The Ren & Stimpy Show

My dream has finally come true.

Boot camp.

Say, now this isn't bad.

A dry bunk,

and all the creamed chipped beef we can eat.

Stimpy, this is the good life.

We-he-hell, looky here, ladies.

We got us a couple of new recruits.

Cadet Stimpson J. Cat reporting for duty, sir.

Okay, okay, cut the crap.

When do we have chow ? I'm starved.

Looks like we got us a couple of live ones here.

Yep, we's gonna get real close and buddy-like.

Just like one big happy family.

But first, you gotta pass a few tests.

Tests ?

Ya gotta earn some badges !

Badges ?

Lots of merit badges !

Then maybe, just maybe !

You'll be one of us.

So you think you ladies got the gall

to earn your first badge ?

Are you tough enough to sell...

barrette beret girl cookies ?

Oh, Ren,

it's beautiful.

Every spring, barrette beret girls worldwide

haunt store fronts and parking lots

to sell their honey charges.

And as a reward, you get

'til midnight to sell all them cookies,

or pay the penalties !

Oh, boy, Ren !

Ahhg !

Why do the new girls always get the worst territory ?

We'll never sell any cookies way out here.

Ren, I'm hungry.

I gotta have some food.

Here, eat some of your stinky old cookies.

Oh, no, Ren.

A barrette beret girl must never taste

of her own cookies.

I, Stimpson J. Cat, promise that-- ugh.

Aah ! Aah !

Cookies, huh ?

Okay, gimme a box.

Here's 5 bucks.

No, wait, Ren.

Remember, we ate all the cook--

shut up.

Heh heh heh.

What are we going to do ?

We can't sell empty boxes.

This is your fault, you stupid, fat sow.

Here, big boy, gnaw on this.

Wait, Ren, we can fill the boxes with cactuses.

They're delicious.

I'll take all you got.

Thanks a lot.

Yeah, yeah, goodbye.

Man, who would have ever thought

that being a woman would be so profitable ?

Okay, try and beat this:

four cowboys.

Read 'em and weep.

Oh, darn, all I got is

four aces.

Oh, shoot, me, too.

Did you have fun playing with the other girls ?

Yeah, sure, I had fistloads of fun,

being swindled out of all our cookie money !