Community

Hey. Get out of my chair, or I'll have you disbarred.

Oh, wait. That already happened.

- Cash. - Tango.

My old partner in my new firm.

Does it get any better?

Not unless you leave.

Still got it.

So a little birdie told me

you're graduating kiddie college.

You must be excited to get that lollipop.

Hey. It's a sticker.

Ha.

I know you're busy, not, so allow me to whip it out.

Come work with me.

You'll be a full partner, six figures,

corner office, three secretaries.

What's that? Not enough money?

I'll double it. Bam, done.

That's how we negotiate. Lunch?

Wow. I drive a hard bargain.

But, mark, aren't you worried I'm a little out of practice?

The only cases I've tried lately are about sandwiches and yams.

Please, you were a better lawyer

when you weren't a lawyer

than most lawyers I know.

It's still in you.

I'll give it some thought.

Just shake my hand, idiot. It's simple.

I like simple.

Take a look around, Winger.

This is your new old life.

I don't get it.

We just had Christmas, and now it's warm outside.

Of course it is, dummy.

We just finished fall-spring semester.

Bring on summer-winter.

I can't wait.

My final film school class is just called opinions.

Professor Taylor is scheduled to teach,

but I have a rebuttal.

Lucky.

I transferred to forensics late and got the worst classes.

Skull fragment collection, advanced advanced decomp,

and intro to senselessness were all full.

I still have a year of A/C repair left.

I passed all my classes,

so now I just do yoga

while the teachers write down my wisdoms.

Wait a minute. Jeff passed history.

He's graduating early.

I'm totally unprepared to deal with this.

No, Annie, please, don't--

Well, it's official. It's on a banner.

Congratulations, Jeffrey.

You worked hard not to work hard

to earn that degree.

Yeah, you took so many blow-off classes

and pointless electives.

What did you end up majoring in?

Education.

You had to win, didn't you?

When I was inches from the finish line.

Pierce, you have so many credits,

they have grand-credits.

Just graduate already.

When's the graduation ceremony?

Never. It's community college.

You just send in some papers and they stop charging you.

It's moving, in its own way.

So this is it?

A banner and some soda Troy forgot to bring?

No.

As far as graduations go, it's boring but grounded.

I was hoping for more.

Can we at least walk with you to the Dean's office?

What, now? No.

I was just--I was going to mail it in next week,

or, you know, whenever.

Don't be silly.

We started as a study group,

we'll finish as a study group.

All for one, and one dude we can all leave behind.

Everybody, go quickly.

Go.

- Go, go, go, go, go, go. - Hey.

All right, Mr. Winger. Et al. Britta.

Emotions are running high,

so I will keep this tight and short.

You always do.

I see you have all the necessary paperwork.

Necessary? You asked for proof of inseam.

Ah, Jeffrey.

I'm going to miss our playful, "Get a room already" banter.

- Oh, Dean. - I can come back.

No, I can do this.

Just need to sign the old John Dean-cock

and you will be graduated.

So this is it?

- Mm-hmm. - Huh.

I, uh--I expected a little more pageantry.

I'm listening.

Annie's right.

We should throw a party to mark the occasion.

A small one.

The teensiest.

Just close friends, a small cake--

Maybe some flowers, an archway--

A string quartet.

Ooh, he could wear a suit.

Starting to sound like a wedding.

Not a wedding.

Just your average, low-key diploma signing,

to which you're all cordially invited,

tomorrow afternoon.

Tomorrow?

Is that enough time to plan a whole wedding?

- Absolutely. - I'll get my book.

Listen, I can't do a big party.

It's too much.

Oh, I see what's going on here.

This is about you getting cold feet about graduating.

Pshh, yeah.

I've been looking forward to graduation

since freshman registration.

I already got a job lined up

at my old partner's firm.

Well, then, let them eat cake.

It's just, I'm worried that the group might not be able

to handle it, you know, emotionally.

Everyone wants you to graduate, Jeff.

Well, what about Abed?

I mean, the stress of me leaving might send him spiraling.

Come on, give him some more credit.

He's really progressed since he opened up to my therapizing.

Do you remember last year, when he wouldn't stop

talking about that "darkest timeline" thing?

The one where I lost my arm?

And Pierce died, and Annie went insane,

and he blamed it all on you throwing some dice.

He has not brought that up in months.

You're right, Britta.

I just need to give Abed a chance.

Then it's settled.

The six of us will take astronomy next semester.

So now you're leaving me out.

No, we're leaving Jeff out.

So I'm not even the one who gets left out anymore.

Everything's Jeff, Jeff--

Jeff.

This seat taken?

So everyone still excited about the big shindig?

Totally.

I was worried about the wedding-graduation mash up,

but it's testing really well with women.

Oh, well, that's a load off.

Hey, we should probably figure out

who's bringing the soda now, right?

Just so there's not another hang up.

I brought it. I-I just drank it all.

It's okay. I've got it covered.

No, no, no. You've already done so much.

Besides, I think I have a fun and fair way

to decide which of the six of us will bring the soda.

We'll roll for it.

It didn't land on a number.

That probably means nothing.

- Or it means everything. - Let's hope not.

You know what, I'll bring the soda.

Don't worry, I'll make sure there aren't any more hang-ups.

Must I bear this cross forever?

I was hoping for more.

Catherine?

Do not even tell me you dropped that cake.

Parasites.

Hey. What's going on?

Why are you trying to avoid graduating?

I wish I knew.

I think it's because you're scared

to take this law job with your old partner.

But don't let that stop you from graduating.

Take the job, don't take the job.

Either way, your friends are always going

to be here to support you.

Good to know.

See you at graduation.

And they call us the worst.

Took you long enough.

Hey, nobody said you had to travel naked.

Oh. You brought the good one.

You hold that, I'll do the sleeve.

Wait for the click. There--

Ah. Good.

Middle finger works great now.

It's worse than I thought.

They made lame Jeff too lame to leave Greendale.

He's got to take that job.

But how do we make him do that?

By turning the study group against him

so he'll run screaming from this rancid cocoon