A Fairly Odd Christmas

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SANTA! SANTA! SANTA! SANTA!

SANTA! SANTA! SANTA! SANTA!

LADIES AND GENTLE ELVES,

MAY I INTRODUCE THE HOLLY-EST, THE JOLLIEST,

THE BELLYFUL-OF-JELLY-EST,

YOUR SANTA CLAUS!

HO, HO, HO, HO!

HO, HO, HO, HO, HO!

HO, HO, HO!

I LOVE YOU, SANTA!

HOLD IT DOWN, PEOPLE.

HOLD IT DOWN.

HO, HO!

CHRISTMAS CAROL.

HERE, SIR.

SEND IN THE CHRISTMAS LISTS.

LISTS! LISTS! LISTS!

BRING IN THE NICE LIST.

- I PRESENT TO YOU THE NICE LIST!

BRING IN THE NAUGHTY LIST.

OH.

ELMER THE ELDER ELF,

KEEPER OF THE NAUGHTY LIST.

SURE GLAD WE ONLY SEE HIM ONCE A YEAR.

- MM-HMM. - MM-HMM.

THANK YOU...

- - ELMER.

SIR,

NICE...

AND NAUGHTY.

THANK YOU.

A LOT OF FAMILIAR NAMES ON HERE.

SOME PEOPLE NEVER LEARN.

I GUESS THEY'RE GETTING COAL AGAIN THIS CHRISTMAS.

BUT ENOUGH NEGATIVITY.

NOW, LET'S SEE ALL THE BOYS AND GIRLS

WHO WILL BE GETTING

THEIR CHRISTMAS WISHES THIS YEAR.

HO, HO, HO, HO, HO, HO!

HO, HO, HO, HO, HO, HO!

HUH?

CHRISTMAS CAROL.

YES, YOUR JOLLINESS?

W-W-WHAT'S GOING ON?

WHO GAVE ALBERT HIS PIANO,

AND WHO GAVE JANE HER COOKING SET?

WHO'S MESSING

WITH MY CHRISTMAS LIST?

WHOO-HOO!

YEAH!

BEST DAY EVER.

WISHFUL THINKING IS ON A ROLL.

3,000 WISHES GRANTED TODAY.

STRANGE.

EVER SINCE POOF SAID HIS FIRST WORDS,

HE'S NEVER BEEN ABLE TO SAY ANOTHER.

- MAYBE HE JUST HASN'T FOUND HIS TRUE VOICE YET.

- I'VE BEEN TOLD MY VOICE IS KIND OF IRRITATING.

OF COURSE, I DON'T BELIEVE IT.

WHAT DO YOU THINK, WANDA?

- OH! -

OKAY, GUYS.

TIME TO GRANT MORE WISHES.

WE'RE GOING IN.

fairies: LET'S DO IT!

WHOO, WHOO!

DE NADA!

JUST A COUPLE MORE.

I WISH I HAD A REAL TRUCK.

YOU GOT IT, KID.

AWESOME!

YAHOO!

MM, JAPAN.

DOWNTOWN, BABY.

WHAT A GREAT WISH.

- FOLKS, I WISH I COULD SAY THIS TRAFFIC JAM WOULD CLEAR UP,

BUT--WAIT; IT JUST DID!

- I WISH THEY REMEMBER MY BIRTHDAY.

OOH, LA, LA!

YOU LOOK THIRSTY.

HAVE A DRINK, BIG GUY.

OH, THE LEANING TOWER OF PISA.

WITH EXTRA ANCHOVIES.

NOT A BAD MORNING.

I BET AFTER LUNCH, WE COULD GET A FEW THOUSAND MORE WISHES IN.

ON THIS TRIP ALONE, THAT MAKES...

UH, TIMMY, I THINK

WE'VE DEFINITELY REACHED OUR QUOTA.

- WOW. TOOTIE'S RIGHT.

OUR WANDS ARE GETTING A LITTLE OVERHEATED.

- I SMELL BACON. -

- HEY. LOOK DOWN THERE.

I SENSE A WISH COMING ON.

- - MAN.

COMMITTING CRIMES SURE IS HARD. - I KNOW.

I JUST WISH WE HAD THE GOODS RIGHT IN OUR HANDS.

both: GOOD THINGS DO HAPPEN TO BAD PEOPLE!

- I'M SURE THEY WEREN'T ACTUAL BURGLARS,

JUST BIG FANS OF BURGLAR FASHION, RIGHT?

- WHOEVER THEY WERE, THEY SURE WERE HAPPY.

- WHEE! - WHOA!

