Red Christmas

Abortion is part of a huge issue on both sides.

Followers of the Lord of Love, How can we call ourselves Christians, when we are

murdering two million babies, every single year?!

When you look at an abortion procedure, there are no arguments, you are

terminating a human life.

Once the sperm and the egg meet, you now have a developing human being.

I think, women that allow themselves to be used by men and then go to an abortion clinic

are absolutely insane!

We are warned by Christ's maxim in the gospel, that those who live by violence will

perish by violence!

Where is the mentality? They've been seduced by Satan, into this mentality of killing

our children first of all, then killing our handicapped and our old people.

You wonder, why Christian fathers get angry, you wonder why we get upset!

We've got to make sure, we keep abortion safe and legal for women!

At around 10am on December thirtieth, a Friday morning, I was in pre-term, in the stock

room, when suddenly I heard a loud explosion, followed by shrill high-pitched screams.

God's word is supreme, before I formed you in the womb, I knew you.

Before you were born, I set you apart! My focus, is on his word!

Not opinion polls, not focus groups, but his word-

Scott! Ginny! Come and grab some breakfast!

Huh, I think we need a bigger bowl.

Ironically, now we need a smaller bowl.

Watch your feet buddy.

Yes Mother.

Did you lock the legs?

Yes Mother dear.

Uh-huh, sure you did.

Now, now, now, mother.

You should know that I've put this table up many times without locking in the legs.

And it just magically stood up by itself?

No faith, no honesty, no trust, in men.

Oh Christ.

All perjured, all forsworn, all nought, all dissemblers.

Hey Shakespeare.

- Oh, Romeo and Juliet. - Mmm, I love you.

I love you.

Go make the egg nog.

Uhhh...

Ohhh. Where are Peter and Suzy? I'm starving.

I want food.

Crikey! It's cold.

He who chops the wood, he warms himself twice.

Or herself.

Aaarrrgh Ginny, my favorite sister.

Jerry!

Hey!

Oh, Sorry. I mean.

Hope, is my favorite adopted sister.

Gee, thanks Jerry.

You know mom, there's only eight of us.

Don't worry babe, they're American servings.

And you're eating for two.

Yeah, two, not twenty!

Hey guys!

Oh Joe, where's the cranberry sauce?

They're here.

What took you so bloody long?

Heeeeeyyy!

Come on in, we've done this before.

Good to see you man.

Have a good trip?

Yeah, great, yeah.

Sooo, uh, come on in.

Mom's gone completely crazy, she's on a crusade to make this the best Christmas ever.

Oh, and you're going to love Hope's new art work.

Le Sex Tank...

Le Sex Tank, hah.

Actually the piece is called post-cringe.

Oh, well, it's delightful.

I don't get it.

Sorry.

Well done Hope. Well Done.

Dinner's in the oven, presents in fifteen minutes.

You know mom, we're in Australia, we should be eating prawns.

Whatever, its tradition, fifteen minutes.

Well, what are we supposed to do until then?

Clean the gutters.

Or we can play charades.

Or we could be in the laundry.

Or that!

I know, I know, I can do a recital!

No.

Jerry, No.

Oh crap! I forgot my bell!

What time'd your flight get in?

Padre.

What time'd your flight get in?

Oh, uh, we drove.

Yeah, uh, Suzy, gets anxiety, so we don't fly.

We left late last night. After the Christmas eve sermon.

Christ! Oh fuck sorry.

That's all right.

So you haven't slept, that's rough.

Is Hope no longer allergic to peanuts?

What?

Oh my God, Joe!

Get upstairs, wash now!

I didn't touch them.

I don't care, wash! Upstairs now!

Joe!

Damn it guys, come on!

Why can't the kid have a goodamn peanut?

Uh, you know she's allergic, Jerry must have put them out by mistake.

Sis, what doesn't kill you make's you stronger.

Yeah well it's not like dirt on her knee, these could literally kill her.

Literally?

Wow.

You're on the clock buddy.

Ha.

Uh.

Arrgh.

Arrgh.

Bother, I think I've just dropped my keys.

Sure, right.

You want an egg nog?

No. No thanks, I need my keys. I think, they're, um, upstairs.

Thought you just dropped them.

Yeah, upstairs.

Hey, padre! Come on!

Hey, padre! Come on!

Peter?

Peter?

Peter?

Peter?

Peter?

Suzy. You all right?

I have something I want to give you away from the others.

Sit down honey.

Thanks.

That's a lot of money.

I know how hard it can be, starting a family late in life.

I can't take this.

Oh honey, I'm selling the house, I'm not going to be around for very long.

Mom, don't say that.

Well actually I was referring to my trip to Europe, but thanks for the vote

of confidence.

You know what I mean.

Suzy, you deserve to be happy, you do, and I know fertility treatment isn't cheap.

God is all the treatment we need.

Well it's been six years, maybe, God wants you to have a helping hand.

You would make, such an awesome mother.

It's not that simple.

Well it can be, just take the money.

Okay, I've got to go check on the ham.

What the fuck is this?

Hey!

Excuse me, sir.

What the fuck is wrong with you boy?

Pardon?

What the fuck do you want?

And what the fuck are you supposed to be?

My name is Cletus and I'm looking for Mother's house.

You get the hell off of my property now!

I'm lost.

Mate, I don't give a shit. You get the fucken hell out of here you little freak!

Please...

Get the fuck out of here!

You're wrong boy!

You are fucken' wrong!

Our father in heaven, hallowed be your name.

No point praying to God, he ain't got time for the likes of you son!

Hallowed be your name. Your kingdom come, your will be done.

Reckon, I ought to put you out of your misery.

Reckon that's what God wants.

Oh... argh... Uh... no.... argh... errrr...

Uhhhhhhh!

Arrrrrghhhhh!

Arrrrrghhhhh!

It's time to open the presents, ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas everyone and to

all a very good night!

Hey Uncle Joe, it's time to open the presents.

Okay, bud.

Let's fucken do this.

Now where is Peter?

Just a minute!

Drum Roll! Bd-d-d-d-d-d-d-de! Mother!

Thank you sweetheart.

They said your stutter was getting better!

Shut up Joe!

Okay, this year I thought, before we opened presents it would be nice if we went around

and said what we're grateful for.

Wonderful.

Perhaps, Peter could lead us in a prayer.

This isn't a goddamn church. So...

Very nice Virginia, perhaps you could try setting a good example for your future child.

Well, how about you don't lecture me about parenting until you have a kid.

Uh, I would like to take a moment to pray to my personal God...

medical marijuana.

And Jerry's God-Fraiser.

No I hate Frasier, I worship the bard,

What a piece of work is a man?

And here I thought this would be so easy.

Okay, so I'll start...

I'm very grateful to have all my family here for Christmas.

Hope?

I'm grateful that I got an early acceptance into art school and that I don't have to spend

another minute in high school.

Very nice sweetheart. Scott?

I'm grateful that this year, I got to promote my profile for the World Health Organization.

I'm so sorry, I'm really... really sorry, but...