Killers

This is your captain speaking.

Flight time to Nice will be seven hours, 30 minutes.

Our flight attendants will be coming by

to provide you with complimentary beverages.

Excuse me!

- We'll be flying at an altitude of 31,000 feet. - Hello!

- Relax and enjoy your flight. - Excuse me.

- Hey, there! - Mom.

- Do you mind? - Emergency exit's 13D, sweetie.

Great. Got it. Thanks, Dad.

Excuse me.

Three chardonnays, please.

No, nothing for me. I always remain alert in flight.

- Me, neither. Thank you. - Just the three, then.

I am so proud of you, sweetie.

A lot of women who had just got dumped would have backed out of this vacation,

but not you.

Thanks, Dad, but I didn't get dumped. It wasn't quite like that.

- It was mutual. - Yes.

They agreed to part ways, when he dumped her.

I thought it was because he needed space.

No, he just didn't find her spontaneous enough.

Too safe. Predictable.

I am sitting right here. I can hear you.

He tried to get you to go bungee jumping. You wouldn't do it.

I have a thing about heights, and a rule about vomiting in public.

- I think that's perfectly reasonable. - Too many rules, dear.

There's nothing wrong with being cautious, sweetie.

Safety is sexy.

First time your mother and I made love,

we managed to keep our seatbelts on the entire time.

- Wasn't easy... - Okay, Dad,

what did I just say about vomiting in public?

Change seats.

- And the emergency exit is... - 13D. Trust me. I know where it is.

About to throw myself out of it.

I got a visual on him now.

Target confirmed. I know the drill.

You have until 5:00 p.m. to deliver the package,

then the boss wants you to close the account.

Yeah, yeah. I will have his final bill ready to go.

You have my wife and I on the second floor and my daughter on the third,

when I specifically booked adjacent rooms.

I assure you, your room is lovely...

"Lovely" and "adjacent" are not the same thing.

She's a single woman, all alone.

Recently single. I am not always alone.

Dad, the room is fine. Can you drop it?

Do you know how many push-in robberies happen in hotels, sweetie?

Third floor. We'd like an ocean view.

- Always the same thing with the rooms. - Let Daddy do his thing.

Little Frenchman will cave.

He's a weasel face, like you-know-who.

- Richard. I'm talking about Richard. - I know, Mother.

We're not discussing him anymore, remember?

- Right, right. He's dead to us. - Yes.

So it never bothered you that he had a kind of womanly butt?

What?

No, he did not.

Forget I said anything.

- I do not speak French. - Excuse me. We have resolved the problem.

I'm going to go check on my room. You and Daddy figure this out.

You want a little Maalox for the road?

Wouldn't it be easier just to humor me?

I don't speak French.

Yeah, no, no. I got it the first time.

- Why were you pretending back there? - I don't know. Why did you follow me?

I was already going to the beach. Remember?

Yeah, well, I could be going swimming, too.

Are you?

No.

- I'm just going to go marinate in shame. - I'm Spencer, by the way.

It's nice to meet you, Spencer.

- Do you have a name? - Jen! Jennifer. Sometimes Jenny.

No, it's Jen. It's just Jen.

I'm gonna go swimming before it gets dark.

Yes, of course. Muscles like that take some upkeep.

Do you want to get a drink with me tonight?

Yeah. Yeah, sure. I don't have anything better to do, so why not?

Great. I'll see you at Stella Maris at sunset.

Unless you have something better to do.

Okay.

No. No cute dress.

I didn't pack a single cute dress?

Oh, my God. I think I have all my socks.

Got to find a dress.

Thank you.

We knocked on your door several times, I can't believe you're missing this.

I know, Dad. I'm sorry. It's just... You know, my stomach, it's going crazy.

Look, we'll come back right away with saltines and ginger ale.

No, stay put. I'm fine.

Don't be a hero, sweetie.

Dad, trust me, you don't want to be a part of this.

Wait...

Darling, at least you'll look thin on the beach.

- You sure you're gonna be all right? - Yes.

You and Mom go. Have fun without me.

You're gonna find the perfect guy. Someone who is good and decent and kind.

And doesn't have a dishonest bone in his body.