AH!

FALLING ORNAMENTS.

EITHER THE EARTH HAS BROKEN FROM ITS ORBIT

AND WE ARE HURTLING TOWARDS THE SUN,

OR THIS IS THE WORK OF TIMMY TURNER

AND HIS FAIRY GODPARENTS.

OH.

THERE'S TURNER NOW,

A 23-YEAR-OLD LIVING THE LIFE OF A CHILD.

WELL, BEWARE, TURNER.

AS A CHRISTMAS PRESENT, I'M GONNA GIVE YOU

A PIECE OF MY MIND!

- MERRY CHRISTMAS, MR. CROCKER.

- AH, BEGONE, STREET URCHINS.

YOU KNOW WHAT I SAY ABOUT CHRISTMAS.

BAH, HANDBAG.

DON'T YOU MEAN "BAH, HUMBUG"?

NO, I MEAN "BAH, HANDBAG."

THAT'S BECAUSE EVERY YEAR GROWING UP,

ALL MOTHER EVER GAVE ME FOR CHRISTMAS

WERE WOMEN'S HANDBAGS.

SHE ALWAYS KNEW I'D GIVE THEM BACK TO HER.

- WELL, THEN IT'S A GOOD THING SANTA BRINGS PRESENTS TOO.

- PRESENTS? WHAT PRESENTS?

ALL SANTA EVER GAVE ME FOR CHRISTMAS

WAS A LUMP OF COAL.

I'VE GOT SO MUCH OF IT,

I COULD POWER A SMALL NATION FOR SIX YEARS.

- SOUNDS LIKE SOMEONE MIGHT BE ON THE NAUGHTY LIST.

- WHAT'S THAT, SOME KIND OF BLOG?

- UH, NO, IT'S SOMETHING YOU DON'T WANT TO BE ON

IF YOU'RE EXPECTING PRESENTS.

- WELL, THEN I DEMAND TO BE TAKEN OFF

OF THIS NAUGHTY LIST IMMEDIATELY!

WHOM DO I SPEAK TO ABOUT THIS OUTRAGE?

UM, LAST I HEARD,

SANTA CLAUS KEEPS THE NAUGHTY LIST

AT THE NORTH POLE.

- MERRY CHRISTMAS. - MERRY CHRISTMAS.

- NORTH POLE? RIDICULOUS!

EVERYONE KNOWS THERE'S NO SUCH THING

AS THE NORTH POLE

OR POLAR BEARS.

- YOU KNOW, I HARDLY MISS MAKING WISHES FOR MYSELF.

I JUST LOVE GIVING.

LOVE, LOVE, LOVE. -

WELL, IT IS THE SEASON FOR IT.

OH, ISN'T THIS BEAUTIFUL?

I JUST LOVE THIS TIME OF THE YEAR.

DON'T YOU, TIMMY?

- OH, SURE. IT'S GREAT.

BUT WHEN YOU HAVE MAGICAL FAIRIES,

THE WHOLE YEAR'S A MAGICAL TIME, RIGHT?

- PARENTS! - AH!

- OOH.

both: HI, TIMMY.

HI, TOOTIE.

HEY, MOM AND DAD.

HI, MR. AND MRS. TURNER.

- OH, PLEASE. CALL US TIMMY'S PARENTS.

- JUST DON'T CALL US TO SAY THAT TIMMY'S MOVING BACK HOME.

- YEAH, RIGHT, 'CAUSE YOU'RE NOT, RIGHT?

RIGHT? NO!

NO, NO! NO!

YOU CAN'T.

WE'VE ALREADY TURNED YOUR ROOM

INTO A SECRET SPY CAVE.

- PLEASE DON'T TAKE AWAY OUR SECRET SPY CAVE.

RELAX, MOM AND DAD.

I'M NOT MOVING BACK HOME.

- OOH. - OH.

LET HEAVEN AND NATURE SING.

WHAT ARE YOU GUYS UP TO?

UH, DUH.

I'M DRESSED UP AS SANTA.

- AND SANTA'S LITTLE HELPER. -

VERY CHRISTMASSY.

IT'S CHRISTMAS?

- THIS YEAR, I'M ASKING SANTA

A NEW COMPUTER.

I WANT SOMETHING

A MAGICAL PONY WHO POOPS ICE CREAM,

THEN HE EATS THE ICE CREAM,

AND HE POOPS GOLD,

THEN HE EATS THE GOLD,

AND THEN HE POOPS OUT A MOTORCYCLE,

AND WE ALL RIDE AWAY.

BYE!