Almost Famous

All right, you chipmunks. Ready to sing your song?

- I'll say we are! - Let's sing it now.

Okay, Simon?

Okay, Theodore?

Okay, Alvin?

Christmas, Christmas time is near

Time for toys and time for cheer

We've been good but we can't last

Hurry, Christmas Hurry fast

Want a plane that loops the loop

Me, I want a hula hoop

We can hardly stand the wait

Please, Christmas Don't be late

You wanna be Atticus Finch. Good.

- I like him. - Why?

- He's honest. - Yes.

- He stands up for the right thing. - Yes.

- And he's a good father. - He is.

- Did it all by himself. - Did what all by himself?

- Raised his kids. - He didn't raise them by himself!

Who was the woman that came to their house every day?

- Calpurnia. - Calpurnia. He remembered.

- And what about Boo? - What about Boo?

Boo Radley is the most interesting character in To Kill a Mockingbird.

Boo Radley is the most interesting character in To Kill a Mockingbird.

Mom, tell me more about Livia.

She killed everybody so her son Tiberius could inherit the throne-- Iike Nixon.

It's awfully common.

The same stories, the Shakespeare, like those plays we saw at the Old Globe.

- Anita? - Hey, Mom.

- Want something to eat? - No, thanks. I already ate.

- Are you sure? I made soy cutlets. - I'm fine. I already ate.

Wait. You've been kissing.

- No, I haven't. - Yes, you have.

- I can tell. - You can't tell.

Not only can I tell, I know who it is. It's Darryl.

What you got under your coat?

It's unfair that we can't listen to our music.

It's because it is about drugs and promiscuous sex.

Simon and Garfunkel is poetry.

It is the poetry of drugs and promiscuous sex.

Honey, they're on pot.

First, it was butter. Then it was sugar and white flour.

Bacon, eggs, bologna, rock 'n' roll, motorcycles.

Then, it was celebrating Christmas on a day in September...

when you knew it wouldn't be commercialized.

- What else are you gonna ban? - You want to rebel against knowledge.

I'm trying to give you the Cliff's Notes on how to live life in this world.

We're like nobody else I know!

I am a college professor. Why can't I teach my own kids? Use me.

Darryl says that you use knowledge to keep me down.

He says I'm a "yes" person...

and you are trying to raise us in a " no" environment.

Well, clearly " no" is a word Darryl doesn't hear much.

I can't live here! I hate you!

- Even William hates you. - I don't hate her.

You do hate her. You don't even know the truth.

- Don't be a drama queen. - Feck you!

This is a house of lies!

There it is.

- Your sister used the "f" word. - I think she said "feck."

- What's the difference? - The letter " u."

I look so much younger than everyone else.

Enjoy it while you can.

Mom, it's time.

- Can this wait till we get home? - Mom, pull over.

Tell him the truth. Tell him how old he is.

He knows how old he is.

But other kids make fun of him because of how young he looks.

Nobody includes him. They call him "The Narc" behind his back.

- They do? - What's a narc?

- A narcotics officer. - Well, what's wrong with that?

Come on, you guys. It's no big deal.

I'm twelve. She skipped me a grade.

Big deal. I'm a year younger.

They're 13, I'm 12.

Aren't I ?

I also put you in first grade when you were five, and I never told you.

So I'm how old?

You're 11 .

- Eleven? - So you skipped fifth grade.

-There's too much padding in the grades. -Eleven?

This explains... so much.

You've robbed him of an adolescence.

Adolescence is a marketing tool.

Honey, I know you were expecting puberty...

but you're just gonna have to shine it on for a little while.

Who needs a crowd?

Who put such a high premium on being typical?

You're unique. Take those extra years and do what you want.

Go to Europe for a year. Take a look around.

See what you like.

Follow your dream.

You'll still be the youngest lawyer in the country.

Your dad was so proud of you. He knew you were an accelerated child.

What about me?

You are rebellious and ungrateful of my love.

This song explains why I'm leaving home to become a stewardess.

We can't talk? We have to listen to rock music?

I love you.

Let us be lovers

We'll marry our fortunes together

I've got some real-estate here in my bag

Hey, man, take good care of her in San Francisco, man.

And walked off

To look for America

One day... you'll be cool.

Look under your bed. It'll set you free.

Michigan seems like a dream to me now

Watch the plant.

You're 18 and I can't stop you.

I've gone to look for America

Bye.

She'll be back.

Maybe not soon.

I said, be careful His bow tie

Is really a camera

Toss me a cigarette

I think there 's one in my raincoat

We smoked the last one an hour ago

So I looked at the scenery

She read her magazine

And the moon rose over an open field

Here 's a theory for you to disregard...

completely.

Music, you know-- true music--

not just rock 'n' roll-- it chooses you.

It lives in your car, or alone, listening to your headphones--

you know, with the vast, scenic bridges and angelic choirs in your brain.

It's a place apart...

from the vast, benign...

Iap of America.

It's quite an honor to have the world's greatest rock critic...

and editor of Creem magazine...

back home in San Diego for a few days.

- Lester Bangs. - The Doors? Jim Morrison?

He's a drunken buffoon posing as a poet.

- I like the Doors. - Give me the Guess Who.

They got the courage to be drunken buffoons. Which makes them poetic!

Give me some "White Light/White Heat."

Iggy Pop!

Amen!

Put this on. This isn't on your play list either.

- Isn't it a bit early for that? - Not for me.

That was Lester Bangs, this is Alice Wisdom, and here is lggy Pop.

So you're the kid who's sent me those articles from the school newspaper.

Yeah. Yeah.

I've been doing some stuff for a local underground paper also.

- What are you, the star of your school? - They hate me.

You'll meet them all again on their long journey to the middle.

Your writing is damn good. It's just a shame you missed out on rock 'n' roll.

- It's over. - Over?

It's over. You got here just in time for the death rattle.

Last gasp. Last grope.

- At least I'm here for that. - What do you type on?

Smith-Corona Galaxies Deluxe.

- And you like Lou Reed? - The early stuff.

In his new stuff, he's trying to be Bowie.

He should just be himself.

- You take drugs? - No.

Smart kid.

I used to do speed.

You know, and sometimes a little cough syrup?

I'd stay up all night, just writing and writing.

I mean, like 25 pages of dribble--

You know, about The Faces, or Coltrane.

You know, just to fucking write.

All right. It's been nice to meet ya.

Keep sending me your stuff.

I can't stand here all day talking to my many fans.

I understand.

You know, because once you go to L.A., you're gonna have friends like crazy.

But they're gonna be fake friends. They're gonna try to corrupt you.

You got an honest face, and they're gonna tell you everything.

But you cannot make friends with the rock stars.

- Is it okay if I-- - If you're gonna be a true journalist--

you know, a rock journalist--

First, you never get paid much.

But you will get free records from the record company.

Jesus.

Fucking nothing about you that is controversial, man.

God, it's gonna get ugly, man. They're gonna buy you drinks.

You're gonna meet girls, they're gonna fly you places for free, offer drugs.

I know it sounds great, but these people are not your friends.

These are people who want you to write sanctimonious stories...

about the genius of rock stars.

And they will ruin rock 'n' roll, and strangle...

everything we love about it, right?

And then it just becomes an industry of cool.

I'm telling you, you're coming along at a very dangerous time for rock 'n' roll.

That's why I think you should turn, go back, and be a lawyer or something.

But I can tell from your face that you won't.

I can give you 35 bucks.

- Give me 1 ,000 words on Black Sabbath. - An assignment?

You have to make your reputation on being honest...

and...

you know, unmerciful.

Honest.

Unmerciful.

If you get into a jam, you can call me.