Oh, God!

You picked a perfect table.

Please.

I had to atone for being late.

Too bad I hate champagne.

- I'm sorry. Please. Just go. - I was joking. It was a joke.

That was a joke.

I am a dating robot sent here to observe your ways.

You just pulled a robot voice.

I don't know.

All right, don't worry.

There's a certain segment of the population that goes over big for that sort of thing.

Yeah, nerds. They're my bread and butter.

Yeah? How's that working out for you?

Oh, God. Shit!

This isn't at all what I wanted.

- How about you? - I don't know.

What do we... Are you all right?

- All I wanted was a baked potato. - Okay.

Hi.

Are you on the lam?

You see that guy over by the menus? Freakishly tall, excellent mustache.

- Okay. - No.

I do need to sit down somewhere.

That is a gorgeous mustache.

Well, he...

He's a Russian diplomat.

Also kind of a pervert.

Sat next to him on the plane. Got a little grabby.

Really? Wait, wait, wait. Women don't like grabby?

That's... I'm gonna have to change my whole MO.

I also heard him in the hotel trying to get the room next to mine.

- It's just kind of weird. - Well, I hope you switched rooms.

Oh, no, no. No, I like to live on the edge.

Dangerous weirdoes, spicy food.

Bungee jumping...

I'll give you dangerous weirdoes and spicy foods,

but bungee jumping

I mean, it's almost never sexy to puke in public.

- That's what I said. - Really?

Yeah.

I mean, it's really nice down here and all, but my bet is that they're gone.

- So shall we? - Sure. Okay.

So, should we order?

You know what? Let's get out of here.

The service is awful, and I need to show you Nice.

You realize I'm going to make you tell me your whole life story.

Trust me, it's boring.

- Want some of mine? - Oh, no, no.

Actually, I really don't drink that much. I should slow down.

- What do you do? - Me?

Consulting. I'm a consultant. For a company. Company consulting.

Lately we've been doing a lot of downsizing. I travel a lot.

Downsizing people.

Well, if you could do anything, you know, anything in the world, what would you do?

I just think it would be nice to put down some roots, you know?

I've actually always wanted to know my neighbors.

I've never had that before.

- That's actually pretty beautiful. - You're pretty beautiful.

- It's the dress. - It's not the dress.

You'd be beautiful without the dress.

Not that I'm visualizing you naked. Although I'm sure you would look...

I'm saying that you would be beautiful clothed differently, as well.

Yeah. Thank you. I do need another.

- Why don't I get you another. - Okay.

- Don't leave. - All right.

Stay put.

Okay, fine. I will dance with you.

I'm sorry, what?

You almost ripped out of your dress to try to seduce me.

- It worked. Come. - No, I was...

- We dance. - Okay, maybe just for a minute.

Wow, you a very enthusiastic dancer.

Oh, God.

This is very nice, but I should really get back to my date.

- Now I blow your mind. Don't move. - Now you're gonna blow my mind?

- Okay. Oh, God. I think I felt something. - Excuse me.

- I'm gonna cut in here. - Back off, Yankee.

- Go find your own prostitute. - No. No, you're misunderstanding.

I'm sorry, I am not...

- Does this dress say "prostitute"? - No.

It's not, really. It's just, it's maybe...

- Wait. Just Jen. - Yes.

- Just Jen. - Yes.

There's something that I've been wanting to do all night.

- Your tag was still on. - Oh, no!

- I'm sorry. - No. No, no, no.

- It's okay. It's okay. - Oh, God. No, it's...

I can't afford this dress.

I left the tag on 'cause I can't afford it, not unless my father buys it for me,

which he wouldn't, 'cause he's not here.

- It's okay. It's fine. - Oh, God.

- Are you okay? - No, I can't breathe. It's so tight.

God, you know what? I'm sorry. I can't keep this up. lam not this girl.

I'm not spontaneous. I never drink this much.

And I don't live on the edge. I live a very quiet, normal life.

I would like a normal life. I'd kill for a normal life.

Well, it gets worse. Just...

You know that guy at the restaurant with the mustache?

- The Russian pervert. - That's my dad.

- Wow. - Yeah.