Joséphine en tournée

"Joséphine on Tour" or "The Comedy of Actors"

- Oh! - What is it?

- What does it say? - He's dead? Who's dead?

- What happened? - Fernand Billot.

- What about Fernand Billot? - Hold on, I'll read it to you.

"After its fantastic showing in Aigues-Mortes,

the Fernand Billot company will perform Molière

at the Saint Aphrodise in Béziers on the 11th.

Concessions for seniors and on presentation of a student card".

What did you say? Say it again.

What? Hold on...

"After its fantastic showing in Aigues-Mortes,

the Fernand Billot company will perform Molière

at the Saint Aphrodise in Béziers on the 11th.

- Molière! - "Concessions for seniors and students."

So. Let me tell you about this guy, he cracks me up.

You've never met a guy like this, he's got his head in the clouds.

These unbelievable things just keep happening to him.

The way this guy has made me laugh.

What sort of things?

- Give us an example? - He's worse than you. He's got you beat.

How's he got me beat? Cut it out.

Anything he tries ends in disaster.

Ah, now I've heard everything.

- Do you have a directory for Hérault? - If I find one, I'll bring it over.

So, to give you an idea of this guy, when I knew him, he had a song recital,

some cabaret singer, back when people were starting to get into one man shows.

Yes. All those one man shows, one woman shows.

One ma-cho.

He printed a poster to stick onto venues he wanted to play,

which said "Hot Canon".

H-O-T.

Since then, the name's stuck.

- No way. - Fernand Billot, the Hot Canon.

Come on, he did that on purpose.

He did say that he did it on purpose. But I'm convinced that's not the case.

In any case, it never worked.

He kept at it, and kept at it. One evening, he was in Tintamarre.

Ah, on rue des Lombards.

Right, on rue des Lombards.

He put together a group. At the time, he had a guitarist

who was even less with it than he was.

One day, as if by miracle, A full house!

So, we were waiting.

We waited and waited, and the guitarist never turned up.

We kept on waiting and the Hot Canon had to hand out refunds.

Oh, God.

The next day, he said, "You know, it's strange.

The night I get a full house my guitarist falls ill."

This guy just couldn't catch a break, I still laugh about it.

And now, he's doing Molière.

So, what's going to happen to him next? That's what I want to see.

That's a sign, you know. You should join forces.

Ha, no, no. Go easy on the team-ups.

I went to join up with Chantal, and there you have it.

Teaming up with a guy who's completely down on his luck,

Seeing everything he does go up in smoke? Why would I do that?

You're even colder than your sister.

You should team up because two negatives make a positive.

- Ah, right. - Yes, she's right.

I was first in my class at algebra.

Then I need to call the municipal hall at Aigues-Mortes myself

to see if the zebra is still in the enclosure.

There's no way you can miss the Fernand Billot company.

Anyone here?

It's a theater of ghosts.

You really have some great ideas, good job making us come down here.

I feel like tonight will be otherworldly.

Absolutely, I'll tell my aunt about it.

Incredible. It's like I've run into you.

It was great that we came down because here, we're putting on Molière.

It'll do you good to see some culture.

- Show Cancelled. - Another guitarist problem, I suppose.

How incredible!

And what an incredible show.

- The sets? - Oh, the actors!

Now I see why the others sent us to scout it out.

"Something not quite right in the Kingdom of Denmark."

"To be or not to be."

"To be or not to be."

"That is the question for the Billot Company."

- For the Billot company? - That's right.

Looks like a company of ghosts to me.

Oh!

And here's one of the ghosts.

Gentlemen, lady. What is it? You're here for the theater?

- There isn't one. - Why?

What do you mean, why? I don't know...

I'm the janitor for the municipal hall. I don't pay attention to the rest.

The city never asked me what I make of it. And good thing too!

One night, it's a theater, the next, a cinema,

during the day, it's high-class music, and at night it's Rock & Roll.

What they plan for never happens,

and what happens is never planned for.

It goes back and forth. It comes, it goes.

You get great people in and some real pieces of work.

You often even get crazy types, punks, and "eskinheads".

Do you mean eskimos?

No, no, "eskinheads".

- You've seen them! You mean you haven't? - No.

You have! People with shaved heads.

Sometimes with tufts of hair, like chickens.

The Billot company is like this. They're doing Molière.

Ah, the Bayou Company doing Molière? They've already gone.

- That must a Billot who's still there. - Help me!

If you're looking for info, go ask him.

Oh, help me!

I beg of you!

Do something!

Help me.

Are you part of the Billot Company?

I don't know why you're asking. Especially when you can't tell.

Don't say another word about the Fernand Billot Company.

I'm keeping the Fernand Billot Company afloat.

- Unhook him. - I've had it to here...

- Go get the barrel. - ...with the Fernand Billot Company!

Here, go ahead.

Get on.

No!

Don't move like that.

It's not stable.

What's this about?

Are you sure you'll be done by ten o'clock?

Time? Do you think I'm counting the hours, sir?

Do you know how much I have to do?

It's just because tomorrow at nine, we've got Super Bolt coming in.

Well, they can get stuffed if I'm not done!

I'm all by myself, doing the work of four people!

Don't move like that.

You got it?

Well...

I'll take down the set when your damn stage is gone.

I could have broken something falling off it.

Hold on, hold on, don't move.

I was just fine.

Get on.

Good thing the hook caught me during my fall.

I'm so angry, I don't know what I'm doing anymore.

I get it.

Hold on.

- Here. - Don't worry.

No, not this again.

I'm not the one you should be climbing on.

There.

Go on, go on.

Hold on... Whatever it takes.

Go help.

- Yes, but... - You okay?

No.

I need to get up there to clean out the dressing rooms.

And that, that's apocalyptic.

With the racks and the bags going missing,

it's no longer a changing room,

it's a...

battleground, a desolation.

It's no longer a costume store, it's a junk stall.

Like in Romainville, at the flea market.

Addis-Ababa.

And in this limbo, fitted doublets, halberds, thigh boots,

ankle boots, underpants...

petticoats, ostrich feather caps!

You can make remarkable discoveries.

For instance, a packet of peanuts,

three filthy rags, one chocolate-stained,

four kilos of cigarette butts,

a packet of chips,

three rock-hard taffy sticks with salted peanuts!

It's crazy how monkeys can throw back peanuts.

In a half-dozen penises or clodhoppers,

the ladies strike the earth in various mismatched shoes.

Two packets of peanuts.

Not to mention the incredible collection of disgusting underwear

livened up with some skimpy panties

that have never seen an automatic washing machine in their life.

And to finish, a packet of chips.

Oh, didn't they leave a bar of chocolate?

I'm feeling a bit peckish.

If you want them, there's still the peanuts.

Salted or candied?

I'll check the pantry.

In 1990, we no longer feast on the written form, but peanuts.

There aren't any.

Pirouette, peanut.

Well, let's not get down.

I still have the electrical equipment to take out,

bring the canvas down, roll it up,

put the baskets in the changing rooms,

pick up everything in there,

bring the same baskets back, finish breaking down the set,

and bring all that to the truck which is parked 200 meters away.

You can say that it's barely anything,

but I need to finish before tonight,

otherwise the punks and the goths

Zulus and Ostrogoths will throw

this beautiful set,

which took so much effort to make, into the landfill!

But where's Fernand Billot?

He's hiding.

Why is he hiding?

That's asking too much of me. It's complicated.