The Wrong Nanny

You know, people pay me a lot to hack into things.

Face and Friends usually isn't at the top of the list.

I mean, why are you so interested in some boring

random ass housewife anyway?

She's not boring, she's perfect.

Yeah, sure.

Whatever.

Look, I'll send you the login information.

That'll be 500 bucks.

Pleasure doing business with ya.

If you need to Faces and Friend stalk

any other strangers, you got my number.

Stella Armstrong is not a stranger.

Uh... Stay here, I'll be right back.

What're you doing?

I wanted to tell you, I found my real mom.

You gotta stop this.

I thought you would care. You said you loved me.

- You're too clingy. - I miss you, Oliver.

You take everything too far.

You're too... much.

- I could do better. - I need my space.

Yeah, you really need to back off.

You need your space, huh?

Well, how come you already have a new girlfriend?

This isn't cool, Blake. We're over.

- Done. - I'm sorry.

Please don't leave me. Please!

Now, wait a minute. There's more back there.

What do you think?

Me? You?

Little bit.

What do you think?

I think it was good

the second time you wiped it down.

Hey. When'd you get home?

A few minutes ago, long enough to wonder if the boys

have officially driven you insane.

No, no, no, not the boys. No.

That's right, that's right.

The big charity event meeting

is tonight, right?

You feel good? Are you ready?

No, no, no. I mean, convincing the yoga pants posse

to raise money for charity is not gonna be easy.

Well, just be honest. I mean, tell them this town

doesn't need another replica canyon or a grandstand.

Oh, honey, why don't you try to tell them?

I mean, come on, we've been here for what

almost a year?

And they still treat me like an outsider.

Listen, I know you can do this. Think about your mom.

I do. Every day.

It's just... Queen bee Meredith, she's intimidating.

Well, you're intimidating.

- Right. - Smart, sexy, amazing.

- I can't stand up to her. - Then go around her.

Huh! Oye! Ha!

What do you think these are for?

Oh, really? Oh, okay. Hey, hey, buddy.

Come to dada.

So... What I figured

from the last meeting...

It's okay, I'll be right there.

Maybe half of the women will side with me

or rather against Meredith.

The deciding vote is gonna be this woman

who's fairly new to the group.

And she loves my brownies.

Well, I love your brownies. Let me get a little piece.

Hey!

How do you think I got you to propose?

Oh, okay.

Well, it was that, and your body.

- How you doin', sweet pea? - I know.

If it weren't for William Spry, our founder

we would be living somewhere in Rockland.

I mean, could you imagine?

So, I think it's about time that we erect a statue

to honor our beloved founder.

So, if there aren't any other fundraising proposals

let's put it to a vote, and make it official.

Um, actually I have

something I'd like to propose.

Stella, you haven't had a definitive opinion

on anything this whole year

and now you have a proposal.

I can't wait to hear it.

Um... There is a pancreatic c-cancer research fund

that I've looked into, and I think

that they would appreciate

anything that we could raise.

Well, any charity would appreciate

a very sizable donation.

What makes this fund worthy of our focus?

My mother died of pancreatic cancer.

Fine.

We have Stella's suggestion, and we have mine.

So, let's put it to a vote.

All in favor of the statue.

And of cancer research.

Georgia.

Georgia.

Georgia!

It's up to you.

Who are you vot...

Do you even know what it takes

to put together an event of this magnitude?

I don't even know if we're gonna be able

to find a venue this late in the season.

And I don't want to burden you with that much work

so, I was hoping that I could take point on the planning.

Have you ever planned an event like this before?

No. No, I haven't.

But I was thinking we could just have it at my house.

Oh. Oh... Stella.

I just... I just think that your house

is maybe a little bit, uh...

underwhelming.

Um... I-I think it can work.

Okay. Senators, judges

members of Fortune 500 companies attend our soirees.

And we depend on them to keep on coming back

year after year after year and open up their wallets.

I mean, we cannot afford to embarrass ourselves.

I agree.

Which is why I will drop a proposal for you to look at.

You can come by the house at the end of the week

to evaluate it, and if you still think it's not gonna work

we can come up with other options.

Fine.

I will be by at the end of the week to evaluate

whatever proposal you can manage to scramble together.

Okay?

"Fellow mommies busy looking for help."

Hm.

- Hey! Have a good night. - Thanks. You, too.

Oh, don't forget, you're opening up in the morning.

Yes, first thing tomorrow. Bright and early. I can't wait.

Bye.

Hey. Blake, right?

I just wanna make sure we're cool. I don't want any trouble.

Oh, yeah, of course not. Nobody wants any trouble.

Just like no one wants to lose the love of their life.

Whatever happened between you and Oliver, I'm out of it.

I'll stay away from you, you stay away from me.

Believe me, Kristen, I've not given you another thought.

I'm just here for the Wi-Fi.

Oh. It is nice to see some friendly faces.

- Mm-hmm. - Mm-hmm.

Hello, baby.

And where is this guy's slightly younger brother?

Oh, Andy went down without a problem

but this little guy...

Did you drive around the block?

Yes, we drove around for like 45 minutes.

He's basically been crying the whole time you've been gone.

- Aw! Let me see. - Okay, go to mommy.

Come here, munchkin.

Maybe mommy's good news will, woo, make you feel better. Hm?

So... Guess who's plannin'

Westport Society's next charity event.

- You got it? That's great. - Totally nailed it.

You know, you're gonna be amazing.

Well, Meredith thinks otherwise

but I'm gonna try to prove her wrong.

You know, there's one...

Actually I think there are two little problems.

How're you gonna plan this event when you're, you're busy

with these two little boys?

- Wait, we have two boys? - Hmm.

Did I tell you I love your sarcasm?

Mm. Yeah.

What am I gonna do?

You know, it's not insurmountable.

I know you don't wanna hear this, but maybe we can

just revisit the whole nanny conversation.

Oh, no, no, no. I-I'm not gonna let a stranger raise our kids.

They're not raising, they're helping out.

Look, I just want you to have the time and the energy

to do the best event you can, and-and to do that

you're gonna need some help with the boys.

Uh, see, Andy agrees with me.

Oh.

Okay, if I say yes

are you gonna get all smug?

Absolutely.

In that case, you get to change Andy

while I put the word out on Face and Friends.

I'd like blonde, Swedish.

I'll make sure he is.

Did you hear what mommy did to me?

She turned it around.

Oh, my God!

Wow.

It looks like you're gonna have to call a cab.

What the hell is wrong with you?