How to Make It in America

* I need a dollar dollar *

* a dollar, that's what I need * * hey hey *

* well, I need a dollar dollar *

* a dollar, that's what I need * * hey hey *

* said I need a dollar dollar *

* a dollar, that's what I need *

* and if I share with you my story *

* would you share your dollar with me? *

* well, I don't know if I'm walking on solid ground *

* and all I want is *

* for someone to help me *

* and I need a dollar dollar *

* a dollar, that's what I need *

* and if I share with you my story *

* would you share your dollar with me? *

* pain in my heart *

* is treating me cold *

* where can my baby be? *

* lord, no one knows *

* pain in my heart *

* just won't let me sleep... * -

You're a loser. You gave up after five minutes.

- I think I sprained something. - Oh, right.

Are you gonna call and wish her a happy birthday?

No, I'm not.

- Ben. - What?

- Be nice. - I am being nice.

We're moving on.

People don't call their exes when they're moving on.

That's counterproductive.

What's she doing for it, anyway?

Oh just-- it's-- you know what?

I think it's a small, intimate dinner. Super low-key.

- Hmm. - No biggie.

Nice.

Is her boyfriend treating everyone?

Darren's not her boyfriend.

And for your information, he's not gonna be there.

Oh.

So are you gonna be okay tonight?

- Yeah? - Yeah, of course.

- Okay. - I'm a rock.

* birthday sex *

* birthday sex... *

Oh my god! What are you doing?

Oh, sorry, rach. I didn't mean to wake you up.

Happy birthday, by the way.

Of course you didn't.

Is it too early to set this birthday off?

Oh, set it off.

Cheers.

Mmm. Thank you.

Uh-oh. Here we go.

Daddy-o.

Hi, dad.

Aw, thank you.

I got the card. It was so cute with the singing

And the--

I-- okay. Well, you know what?

I'm-- it's probably better

If I call you at the office...

When I get there. Okay, I love you too.

All right.

- Ta-ta. - Bye, dad!

You-- you're a freak.

Well, you gotta get freaky on your birthday.

Really?

I'm totally bummed I'm missing your dinner tonight.

- It sucks. - Oh my god, don't even--

Don't-- please don't

Because birthdays aren't even important to me.

They're not. I'm serious.

Why are you looking at me like that?

'cause they're important to me.

* birthday sex... *

That-- darren!

You're so--

My man. - Kaplan: Well, look who's calling me

Bright and early in the morning,

My ex-friend ben epstein.

I didn't know you creative types

Got up before lunch.

Only when I'm trying to make a buck.

Yeah, god bless america, baby.

All right. So tonight is the night, kapo.

We're gonna roll to avenue. Get ready to go big.

Are you fucking with me? - No, I am not fucking with you.

N-- no, you wanna roll tonight-- for reals?

I do.

Awww, shit.

So I take it you're available?

I'm ready, I'm willing,

I'm able.

What time do you want to hook up?

You want to grab a steak first? What are you gonna wear?

I'll call you later, we'll figure it out, okay?

Yeah, you bet. Don't flake on me. - Never.

There she is, the special birthday girl.

Edie, don't start.

Where are we going tonight?

Okay-- nowhere. I'm skipping my birthday this year.

No getting older. Much better that way.

Too late. I already made three different reservations

And invited all your friends. All you have to do

Is pick a place and show up.

It's my treat.

- I don't wanna- - - pick it!

Okay, um, if I had to make a choice,

I would say mexican.

Odelay! I can't wait to meet darren.

Um, unfortunately for you,

He is on a plane to ndon.

Well, that sucks.

Yeah, it's fine.

Uh-oh. Is there trouble in hotelier-land?

No, it's just-- you know,

It's a weird birthday for me.

The last few birthdays I've had with ben.

And then walking from darren's apartment this morning,

It kinda hit me.

Birthdays are always tricky, honey.

Reflecting back on where you were a year ago,

Looking ahead to the year to come.

You're getting closer to the age you'll be when you die.

Jesus, edie.

And, uh, you've tended bar before, right?

Of course, andre. - So you know how to make all the drinks?

No doubt, especially the new ones like the thug passion.

Thug passion.

Yeah, but you're not gonna be pouring a lot of those

At the find-a-cure benefit tonight.

Oh. - You know how to make a manhattan?

- Yeah. - How?

Pfft! Is he seriously grilling me right now?

No, he's just doing his background check.

But look, trust me. This kid is "legite"

With a capital "t."

Well, look. This company's awesome.

They do all the big events. They do the met ball,

They do a ton of fashion week parties.

With the shift pay plus tips,

It's a nice chunk of change,

So you can't fuck this up for me.

Never, bro. Never.

All right. You need to shave.

- And you need a black tie. - Right.

Black tie? Not a problem.

I wanted to work this one myself,

But we booked a gig in philly, so--

Oh man, I love philly, man. Cool city.

I'm from philly. It's miserable.

Anyway, and this is very important,

You have to sign in under my name--

Andre vipolis.

- Vipo-- - vipolis.

Vipolis. Yes.

It's $500 cash at the end of the night.

So you gotta make sure you bring me my $50 right here tomorrow.

Done deal, my dude.

- Bourbon, sweet vermouth and bitters. - That's a manhattan!

So what we can do is we can put up

These sliding room dividers.

They keep in the light. They're adjustable by hand.

Well, I-- I just want to give them a sense of privacy.

- Right-- - anything to separate them.

They're at that age where they need it. - Right.

Does your big brother keep you up at night

Talking to all his girlfriends?

are you kidding? This kid masturbates like a maniac.

Our mom had to cancel our internet-- - sam!

That is inappropriate!

Boys, stop it! I'm sorry. I'm really--

Boys, cut it out!

oh my god. I'm just gonna take this.

Stop that!

- Hello? - Hey. Happy--

- How are y-- oh-- - happ-- happy--

- Happy birthday. - Thanks.

Am I violating some sort of moving-on code?

No, not at all. Not at all. Yeah.

Good birthday so far?

Yeah. Nothing too crazy.

You know, st-- what about you?

Are yoat work or-- - yeah. Calling you from my corner office.

right.

God, I can't believe it's my birthday again.

Just like that-- another year down, huh? - I know, another year.

Um, so, ben, what are you--

Do you have plans- do you have plans tonight?

- Sort of. - Oh, okay.

'cause I was just gonna say I'm having a little

Uh, dinner party thing

- If-- if you wanna stop by. - Oh.

Uh-- okay. - Yeah, I mean, there's no pressure obviously.

It's just, it would be nice to see you

- On my birthday. - You know what?

That-- that would be nice.

I'll definitely stop by.

Uh, ben, can you- can you hold on just a minute?

- Sure. - Okay, thanks.