Girlfriends' Guide to Divorce

Previously on "Girlfriend's Guide to Divorce... "

In the spirit of radical honesty,

I am dedicated to truth from here on in.

Becca is pregnant.

I try to fix everybody else's stuff

cause I don't have the first clue to fix my own.

These belong Zooey.

She's gonna visit Frumpkis

and the Wicked Witch of the South.

I'm going to hate being with Dad and the fat head.

How do you know Dr. Harris?

He's like an Oprah doctor.

Today, I find out

that he knocked up his ex-girlfriend.

Good, I'm glad he finally

manned up and told you.

How long have you known Becca was pregnant?

About a month.

That is a huge omission.

Okay fine, it's my fault.

It kind of is.

_

So...

Right?

Yeah.

Right.

Lilly, will you please go get your brother?

You're late.

- Charlie, we're late! - _

That's not what I asked you to do.

Can you please go upstairs and get him?

Hi, sweetie.

Hi.

Hello.

I should've told you about Becca

as soon as I knew.

I am so sorry.

It's just old Jake.

Bad Jake.

Not bad.

No bad.

A little bit.

I just, um...

Look, I said some horrible things too

and, ah... I was upset, I could be very cutting.

No, no, I'm apologizing.

I am sorry.

I was wrong.

And you accepted my apology

and let's not...

Spend an hour revisiting

all the awful things we said to each other.

Yeah, that. Let's not do that one.

- We could make out instead. - That I like.

Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama!

Wow! Oh, my God, Charlie, slow down!

My butt is so itchy.

Hi, Dad!

Hi, itchy butt.

Go to the car please, I'll be right out.

What about my butt?

We'll get to it.

- Hurry! - Nobody cares about your butt.

Um, hey, I was thinking,

before Latvia,

maybe we should go up to that place in Ojai

for a weekend.

We can't fix this in a weekend.

No, of course we can't,

but look, I'm going to Latvia for four months.

You're gonna be going on glam dates

and writing a book about divorce.

The clock is ticking here, Abby.

Even if I wanted to

I have to work and you're prepping.

Always gonna be something though, no!

- Okay, hey! - I want to go away with you.

How about we hole up at home?

No kids. All weekend.

Oh.

Why does that seem naughty to me?

Because how many hours do you think

we get to spend in this house without kids.

I think zero, zero hours.

- None hours. - None hours.

Great!

And then we could, you know...

- What? Oh. - On the couch, in the pool,

in the garage and...

- Garage? Are you into that? - Not that we... I...

Not the garage, I'm just riffing on that idea.

You know what we do?

We send the kids with Ford

and Lilly can help him get the cousins.

- And no phones... - Yeah.

Cause if something goes on with the kids,

Ford can use the landline.

It's old school, it's analog.

I like it.

Analog!

Good.

Oh, got to take the kids.

Quickie in the garage?

- No. - Kidding.

Okay.

- Okay. - Tonight?

Tonight!

I'm so excited.

Can't wait, I love you.

I love you.

Girlfriends' Guide to Divorce - 02x04 - Rule 605- You Can Go Home Again

Oh no, no, no, this is cute.

Right?

This is really, really cute here.

Oh, my gosh, hi!

Hello.

Marria, this is Delia, my former divorce attorney and current good friend.

- Hello, nice to meet you. - Hello.

This is Marria, we were models and were roommates in Milan.

I thought I recognized your face.

Beauty.

I know, she actually kept working

and got really good gigs.

For a minute.

Now, I'm lucky if I book

the mom in a J. Crew catalog

because I'm like,

33.

Shh.

But that's why the Blue Robin campaign

is so empowering.

You have to do this with me, Phoebe.

I got a call today,

along with the beauty here,

to maybe be in this year's

all-natural gal campaign.

The all-natural woman at any age ads?

That's enormous!

Right?

So powerful, it's positive,

raw, real, minimal makeup, no Photoshop.

Terrifying.

Come on, you look amazing.

I don't know.

My modeling years were not the best memories.

And these are test shots, right?

So only one of us actually gets the job.

Come on, it'll be fun.

I'm with Marria, give it a shot.

Anyway I got to run, I'm going house hunting with Gordon

Oh, that's fun.

Enough of this wedding B.S.

Let's just, get on the real life, right?

Do it.

We on for dinner?

Oh yeah, you bet your fine ass we are.

- See you later. - Nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you too.

So is the food good at least?

Deep-fried NASCAR pickles or whatever.

I can't wait to come home tomorrow.

Charlene is the worst.

I hate her.

Oh, honey, I'm so sorry to hear that.

How's the paradise place?

It's great!

It's like we work for IBM in the '80s.

- Ew. - Kidding.

It's fun.

Ping-pong and a swimming pool,

and Uncle Jake lives in one of the lesser areas.

It's like the Paradiso ghetto.

I thought you hate Uncle Jake.

No it's good to keep your enemies where you can see them,

my little southern belle.

Well, I can see mine perfectly.

Ugh.

Hang in there, okay?

You're almost home.

I love you.

And here's your perfect kitchen.

Don't look at me, sweetie.

It's perfect for my chef.

Oh yes. of course.

Nice, nice home office for you.

Do we like?

We love.

Now, this is the 19th century configuration

of bedroom for each.

Each what?

Person.

Oh.

Huh, I didn't know that was a thing.

Oh, yes.

It's become popular. The...

"Downton Abbey" style.

But a lot of folks prefer the single.

No, I... I kind of love it.

I love the idea.

It's very regal.