The Simpsons

Ha-ha!

There's a cold spill on aisle three.

Whoa!

Ooh!

Ooh!

Mmm! Art.

What am I going to wear?

What am I going to wear?

Hmm. Too casual. Too dressy.

Too bangin'.

Not bangin' enough.

Maggie spit up on this one.

Homer spit up on this one.

Oh, my God.

Homie, it's 7:06.

Where's the sitter?

She'll be here, don't worry.

We're not gonna be late to our fun date night

with my work friends and their current lovers.

Okay, I'll be right down.

I still have to find something to wear.

The best part of being a man is not caring how you look and dying six years earlier.

So wait, you're really having date night at Clangerz?

That's a lame nostalgia bar for you voicemail-leaving dinosaurs.

Hey, how about a little respect?

Unlike you pasty Chalamets, my generation faced real challenges.

We stormed the beaches of MTV's spring break in Cancún

to taste test different sodas in the Cola Wars.

I chose Pepsi,

and I regret it every day of my life.

I give up.

Jean jacket.

It's 7:09.

Now the sitter's 03 minutes later.

Honey, no one's more excited than I am to meet up with Carl

and Naima and Lenny and whatever bizarre creature is crazy enough to date him.

You go on ahead. I'll wait here for the sitter.

Go without you?

But then I'd have to carry on a conversation with your work friends.

You'll do great. Just get Carl started on Bitcoin.

-You know all about crypto, right? -Superman's dog?

Okay, other good Lenny-Carl areas: If Squid Game was real,

CPAP cleaning hacks, and why the next James Bond should be Jason Kelce.

Okay, Marge, you can do this.

Just don't talk about money, politics, or sex.

Hey, Marge.

Republican tax cuts make me horny!

It's officially date night at Clangerz.

Hiya, Marge.

Hi, Lenny. And you must be Amy.

That's what it says on my Starbucks cup.

If I'm lucky. Most of the time it says "Arnie."

Coffee people do write the wrong name.

Once on my cup they wrote "Sarge."

I did an add-on. I'm fitting in.

Oh, where's that dirtbag teen I'm entrusting with my children?

Maybe if I pace faster, I--

- -Ooh! She's here!

Thanks, pacing.

Oh, thank God you're-- injured!

Don't stress. I'm good.

They gave me all the painkillers.

And I've got some extra for the kids.

Oh, we were making a jump-off-the-balcony video

when she fell off the balcony.

The TikTok of me landing on a cornhole board got a like from Josh Gad.

Oh, babe, you're so talented.

They call them boneless wings, but they're just tiny tenders.

Who do they think they're fooling?

Not Sarge.

- - "Sarge."

Callback.

This is such fun restaurant banter,

like the beginning of a sketch on Saturday Night Live

before all the wacky behavior ruins their nice evening.

Care for a free Aperol spritz

courtesy of me, Aperol Fritz?

-Yes! -Oh, yes, bring it on.

As God is my witness, I will find

-some sad loser to watch my kids. -

You have reached the mobile cellular device

of Principal Seymour Skinner.

Voicemail.

No, no, this is he speaking live.

Oh, my God, Skinner, you run a kid prison.

Come babysit my jerks.

My dad isn't talking to me, the yes-guy said no,

Mrs. Botz is still in jail, and Flanders is too busy working on his car.

Actually, my car's working on me.

There's a leaf spring in my kidney.

Well, take care of those organs. I might need them later.

Okily dokily, passing out now.

Come on, Skinner, I'll match your school salary.

What do you make, $5 an hour?

Mr. Simpson, I am an educator, not a babysitter.

I would never stoop that low.

Principal Sitter, wipe me!

I guess you're the babysitter, big boy.

I wanna hear three chapters of Anne of Green Gables

with authentic Prince Edward Island accents.

By the time I get to the restaurant,

all the dipping sauces will be full of nugget crumbs.

Who's gonna watch these kids?

Oh! What if the who was a what and the when was right in front of me?

Kids, meet your new babysitter: Mrs. Front Door Cam.

All you have to do is stay in this frame.

Daddy will be watching, even if he's driving,

and just to make sure Bart is a good little boy…

Get bent.

-I'm not some stupid dog. I'm-- -

Have a nice night. Daddy loves you.

Ah! Down, down, stay.

This might be a hot take, but I wish the Olympics were every week.

That's genius. No way you'd get bored of that.

It would bring the world together.

Goodbye, wars.

And the movie theater should tell you when the movie really starts,

not when the previews start.

-Yeah. -I agree wholeheartedly.

I love your hot takes, Marge. Keep 'em coming.

Okay, here's a scorcher: masking tape--

The real fun begins now!

-Homer! -Big guy!

-Hello. -Good to see you!

Homie, this is going great.

I don't know why I was worried I'd be bad at conversation.

Everything's flowing so freely, and--

Hey, that's great.

I got it from here.

So, work bros, I think Smitty cheated on his March Madness bracket.

He just wrote a U with a scribble,

so you can't tell if he's picking UConn or UTEP.

And I'm all like, "Which is it, Smitty?

Miners or Huskies?

Miners or Huskies?"

Homer, please, there's three other people here.

Right, right, right.

Who do you ladies like for WrestleMania this year?

So, Homer, the group was having a discussion

about things that interest all of us.

Amy found this amazing podcast

where comedians talk to each other for hours but don't tell any jokes.

In the latest one, Gabriel "Fluffy" Iglesias

talks about the bus crash that traumatized--

Cut that out and shut up!

When I leave you in porch jail, I expect you to sit there and be bored.

The sprinkler came on. What are we supposed to do?

Just stomp it back in the earth like everyone else.

Who are you talking to?

Um…

My crotchel area?

You left the kids unsupervised?

No, no, the doorbell's watching them. It's very responsible.

And I gave Lisa a brick to hit strangers with.

- It's heavy! -That means it's working.

I had to use rusty scissors to get the stupid shock collar off my neck.

You used my good rusty scissors?

They better still be rusty when I get home!

Sometimes I hate being married to you!

I shouldn't have raised my voice like that.

Just go home and take care of the kids.

One Centipede ?

Zero Centipedes ! Go!

Okay, okay, okay.

Sarge?

Oh, this night was going great,

and then you had to see that.

Sorry I made it so awkward.

No.

Not awkward.

Not awkward at all.

Here, have mine too. Double up.

Thanks.

I guess you noticed Homer isn't the perfect husband.

Please don't get me wrong. I love Homer dearly, but he's got flaws.

Crippling, unignorable flaws.

Sometimes I wish he was different,

a Homer who doesn't fold under pressure

and make terrible decisions,

someone who is bold and fearless.

Like, I don't know, a fighter pilot in that game.

If only, if only.

Woo-hoo!

I feel the need, the need to go really fast.

Primo ace top jet squadron, check in.

-Belch. -Quadball.

Open Sore.

Let's show this town a meaningless training flight they'll never forget.