How to Build a Better Boy

Go!

Move! Move! Move!

Move it!

Right side of the building.

Go! Go!

Ladies and gentlemen,

we're on contain and capture protocol!

Our fugitives are on site!

The President called.

He wants an update. Is he upset?

You lost track of a $3 billion weapon.

I'm sure he's thrilled.

Stay back, Doctor.

Let me reason with them, General. I can get them to talk.

We're past the time for a friendly chat.

As far as I'm concerned, the most dangerous criminals in the world

are right down there!

Give yourselves up!

You've stolen property

of the United States government.

Come out peacefully

and tell us everything we want to know,

or you will be locked up and tried for treason!

And there is no way you are going to homecoming!

But, Dad!

Not another word, young lady.

I want you to get into this bulletproof Humvee

this minute. And I want you to think about what you have done!

We're done.

In ten minutes?

Nine, actually.

I appreciate your confidence, Gabby,

but you're sophomores and this is senior calculus.

Why don't you and Mae check your work?

Yep, still done.

Gabby and Gabby junior, wrecking the curve.

As usual.

Dorks.

Mrs. Shapiro, may we have hall passes?

Mae is tutoring, and I'm heading up a meeting about

healthier choices on the cafeteria menu.

There's no time to waste when there's so much to improve around here.

Thanks. They called us dorks.

No, no, no, they said sporks.

It's the world's most versatile utensil.

So, the tangent of three pi over four is...

Well, it's in quadrant two, so...

I'll never get it.

Hey, you play quarterback, right?

Close your eyes.

Come on, just trust me.

So picture the football field

as a circle on the graph.

The tight end is lined up at zero...

on the path of the circle.

Strong safety is at pi over four...

the free safety is...

Uh, three pi over four.

And with X being negative...

the answer is negative one.

Bingo.

I got it! Wow, that... that is so cool.

I didn't know you liked football.

I don't really...

but... you do.

What's your deal? I mean, social-life wise?

Are you going to homecoming?

Oh.

Is that this weekend?

It's the biggest weekend of the year.

You're going to the dance, right?

I don't know.

Gabby and I like to play it by ear.

Us and all of our friends,

our crew, our posse.

Well, you should go.

You never know what you'll miss.

Can you believe it? Yeah.

I know this is gonna sound crazy.

I feel like Jaden likes me.

He needs you...

to do his problem sets.

Me and Jaden, impossible, right?

But we had this moment today,

and it's like, he was gonna ask me to homecoming.

Mae, have you ever heard the story

of a girl who met a boy

and changed the world?

No, because there isn't one.

Look, who cares that people here don't like us

or if we don't get invited to silly dances?

We have the brains.

We're an amazing team,

and someday, we're gonna blow them all away.

But we need to focus.

Boys are a distraction.

You're right.

You're always right.

Nevaeh for homecoming queen, obviously.

aeh for homecoming queen. Thanks.

All fixed, Principal Fragner.

It won't crash when you load videos

and it should run ten times faster now.

Well, thanks, Gabby.

Now I can catch up on my online tango lessons.

Okay.

Oh!

Oh, what's wrong?

Jaden texted.

I told you to forget about him.

He texted me. Unprovoked.

"Meet me after practise." With an S.

"Have to ask letter U an important question."

"C U Lader." With a D.

Wow. Even auto-correct can't help this kid.

Well, I mean, it must be about the dance.

What else would be important?

Mae.

Jaden Stark is not gonna ask you to homecoming.

"See you there."

T-H-E-I-R.

Ugh. You didn't.

I'm going.

To quote Julius Caesar,

"Cowards die a thousand deaths."

You know Caesar got stabbed, right?

Hmm.

Thanks, Nevaeh.

It's all about one word, men! Focus!

Heart! Defense!

Tenacity!

Hi.

Uh, this is so ill-advised.

Okay, now when Jaden comes over here,

act normal.

Don't say anything smart.

Okay. Uh-oh.

I don't think I'm your problem.

Why is Nevaeh coming over here?

She doesn't even know who I am.

Bon jour, ladies.

What brings you here?

Jaden invited us.

Mae, you and Jaden

aren't even on the same social radar.

See, here's the social radar

and over here is Siberia,

and over there, that's--

That's you.

Why do people even like you?

Well, I'm not the one trying to

steal someone's homecoming date.

Mae thinks Jaden is asking her.

But Jaden and I have been dating for like,

17 whole days.

And everyone knows it except, apparently,

the school geniuses.

I never-- I never said that.

I know what you saids and dids, pumpkin.

And I know a crush when I see one.

So back off.

Hey, what's going on?

Oh, silly girl talk.

Hey, Jaden, um,

you're asking me to the dance, right?

Yeah.

I knew it.

But there have been some nasty rumors

in the kingdom.

Mae, what I wanted to ask you was...

can we go over quadratic functions tomorrow?

You know me, I'm clueless.

Yes, we can see that.

Sorry to burst your bubble.

Sad face emoji.

Au revoir.

Let's go, Mae.

Told you this was a bad idea.

Hey, Nevaeh!

My bubble is totally un-burst

because I already have a boyfriend!

Mae, what are you doing?

See, my boyfriend,

so cute.

Total hot burger.

And his name is...

Albert. Albert!

Oh. Yeah, that's right.