Love, Honour and Obey

- Like to join us for a drink? - Sorry, mates, I'm busy.

Tell me about your character, 'cause I am your biggest fan.

I'm busy. I'm waiting for someone.

When you stage kiss, do you use tongues or no tongues?

Look, you.

I'm only having a joke!

Oh, look, my boyfriend's here.

Oh, Mr. Kreed, hi.

Hello, son.

- Hello, baby. - Hello.

What are you doing out here?

They threw me out because of my mobile phone.

Don't stand out here. How many times have told you

- it's full of scumbags? - Sorry.

Come over here. I want to talk for a moment.

What?

I've got something for you. Here.

- What's this? - Well, it's a present.

Baby.

- What are you trying to say? - What do you think?

- Go on, say it. - Yes, or no?

Do you want me to marry you? Say it, come on.

Yes, or no?

What do you mean? Are you asking me to marry you?

- Yes, or no? - Babe!

I've got a bit of business now. I'll be home about 11:00.

I'll see you at home. I won't be late.

Aren't we even gonna have a glass of champagne together?

Tonight I will. I've just gotta go.

- What are you doing? - I love you to bits.

Don't hang around here, they're all scumbags.

"Sleep like a baby."

"My little lady."

"Dream till the sunrise."

"Creeps into your eyes."

"Dream till the sunrise."

"Turns on the day."

"In the avenues and alleyways."

"While you sleep there's a whole world coming alive."

"Abel and his brother."

"Fighting one another."

"In and out of every dive."

"In the avenues and alleyways."

"Where the strong and the quick alone can survive."

"Look around the jungle."

"See the rough and tumble."

"Listen to the squealer cry."

"Then a little later."

"In the morning paper."

"Read about the way he died."

When I was a child I was terrified of insects.

Horrible, crawling, foul things, especially flies.

But my best friend, Jude, taught me how to conquer this fear.

First we caught them, then we touched them.

And before long, we could hold them, even pull their wings off.

Jude explained it wasn't an act of cruelty, it was an act of discipline.

When I pulled those wings off, I realized he was right.

He showed me you can gain strength through violence.

And with power and control you can do anything.

Jude's uncle was Ray Kreed.

He taught him to never back down.

Always look them in the eye and keep going until you've won.

So as things turned out, Jude became a somebody.

And me, I became a courier.

See, the thing is, another 10 stretch, right,

you could be trainee supervisor.

I can get you right under my wing.

Another five years on from then... who knows?

You could be sitting where I'm sitting, doing what I'm doing.

What you gotta do... look at me when I'm talking to you, Jon,

because I mean this. This is coming from the heart.

What I'm telling you... it's not just something that comes up.

It takes years of experience.

In 20 years, you're going to be sitting here

telling some young pup the same thing.

I made a decision to get out of my rut.

It's funny, isn't it, how everyone wants to be somebody else?

So, what do you think? I mean...

I don't know, mate, 20 years. You know, I love you, but no.

My friends are my friends and my family is my business

and I never mix them, I never have.

I know, and I've never asked you about this...

You've never asked me because that's always been the case.

Exactly, and I know I didn't want to encroach on that side of your life,

but I think, I honestly think that this would work.

And I think if you gave me a chance to put it to your uncle

then he'd go for it, I do.

When I looked at Jude I realized what a rut I was in.

He'd gone to the best schools.

He worked for his uncle, the biggest gangster in London.

He had a life.

Me?

I was in hell.

First time I saw him, there he was, you know, London's biggest gangster,

singing on his karaoke.

Well, that's another thing about gangsters, we're all performers.

"Oh, yeah, come on, people."

"Oh, yeah."

"If they tell me of a pie up in the sky."

"Waiting for me when I die."

"But between the day you're born and when you die."

"You never seem to hear even no cry."

"So as sure as the sun will shine"

"I'm gonna get my share, what's mine."

"And then the harder they come..."

- Hey, how are you? - All right. Who's your mate?

That's Jon.

His hair's a bit short.

Anyone told you you look like "Data" out of "Star Trek"?

Very sharp. He's sharp, ain't he?

Does he want to go in? He does though, doesn't he?

"Oppressors are trying to keep me down."

"Trying to drag me underground."

"And they think they got this battle won..."

I was pulling me plum under the sink and she walked in and caught me.

So since that day I couldn't get it up.

That's what it is, then. It's a guilt trip, ain't it?

Well, she caught you... having a Jodrell...

Now you've got all guilt on your hands.

I know. It's very embarrassing. I was embarrassed.

"...the harder they fall one and all..."

Two pints and a packet of salted nuts for me. Cheers.

Where is he?

- That's him. - " Here we go, big boy..."

- What, singing? - Yeah.

- " Come on, people..." - He's pretty good, isn't he?

- Yeah. When can I talk to him? - After the singing.

"Gonna keep on fighting for the things I want..."

After the entire karaoke. Nothing comes before karaoke.

All right.

There's only two things that have scared me in life:

Flies... and Ray.

Well, I mean, it's quite simple really, 'cause I work as a courier.

We have access to a lot of credit cards.

That's what I've mostly been delivering these days.

They come through all the time, so obviously, we can get to the cards.

Now, there is a risk of someone cottoning on,

getting a pinch, but I'm prepared to take that risk.

Also, we can remove the cards from the packages,

deliver the packages intact, and still get the...

Yeah, I know how it works.

Come here, Jude.

Jonny Crow?

He's a bit soft on the family. He's well impressed by it.

I want to give him this chance. I need this chance.

Look, if he gets nicked and it comes back on us,

they start meddling themselves in our business. All right?

Now, he ain't family.

I love you, like my son... I don't know him.

I know you don't. You gotta take that from me.

20 years I have known him... nearly 20 years!

Do you remember that odd woman my mom used to know?

You want this, don't you?

Yeah, I do.

He's your responsibility. You gotta keep an eye on him.

I want to.

- All right. Come on. - Wicked.

You mean to say you haven't had a hard-on in four months?

- Yeah. - You're joking?

I'm not joking. It's not funny, is it?

Your pecker's gonna heal up, if you don't get something done.

I know, but I can't understand it.

Before that we had an active sex life.

I was giving it to her at least three times a month.

Three times a month?

I do it three times a night now.

Oh, don't tell me that!

How long have I been with Maureen? Four, five years,

and I do it three times a night now.

When we started, we were doing it six, seven times...

Oh, I don't want to hear that, thank you very much.

That was in an hour!

I thought you'd help me out somehow.

I can't feel anything down there.

It's like the devil possessed it and took it away.

I'll see you tomorrow.

All right, mate, see you later.

- See you later. - Bye, "Mr. Kray."

- All right? - Yeah, you did well.

You're not in the gang yet, though.

"Yeah, I feel like a force of nature."

Hello, baby.

"Could make you sing like a bird released."

"If what you seek is the wise man's treasure."

"You know it's buried beneath your feet."

"You know you look like a faded picture"

"I see the cracks..."

Sshhh!

I'm falling in love with you, too.

- Can I kiss you, darling? - Kiss me.

Your breath is so sweet.

And... cut.

I told you no tongue, didn't I?

Marvelous. Super.

Exactly the sort of love bunnies I was looking for.

Just one thing...

I thought you said he was a back door merchant?

- It's a fucking screen kiss. - You help them when they're busy?

- Oh, shut up. - A "screen kiss"?

Your tongue's halfway down his throat!