Secrets of Sugar Baby Dating

This programme contains some strong language.

What is it that you do, then?

I maintain a relationship with these men.

So it has all the elements of a normal relationship?

Yeah, just I'm being financially supported.

I'm Tiffany Sweeney, and I'm going to be stepping

into the world of sugar dating.

I'm putting myself out there for men to just look at me and decide

if they think they want to offer me something.

I go undercover and try sugar dating for myself...

..joining over 3.5 million people using sugar dating websites

here in the UK.

I'm scared.

So, uh, I'm just going to be like...

Sugar babies aim to find rich sugar daddies or mummas who'll give them

a monthly allowance.

They can receive thousands of pounds in cash,

as well as expensive gifts.

I think a lot of sugar babies desire name-brand products,

specifically luxurious brands such as Chanel.

But what are some sugar babies expected to give in return?

No, he just spelled it out.

He's just said "fucking in all its varied forms."

The websites say sugar dating is a way

to pay off debts and network.

Do you accept that you are facilitating sex for money

on your website? No, absolutely not.

But how easy is it to start sugar dating and end up in sex work?

You have all this money in your hand, and you just had sex

for 20 minutes.

For 20 minutes, why am I not going to do this again?

I feel like I've entered the world of sex work.

INTERCOM BUZZES

I was going to meet an 18-year-old sugar baby.

Hello. Hi, welcome. Hi. I'm Tiffany. Valentina.

Nice to meet you.

She goes by the name Valentina.

I've got quite a few friends here in London,

so it's good to make friends because it means you can crash

a little bit easier when you've been out partying and stuff.

She dates men for money.

At the moment, I'm meeting guys on a pay-per-meet basis,

we just go for dinner, that's it.

Call it a night. Dinner. Cocktails. Goodbye.

I ask for a sum of money for the date.

You know what I mean? It costs,

all the effort I've put in to get glammed up and stuff for him.

If I like him, we get along, maybe then he is a POT,

a potential sugar daddy.

Valentina currently has seven sugar daddies who give her a monthly

allowance, known in the sugar dating world as an arrangement.

Most of her sugar daddies are over 40,

more than twice her age.

I can never level with boys my age, because their motives

are different to mine.

They would rather sit at home and play Fifa.

Do the men like the fact that you're young, then?

Yeah, of course they do.

They don't want a woman that's going to come to them grumbling

with problems, with, you know, stresses of her life.

They want to meet a girl that brings and injects youthfulness back

into their lives.

You know some guys like the schoolgirl kind of fantasy.

So sometimes there is role playing involved. It's interesting sex.

It's not just...you know.

How do you feel when you do that?

When you dress up as a schoolgirl?

I enjoy it too. It's fun.

I act like a schoolgirl, you know.

I am a schoolgirl, I'm at college, but you know what I mean?

I was going to show you, actually, what I picked up the other day. OK.

It's just like a baby doll kind of... It's really cute.

My pyjamas don't look like this.

Valentina has been gifted lots of clothes by her sugar daddies.

This dress literally makes me feel a million dollars.

Sexy.

This one is a bit more out there.

This is what I tend to wear to the top clubs in London.

This is a Dsquared dress.

I was gifted it by one of my SDs.

It's got a mark on it from where I spilt a lot of alcohol

on it last night.

So, how much is this?

Expensive.

How expensive? Over the grand mark.

It was more or less just like a gift one day.

A pretty generous gift, isn't it? It's lovely. Yeah.

When I see something I like, I will gesture him,

I will touch him on the shoulder, make eye contact.

Everything that you do considered flirting,

I will make him associate shopping with sexual things, because men

are sexual creatures.

My relationships with these men are sexual.

I'm not going to lie about it. Of course I want to sleep with them.

Of course I want to rip their clothes off.

Just like any normal relationship.

Tonight, Valentina has a date with another potential sugar daddy.

You know, the average sugar baby takes, like, 3,000 a month

from one guy.

Are you the average sugar baby?

I don't know. Am I?

PHONE RINGS

Hello?

Oh, well, I'm just in the middle of something.

Can I call you back?

You OK? Yeah, I'm fine.

Thank you for asking.

Always.

OK, bye. Just a normal guy.

I just saw him at the casino, and he asked if I wanted a drink,

and I said OK. Do you want to be friends with him?

Yeah, maybe.

I don't know.

He's a lot older, and he's got a wife.

So that's also a massive no-go.

Valentina's favourite sugar daddy is 47.

She hopes to marry him when he retires.

I think he's really fit.

Yeah.

So how often do you see him a month, then?

Probably three times in a month.

Not a lot. So you only see him three times a month? Mm-hm.

And you're getting, roughly, I'm just going to gauge

about three grand, four grand?

You want me to not smile?

I was expecting you to say you see him, like, three or four

times a week. He's a busy guy.

That's a lot of money, isn't it?

PHONE RINGS

Hello?

How are you?

I'm going to have to call you back, is that OK?

OK, bye-bye.

Usually, generally talking for myself, I won't meet anyone

unless I've been speaking with them for weeks.

Some girls just do escorting, but they just sugar-coat it.

You know what I mean?

You're saying that they do sugar-coated sex work,

so what is it that you do, then?

I maintain a relationship with these men.

So, it has all the elements of a normal relationship?

Yeah, just I'm being financially supported.

That's literally it to a T.

Valentina is a fashion student.

Her goal is to find the right sugar daddies to help her build

her own brand.

For me, it's not about the money they're giving to me,

it's about how I use that money to make myself

financially independent.

OK, well, take care.

You too. It was lovely to meet you.

Have a good evening. You too.

Valentina had said that sugar dating was about creating

an emotional connection.

But for me, what she's doing - dating men for money -

seemed very close to sex work.

I can't believe how blase she is about it.

So, like, we've established that it's all the elements of, like,

a normal relationship, but it's just the fact that she has...

..they're paying her for her time.

But she says it so casually, and I'm like,

"That's the biggest thing!"

I want to be like, "Hello, they're paying you!"

Valentina had met most of the men she dates online.

Seeking Arrangement claims to be the world's largest

sugar dating website.

It even has its own Sugar Baby University page,

specifically aimed at students.

It says, "Join nearly half a million students in the UK who have turned

"to sugar daddies to avoid student debt and secure a better future."

To get their free premium membership, all you need

is a university e-mail address.

It says, on average, she would actually receive a monthly

allowance of £2,900 among other benefits.

And the benefits include networking opportunities,

career or business advantages.

This is opening you to a world of men.

They know that students are struggling.

With over half a million students sugar dating in the UK,

I want to find out what kind of support the universities

are offering.

Kent University agreed to talk to me.

Sugar dating website Seeking Arrangement claims

it has over 1,000 students signed up at this university,

the highest in the UK.

We're going to talk about class as we understand it,

and then we're going to talk about class as it is represented.

Caitlin is a lecturer in media and culture.

Through the Me Too movement, which has been a very powerful

movement, we have talked about women who don't want sex,

but we really don't want to talk about this grey area where women

are potentially exchanging sexual interactions for money.

And the problem with not talking about it is then we can't

support young people.

If we are not supporting them, we are not enabling good choices.

We are letting them down.

Sugar dating websites tend to claim that it's all above board,

but not a lot of information is provided on these sites.

We don't hold them accountable in any way.

This is why we see specific targeting of young people.