The Serpent Queen

Previously on The Serpent Queen...

I used to be just like you,

with nobody in the world to care about me.

If you learn to use your powers,

you will achieve greatness.

- How would you know? - I'm a fortune-teller.

My dear niece, your marriage has been arranged,

second son of the king of France.

Then something terrible happened.

I fell in love.

He's the best man I know.

And do you know what I learnt that day?

Never to trust a single soul.

I'm afraid I have bad news.

Your uncle, the pope...

Medici pig.

He's dead.

Don't you understand?

We will both be out unless you give Henri a son.

I must get pregnant.

I'll pay what's required.

With Ruggieri, there's always a price.

Find the man who killed my son!

Was it you or your dressmaker?

Someone's got to die.

- Please! -

Your new dauphine is with child.

When you find life conspiring against you,

you must find a way to change it to your favor.

- -

I tolerated the nights you spent together.

I am his wife!

I'm where I want to be.

You joust in the ceremonies today.

It would please me to see you as you were when we first met.

- -

Madame de Poitiers, the king is dead.

This is a family matter.

Your presence is no longer required.

My first order of business...

A decree that makes Protestantism

illegal on French soil.

Fuck off.

Banishment.

You fucking bitch!

I will wind her up and watch that silly girl burn

this country to the ground.

Do you have a plan?

Separate the king from Mary's influence.

I must ask you to reconsider

before we reach our destination.

Well, what happens at our destination, Mother?

- -

- An attack on the king! -

What is the fate of a young boy when the fate of a nation

hangs in the balance?

It is everything.

Fuck! You're fucking mental.

I'm not.

I'm just better at this than you are.

Tell me where to find Antoine.

Montmorency will be regent.

I cannot just be forced to sign away the regency

to whomever has the bigger gun.

I don't see why not.

- -

The boy, I had him sign over the regency

to someone capable of sacrificing their friends

and plotting with their enemies to rule France.

Why does it have to hurt so much?

I have something here that will take your pain away.

Give it to me, please.

And now you must rest.

And now I will leave you to live with your choices.

Hear ye! Hear ye!

Louis of Bourbon is pardoned for the crime of treason

by order of the new regent, Her Majesty, Queen Catherine.

I will write Queen Elizabeth in England.

And when she hears that some commoner

has stolen the throne of France,

she will be moved to help me.

Are you with me?

I am with you.

My cousin wrote to me saying that she

would help me in my time of need.

I'm sure you've been fooled

by a forgery, Your Majesty.

What?

I give you loyalty.

I imagine she realizes she cannot govern

without women like me on her side.

- Checkmate. - On the contrary.

I will spend the rest of my life

getting back at her for what she did to us.

Now she promises to make tolerance

the new law of the land

and break the treaty with the Holy Roman emperor.

Allow me.

Feels good to be bad, doesn't it?

They say that you get the life that you deserve.

But I say... fuck that.

Life is about what you are willing to do to survive.

And I am willing to do anything.

How about you?

I had been regent for more than ten years.

As my son the king was finally of age,

the royal family embarked on a grand tour of France...

- - Fuck off.

...to ensure the loyalty

of their subjects...

...most of whom were illiterate,

superstitious,

and increasingly disillusioned with the Catholic Church.

Higher.

Push, push, voilà.

Nothing like the grand tour

had ever been attempted.

I guess we're here.

Give me my shoes.

Looks like another shithole.

Hope they like jugglers.

It's time to play king, eh?

If only they knew you pissed the bed until you were 12.

- - Shut up, Hercule.

I don't understand why we all have to go.

You know the answer.

To bond the people to the royal family.

It's presumably so they don't want to kill us.

Of course, if they do want to kill us,

well, we won't know until it's too late.

His Royal Highness Charles IX, king of France,

has come to meet his subjects, the people of France,

along with Prince Alexandre Edouard,

the Duke of Anjou;

Prince Hercule;

and the Princesses Elisabeth and Margot.

How do I look?

What does it matter? They're peasants.

Has it ever occurred to you they're just like us,

only born in the wrong place?

Don't be stupid, Margot. They're nothing like us.

Yes, we were born to rule,

and they were born to serve.

Looks like it's showtime.

Look, the crown.

Dear subjects, it is my pleasure

to greet you in person.

Thank you for your fealty.

Maybe the children should return to the carriage.

Watch the robe. Oh, fuck!

- - Please!

That's far enough! Stay there!

- Quite close enough. - Stay back!

Not yet.

Back, I said! Get back!

- - Your Majesty.

Never underestimate the power of presentation.

- Pendulous. - Massive.

Hello, cousin.

Ah, heard you had a bit of trouble on the road.

Are you all right?

I was trampled to the ground by members of the public.

How do you think I am?

Crowd was passionate, I grant you.

They were fucking animals is what they were.

All part of God's flock, I'm sure you'll agree.

Ah.

Sorry we're late.

What did we miss?

Can I just say, unequivocally,

this grand tour, taking the king to the people,

this whole policy of tolerance has now gone too far.

It's a direct challenge to the order of things

and how they've always been.

It's a direct challenge to the Catholic Church

is what it is.

We don't expect you to be happy about that.

- Yeah. - Do you two idiots

have any idea how dangerous this is?