Detectorists

Enjoy!

Anything?

Linda!

What you got?

Ring pull - 78.

Kestrel Super.

Kestrel.

Super.

What?

Go, go, go!

Go, go!

I said I'd meet you at the end of the road.

Yeah, well, you weren't there.

Couldn't you have waited?

Look, you know the deal -

first to arrive gets first choice of the field.

Can't afford to let Terra Firma, or whatever else they're calling

themselves today, get there before us.

Oh, yeah.

I had a brilliant dream last night.

Yeah?

Brilliant.

You have got to be joking me!

Bastards!

You strapped in?

Go, go, go, go, go, go, go!

Woohoo! Woohoo!

Stick that up your Arado!

That was brilliant! That was like Hill Street Blues or... or...

or chips or summat!

When we came to that gradual bend to the right.

I was right on his tail.

You were glued to the road.

Oh, that was just terrific! Good times.

Good times!

So you don't think you were even hypnotised?

Oh, I know I wasn't. Nowhere near.

I pretended I was, but wasn't.

And when you got on the boat, you were just as sick?

Sicker. It was just foam by the end.

Ah, here they are at last - Wallace and Gromit.

Too late. Find your own field.

Mate! Mate!

Come here!

Better be bloody worth it.

What?

Look at these. Just pushed up out of this molehill.

What are they?

Bits of pottery. Oh, for fu...

Listen! Look, you know I can't get excited about stoneware.

Listen a minute. Look, I've just come from over there.

I've got a really good signal.

Just look at these, look. They're black on one side.

So? It's a cooking pot.

No, no, no, it's blackened on the inside.

I know this stuff. I recognise it.

I think this was a cremation urn, and this - this was a Roman burial.

Wait!

Wait a minute! Wait!

You bastard!

Wasn't my fault.

You told 'em it was here?

No. Well, then, it was your fault.

And anyway, it wouldn't have made any difference.

In fact, it would have made 'em get rid of it sooner.

What's going on?

Andy, for Christ's sake! You don't understand, do you?

There's no money to be made from a little bit of Roman mosaic.

It just slows down construction.

These guys in Dubai or wherever it is, they just want

their office block built so they can start turning over a profit.

So what are we even doing here?

You had to lift the flagstone, didn't you?

If there's one thing I've learnt from very early in this job,

you don't lift the flagstone.

You don't know what's going to be underneath.

Right, that's it. I quit.

Tim? I said I'm off.

For the day? No, I'm leaving.

For the day? No, for good.

So you're quitting? Yes. Well, why didn't you say that?

I did! You didn't hear. Would have made things a bit clearer.

I did say it. I'll say it again. I quit.

Right.

I'll do the paperwork.

I'm sorry about the mosaic.

See ya.

Hi, darling.

Hello, sweetheart.

Oh!

All right, Colin? I thought you was Toni. She about? Cheers.

Watcha! Finished?

Yeah. You just starting?

Yeah. Night shift.

Oh, well, ships in the night.

I just called Colin darling.

Why?

Thought it was you.

Because of the beard?

Yeah.

How did that go down? Really well. We're having dinner tomorrow night.

Oh, nice. He doesn't live on a boat, then?

Oh. Sorry.

Wish you hadn't told me the hypnotism worked.

I thought it had.

You were just humouring me all along.

Not deliberately. I was humouring myself.

Anyway, I've been thinking.

I'm going to lend Kate my car so she can go away this weekend.

The TR7? Yep. You'll never do it.

I've decided. I will. Beggars can't be choosers.

Desperate situations call for desperate measures.

Beggars can't be choosers? Who's the beggar - me or you?

That wasn't a very good choice of words.

Desperate situations?

I could have worded that better as well.

Anyway, my point is that...

I'm not sure I'm up for being part of a desperate situation.

All feels a bit silly.

Anyway, I was thinking of seeing my dad this weekend. No, don't.

Well, do, if you want to, but I am going to lend Kate my car, so... yes.

There.

Have a good shift. Drink coffee if you feel tired.

See ya.

Hey. Hi. Guess where we're going?

Where?

To look at a flat. Are we?

Yes! Don't be cross.

I saw it online and it looked really good, so I booked an appointment.

Thought we were way off being able to afford anything.

Well, I did some sums. I think I underestimated.

With your job guaranteed, I think

we can get a mortgage on something like this.

Let's just look at it, see if it's the sort of thing we can afford.

Yeah, cool.

How was work today? How was the mosaic?

Um...

Yeah, no, there wasn't anything left of it after all.

Oh, shame. Maybe there's more of it elsewhere.

Yeah, maybe.

Oh! Hello?

I'm looking for Lance.

Are you now? And, er, who might you be, may I ask?

I'm Maggie.

Well, Maggie, you'd better get to the back of the queue because

that man is mine, and nobody else is sinking their claws into him!

Oh.

I'm fooling with you! I'm Kate. I'm Lance's daughter.

His daughter?

Yeah. I get that reaction a lot, actually.

Surprise at my very existence, like I'm a mythical creature.

Like a unicorn. Exactly.

Or a dolphin.

Er, is Lance expecting you? Because I'm actually just out the door.

Yeah. Yeah, I'm a bit early.

OK, well, you'd better come in and wait. Oh, thank you.

Oh, er, sorry about the mess. That's my fault.

Oh, don't worry about that. Er, make yourself a cup of tea.

Thanks. I'll see you. It's nice to meet you, Maggie.

Yeah, bye, Kate. Bye.

Eurgh!

Hello, hi! Um... ooh!

It's all right. Oh!

Hi. Becky? Yes. Kelvin. Hi.

Hi, Kelvin. This is my husband, Andy.

Thanks for doing this at such short notice.

Hello. No, it's fine, no problem. Keys. That's good.

OK.

It smells like a jumbo jet.

Oh, this is a good feature. Lights on!

Lights on now!

Lights! Turn on now! There.

Cool.

And you can use voice recognition with that,

so only you can turn the lights on.

Why would you do that?

So the burglars have to use their own torches.

Is there a problem with burglars?

No. Er...

This is the bathroom.

Underfloor heating throughout and... heated mirror.

Warm reflection?