Crazy in the Noodle (Comme un cheveu sur la soupe)

Pathé presents.

Is it like this every day? - Isn't it beautiful?

This will never work, it's too sad.

Goodbye...

Goodbye...

Mr Pierre Cousint? - Yes that's me, thank you.

Sir, the bill. - Sorry, I didn't see it.

This can happen to anyone...

Keep the change. - Thank you sir.

See you my friend!

Poison.

Mr Cousint, there's a phone call for you. - I'm not here anymore...

It's Miss Vanda. - Vanda, Vanda? I'm coming...

I'm coming...

Can't you say it directly?

Vanda, yes, it's Pierre here. It's good to hear you.

Dear Vanda. Pardon?

Your letters... the letters are still in my shirt.

Now? Right away? I'm coming immediately...

It smells like gas here. - Gas?

Yes, gas.

The gas...

My God, the poison...

An antidote, milk...

milk... milk... milk...

Do you have any milk? - Yes, there's milk in the fridge.

Do you have...

milk... milk... milk...

Do you have milk? Milk.

I can pour it myself...

Make yourself at home!

Thank you, you're kind.

Excuse me, I'm expected...

Put it on my tab.

Vanda, dear Vanda, I see you... I'm coming back to life...

Do you have my letters. - Your letters, always...

Those are yours. - Is that why you made me come?

Ah, Vanda...

I'll explain later... - Who is this gentleman?

The postman.

It would have been too good...

If you're going to commit suicide, try something else?

You're lucky. Last week I was transporting cans.

Help! Help! Help! - Wait, I'm coming...

Help, help, help. - One minute, I'm coming...

Wait for me, I'm coming right away. - Help, help, help.

Help me...

Where are you? Where did she go? Help, help...

I got her, no she's gone...

Is there anyone?

Come here, this way! This way!

This way, here...

Wait. - Put your foot.

Help, help, help...

Police station.

It's a bit small but it's dry. - Thanks.

You couldn't go on like that, could you?

Please, coffee. - You're too kind.

It's the least I can do...

Here's my belt. - Does it matter?

I have suspenders.

Before I met you I had prejudices about cops.

Excuse me, I mean police. - It's okay...

I was wrong, you're a nice person.

Thanks.

Wow...

Before you get cold. - Sorry.

After you, a routine identity check. It won't take long.

Congratulations sir, congratulations.

Which number? - 22.

It's a joke, cash.

I hope you don't start again? - No inspector, I was too scared...

Does she have anything? - Not even a cold.

What possessed you? You're young, you're beautiful...

No, you mustn't cry like that...

Do you have a handkerchief? - Here you are.

Here...

Well, now I can go. - The inspector wanted to see you personally.

Me? For what?

For a medal. - But which medal?

A medal because you saved the lady, idiot!

But I don't want it... - What a hero.

It's because I'm in a hurry. - It won't take long, sit down.

Don't you want to visit the drowned woman?

She's very beautiful.

Alright, I must go now.

It was an honor to meet you.

Me too, it was also a pleasure. - You can keep my belt.

You were born in August, right? You're a Leo.

A good Leo.

Master of the sun, dominant, authoritative, cruel...

May I?

Occipital ebigut, the spasmodic parietal...

the temporal vermiculated and the pyramidal steroid.

You're the perfect person to fight Martians.

A star and a triangle on your finger, your fingers are perfect.

The name of Venus is in your hand and the lifeline, perfect.

Perfect, what does that mean?

You will live to be a hundred years old, sir.

One hundred years, that won’t be fun. - You’ll have to accept it anyway...

To avoid reaching a hundred years old, they would have to kill you...

Kill me? Thanks!

Thanks, you saved my life! You understand.

There you are. - You ran away again?

Don’t touch me! - He has been good...

He is always good. - Home.

I will file a complaint with the minister.

Of course, my friend.

Home. - Excuse us.

See you next time...

Hey people, do you have something for me?

An assault. - Nobody cares about that anymore.

Are we going back? - I might have something for you.

Alright, where is the body? - There is no body.

That’s not funny!

It’s not my fault, is it? - Are we leaving now?

Caroline Clement, artist.

That rings a bell... - Grand Prix 1955.

She didn’t do anything else. - That’s fine.

Drop it, it’s nothing interesting.

Cousin, did he also commit suicide? - He helped the lady.

Composer, does that mean anything to you? - No, we’re leaving.

I knew it, you are an idiot.

I will take you home by car.

Yes. - Thanks.

Inspector. - I don’t want journalists!

What? She doesn’t want journalists. - Don’t talk, take photos!

And, heartbreak? - Leave me alone.

Personally I don’t care, but readers like this...

Leave her alone, do you find this fun? She has no success in her career.

Perfect, come on guys, take some photos!

You are crazy. - She is a singer and doesn’t want photos?

Photos!

Thank you everyone. - And congratulations again!

Where is Pierre? - He is gone...

It doesn’t matter, we have his address.

Come on... - Damn, we’re going to bed late again.

Do I know the neighborhood? I’ve lived here for 25 years...

I was made to believe that in this neighborhood... there are murderers...

Here in Montmartre? That’s long in the past, sir.

If you want to see them, you must go to another area...

Take his money...

Polo? - What is it?

I want to ask you something.

Come in, come in, an experience in space, madam?

It’s an added experience, like you’re right inside it.

Come in sir, fun guaranteed!

A murderer? You are really a comedian.

There are still some crazy people.

Come in, come in, come in sir, madam...

If I understand correctly, I have to kill you? - Exactly!

Excuse me...

Wow, that one with his music!

Does it bother you? - No, it gets on my nerves!

Music, if I could choose, I would be a composer...

I understand you. - How much do you give?

Why? - For your disappearance.

Disappearance? Ah yes, sorry.

Sixty thousand francs, okay? - Are you kidding me?

Under a million there is no deal. - Sorry, I didn’t mean to offend you.

It’s the first time... - Listen...

It’s nice, isn’t it? - Yes...

Listen, can’t you give me credit? - The house does not give credit!

In your case certainly not.

Can we really not arrange anything? - And my fee? What do you do with it?

Can you kill me for free?

Are you crazy? Here? I’ll have problems with my union.

For when would it be? - Right now...

Are you joking?

You can’t improvise that, you have to prepare it...

It’s because I don’t have time. - Then you’ll have to look elsewhere...

I work completely legally... - Alright then...

For the next two months I’m not free. I have too many orders...

so you’ll have to wait...

Listen, it’s nice, isn’t it? - Yes, it’s nice!

I like you, drop by sometime...

when I find a gap, you’ll be the first.

Good evening sir. - Is it special?

Special? Of course...

special with 32 portraits... it’s the best in all of Paris.

With the most beautiful girls in the world.

The virgins of Capri, the girls without underwear...

plenty of show, a striptease and a surprise party.

The good ones from Mumbai and the white ones of the pink army.

Striptease in Balboa, striptease in Calcutta...

Striptease in Hong Kong, striptease in Saint-Germain-des-Prés.

Striptease in Bordeaux, striptease in Carpentras...

End of the line. Please.

Carte Rouge, sir is a connoisseur...

Did you call me? - It’s probably a misunderstanding...

It’s the same again. - No, this is good for sir.

The orchestra toasts to the health of sir...

You are too kind...

No, wait, I have to go. - But sir...

The party has just started.

If it bothers you, I can leave... - You are here now...

Do you want to dance? - Absolutely not.

I prefer it like this, we can talk for a moment...

How, he drowned? - No...

He is a hero. - A hero?