The Over the Hill Gang

Get up, get up!

Ha!

Get up!

Get up now, get up, move along now, move along!

Get up there, now!

Get up there, move along, move along!

Whoa, whoa!

Welcome to Boulder, gents, welcome. Here you are.

Poker chips compliments of Mayor Nard Lundy.

Just waltz right over to the El Dorado Saloon

and ante yourself into a fortune.

Remember to vote.

It's Nard Lundy's town, let's keep it that way.

- Welcome to Boulder, sir. - Thank you, son.

There you are.

Compliments of the mayor.

Now why should the mayor give me free poker chips?

Election time's coming in two weeks.

Just the mayor's way of making sure

you remember his name come voting time.

Vote?

I can't vote.

I don't even live here.

I just came here to see my daughter and her husband.

Good!

You've got family here.

That's just the same as a resident.

Now don't forget to vote.

It's Nard Lundy!

Just like I always figured.

Jeff Rose is full of pickle juice.

I'm Captain Oren Hayes, late of the Texas Rangers.

That man you just shot full of holes

happens to be my son-in-law.

You tell me where I can find his newspaper office?

Yeah, around the corner there to the right.

Papa!

Captain Hayes!

Sweetheart, Jeff.

What are you doing so far from Texas?

Why didn't you let us know you were coming?

Well, I thought I'd surprise you.

I haven't seen you since you were married.

I've been retired from the Rangers now for some years.

And you got lonesome.

Well, a man just can't quit.

Can't sit around and listen to your arteries harden.

I want some action, travel.

Helps start the blood.

Well, we're real happy to see you.

And you stay as long as you please.

Thank you, Jeff, thank you.

Say, looks like you've got quite a business going here.

But, uh, tell me something, son,

what are whose wanted posters on you around town?

Oh, those aren't wanted posters, Papa.

Those are campaign posters.

Jeff is a candidate for mayor.

Well, the way they're shooting his picture full of holes,

I'd say you're not wanted.

Well, Mayor Lundy's a very clever opponent, Captain.

Owns most of this town

and runs it from his Helldorado Saloon.

Well, ha, ha, ha, Charlie, how are you?

You look wonderful.

Sheila, my dear, lovely as always. (laughs)

Well, how are you, Ed?

Fellow come in on the stage a couple of minutes ago Mayor.

Old fellow.

Says he used to be with the Texas Rangers.

And Jeff Rose is his son-in-law.

Well, if he's old, he shouldn't worry you, Clyde.

And if he doesn't live here, he can't vote for Jeff,

so he doesn't worry me.

Either of you seen this new edition of The Sentinel?

He's got your whole record in there.

Mine too.

Yours too, Clyde.

All the facts and figures, the dates, all the graphs,

the payoffs, all the illegal taxes.

Well, he says I ain't a proper judge.

He says I'm guilty of malfeasance, whatever that is.

It means you are a walking whiskey vat

and you bought your Justice of the Peace office years ago

from Charlie Reaves.

But I've still got my office.

Only because I keep you there.

Don't forget that, Your Honor.

Now why don't you just shut up, Amos?

You know, a smart man who's handy with words,

he's a tough opponent.

But when he starts to smear you with the truth,

he is deadly.

Yeah, yeah, but if this paper ever

gets to the Governor's office.

Get the boys altogether.

Round up every copy of this that's in circulation.

Buy them, steal them, take them, but get them.

Been telling you all along, Nard,

you give that newspaper fellow too much room.

Now the old ways got things done right.

Oh, no, no, no, no, Clyde, I'm not the sort of man

to use force when gentle persuasion will serve.

Why don't you get your deputies together

and pay yourself a little call on Mr. Rose, mm?

You sure raked this Lundy over the coals.

Well, if it's a battle he wants let's give it to him.

I'll pitch in and help.

Do me good.

Little action is what I need.

You here on law business, Sheriff?

No, we're just a bunch of plain citizens.

We've come to tell you that we don't hold with your brand

of mud-slinging, name-calling politics.

And we don't want you printing nothing more.

Nothing.

Now wait a minute, Sheriff.

You can't interfere with the freedom of the press.

You keep out of this you old moss-horn.

Moss-horn?

Listen, young fellow, on your best day

you couldn't curry mules in my outfit.

: Papa!

Papa!

All right, let's get out of here.

Let's get out of here.

Jeff, Jeff?

Yes. Jeff?

Jeff, you've got to give up.

Lundy's too powerful.

He's too dangerous.

Maybe next time he'll order Sheriff Barnes to use his gun.

That's exactly why he's got to be fought and beaten.

Jeff, the best thing for you to do

is strap on your own gun

and fight him in his way.

Captain Hayes, I know gun play was necessary in the days

when you were with the Texas Rangers,

but if we're ever going to have progress in the West,

we've got to learn to fight our battles

with ideas and words.

Son, looks like you've kind of run out of words.

Maybe Hannah's right.

Maybe I should give up.

You know, a lot of people were glad to see me

run against Lundy, but none of them

would lift a finger to help.

I know a handful of men, just three who could

straighten out Lundy and his gang in a hurry.

Who's that, Captain?

Fastest guns in the West.

Finest riders.

Top scouts.

Crack men who served with me on the River Brages

and brought law and order to the Lone Star state.

The pride of the Texas Rangers.

First off, I'll send to Abilene for Nash Crawford.

His gun was quicker than the blink of a cougar,

faster than the flick of prairie dog's tail.

You'll see a gun, mister,

and you'll be dead before it clears out.

Gosh Grandpa, is that exactly the way you

had the shoot out with Sam Vance?

Well, of course the saloon weren't

all cluttered up with gee-gaws and dinguses like this.

Now you fellows clean this up 'fore your ma sees it.

And this the exact kind of gun you carried

in the Texas Rangers, isn't it, Grandpa?

Well, it's a mite smaller than my Colt .45,

more like a hideout gun.

What's a hideout gun?

Well, come on over here and I'll tell you about it.

Sit yourself down there.

Now I recall I was wintering in the bend

on the San Sava River, east of Manardville, see?

The Captain sent me on to scout after a fellow

who was wanted for murder and horse thieving.

Well boys, that's when I got my first taste

of a hideout gun.

You see--

What was that crash I heard in here a minute ago?

Oh, my fault, Ellie.

Had a little accident with a lamp.

I suppose the Texas Rangers just

won another battle against overwhelming odds?

Run along, boys.

It's time for your nap.

Oh mom, Grandpa was just going tell us about--

It'll keep, it'll keep.

Do like your ma says.

Pa, I know you don't mean any harm.

But you've got to stop filling the boys'

heads full of those blood-curdling fairytales

about fighting horse thieves and Indians.

Fairy tales?

Well, them things really happened.

Fact is, I ain't even told the kids the bloodiest ones yet.

: Next, I'll send to Kansas City for Jason Fitch,