American Dad!

Roger, how are the ice-skating lesson going?

Harder than I thought.

I didn't realize I'd be teaching them.

You douche-B's ready for my big bachelor party weekend?

Klaus, bachelor parties are for men who are getting married.

You're not a man, and you're not getting married.

Case closed. Guilty of being wrong.

Your sentencing will be Monday at 9:00 a.m.

But that's when I'm getting married!

Married to your work?

No, no, that can't be it.

To my girlfriend, Shoshanna.

Shoe Hannah? The old woman in the park

who sells shoes out of a baby stroller?

Shoshanna!

She used to live in Steve's room.

She smoked cigarettes on his bed.

You mean Francine!

Seriously, guys?

I've been talking about it all year!

I asked Shoshanna to marry me.

She choked a little bit on her Kahlúa,

and she said she'll think about it!

Shoshanna said yes!

Well, she said, "Yeah, I guess," but it still counts.

She backed out!

She's back in!

She backed out!

She's back in! I'm getting married next week!

I think I'm gonna take ice-skating lessons.

Good for you! Way to go!

That's amazing! Good luck!

Married?

I'm getting married!

To your work?

No, no, that can't be it.

The wedding is Monday at 9:00 a.m.,

and the bachelor party is this weekend.

You guys have to come.

According to an article I read,

if you don't have anyone else with you on your bachelor party,

it's sad.

I really don't want to hang out with Klaus.

Me, neither.

I suppose the bachelor party

is the most sacred of men's parties.

To deny it would be to deny God, the most sacred bachelor of all.

Sounds like fun!

No kids allowed.

Just Stan, Roger, and Jeff.

Wow! I'm Jeff!

Hayley, since the men are going away,

you and I should have a fun girls' weekend!

Let's get a stripper.

Mom!

Yes!

I guess this could be an opportunity

to learn about the complicated world of sex workers.

No kids allowed, Steve.

So, I have to spend the whole weekend

not hanging out with either of my parents?

I hate my liiiife!

2010 Sebring convertible.

It's on the secret menu at Hertz.

Remind me why we're going to West Virginia

for your party, Klaus.

Because it's home to the world's largest sycamore tree.

My boy Scooter got a blow job there,

and I'm gonna put his ashes under it.

Now, guys, I downloaded

"Joe Rogan's Ultimate Bachelor Party Checklist."

Let's check every box.

First item... "Make a joke about the bride."

Stan, make a joke about Shoshanna.

Who's Shoshanna?

Good one, Stan!

Okay, what's next?

"Talk about your favorite thing."

I like long eyelashes on babies.

Mine's the Instant Pot.

Shosh and I are doing so many easy, healthy meals

in our Instant Pot.

Wait a second.

Klaus, have you met someone?

Any second now, Rick Rod from Rod Hard Entertainment

is gonna walk through that front door!

Every time I look at his picture, I get so hot, hot, hot!

Now, this is a man.

Can I see a man?

Get outta here!

I'm trying to get hot with my daughter, not my son!

He's here!

Hello, ladies.

You're disappointed. I can tell.

I can read people like other people can read a book.

You don't look like your picture.

I know! That guy is so hot!

No, no, no, no!

The batteries... The batteries are dead.

It's okay.

Calm otter floating in a river.

Where do you keep your "D" batteries?

We don't have any "D" batteries.

You don't have a single "D" battery

in this castle, Your Majesty?

Sorry, we don't have...

Enough! If I can't dance

to Bobby Brown's "My Prerogative,"

then I can't get you ladies slippin' and slidin'.

Stay put. I'm going for batteries.

That's okay. You don't have to come back.

We can still pay you.

Yeah, no offense, but your energy

makes me feel very unsafe.

Rick Rod don't leave women high,

and he especially don't leave 'em dry!

Gross. Again, unsafe.

I can't believe we've been "bro-coded"

into a weekend with Klaus.

I told you we shouldn't have come.

Yeah!

Klaus is...

frustrating!

Jeff, you're a secondary member of the group.

You don't have to have a strong opinion about this.

Oh, good.

Check it out!

I got us matching T-shirts

that say "Klaus's Boyz"!

I thought this would never happen,

but the era of replacing an "S"

with a "Z" to make a word cool is over.

Sorry, sleeping people, you sound like snakes now.

I've always found whiskey-tasting pretentious.

What, am I supposed to just drink this with no Diet Coke?

Why does this bottle have a warning label?

This whiskey's 400 proof.

If it comes anywhere near a flame,

it'll explode everything.

Whooooa! Whooooa! Whooooa! Whooooa!

Okay, now, go ahead, take a sip of your whiskeys

and shout out any notes you taste.

I taste grapes!

After you tried it.

Edamame! No.

And cocoa. No.

Egg. No.

Lime. Rice? No. No.

Mustard. No.

My tongue must be broken

from all the making out I've been doing.

No. You haven't tried yours.

That's good.

And familiar.

When I was a boy, my father said

the juiciest part of the fig tree was the trunk.

So I bit into it and broke all eight of my teeth.

This tastes like baby teeth!

Good palate!

I'm very proud of you!

This gal's really invested in Stan.

And now that you're dangerously drunk,

it's time for axe throwing.

Axe throwing is the new Big Jenga.

The rules are simple... Pick one up and throw it.

Axe throwing is on the checklist!

Do we need an axe-throwing lesson?

Only if you're a nerd.

Klaus picked this place?

This is actually delicious!

Guys! Guys!

Guys! Check out my trick!

Damn it!

Still a pretty good throw.

But I was trying to do a cartwheel.

These are ribs!

We're having a great time, and it's all because of Klaus!

I smoke my meat for 48 hours

to achieve this texture and flavor.

48 hours?!

Me and Shoshanna's Instant Pot could do this in 10 minutes.

Could it do it in nine minutes?

I don't think so.

Could it do it in eight minutes?

I see where this is going, so I'm going to say yes.

Could it do it in seven minutes?

Come on, six! Six, six, six.

Sign of the devil!

Hear my prayer, Satan, and bring me a six!

- Six! - Yeah!

Satan! Satan! Satan!

Well, this has been a great weekend,

but I'm afraid it's time to wrap it up.

Klaus has to be at the church at 9:00 tomorrow,

and it's our duty as his boyz to get him there on time.

I wish this night didn't have to end.

One more round, then we go?

Let's do it.

Look, Stan, I have weighted dice.

What? Why? We're already winning!