Agatha All Along

Take me to the Witches' Road!

I don't know where you heard about The Road,

but it will kill you.

It'll give you the thing you want most.

But we do need a coven to access The Road.

Lilia. I need a Divination Witch.

Jen!

I need a Potions guy.

Alice Wu Gulliver? We're looking for a Protection Witch

Where's our Green Witch?

Oh, I know who it is. I'll just go get her.

- You look fabulous! - Thank you, Mrs. Hart.

- No, my real name is Sharon Davis. - Right.

All we need to do is sing the Ballad, and a door will appear.

Because we should really go, like, right now.

It's exactly how I pictured it.

Yes.

It suits you.

You didn't think it was real, did ya?

And you did?

You know what this is?

This is a kidnapping,

and I think it is high time we involve the local authorities.

Are we gonna ignore the fact that something chased us down here?

Chased Agatha.

Okay, no cell service.

Well, whatever chased Agatha down here, it's our problem now.

Is that because covens share blessings and burdens alike?

Someone really needs to call this kid's parents.

I'm 100% positive they're asleep. Unless...

Is this like perpetual night? Like, as a vibe?

Okay. I am a member of the Westview Historical Society.

All I would've expected to see down here

were remnants of our failed public transit system.

Helpful interjection, random woman with no obvious magical qualities.

- Hey, she has a name! It's Mrs. Hart. - Sharon.

Well, whoever she is, she has no business on The Road.

- That's what I'm saying. - Anyone can be a witch with training.

Which puts the rest of us in even more danger

and we don't even know what we're up against.

"Tame your fears."

That's what we're up against.

Our worst nightmares.

But in what form?

Trials.

At least that's what the song says.

What are they like?

The Road will test us

and our knowledge of the craft.

One trial for each skill.

How do we pass them without any power?

Well, there's always analog magic.

You know, labor-intensive, manual acts of magic.

Witchcraft, emphasis on the craft.

Again, who are you?

I'm...

Well, I'll be. Someone's put a sigil on that boy.

A what?

Don't look at me. I didn't put that clumsy glamour on him.

Sigils are beneath me.

A "sigil" is a spell?

A sigil is a redaction spell that hides something.

In this case, you, from witch folk.

Looks like Agatha brought a sparkly little mystery with her.

She was probably trying to keep him all to herself.

Why would someone wanna hide me?

Look.

I have no idea what's under that sigil.

He could be something special,

or he could be a pest that a cranky witch stashed under a rock.

We can crack him open later.

The real value lies at the end of The Road.

So...

If you want to unbind,

and you want to reverse your fortune,

and you wanna find out what happened to mommy,

and you...

Wait, where's Mrs. Hart?

I mean, you take your eyes off of her for two seconds...

Don't touch me.

Oh, my God.

There has to be a way outta here.

Oh. Oh!

Okay. Okay. Okay.

Catching my breath.

Catching my breath. Okay.

What in the world! Stop! Stop! No, no, oh, my God.

No, this came from Talbots. You can't have it.

Stop! Oh, my God.

No...

- - Where is she?

Mrs. Hart?

Help me! Getting lower, witch people.

This has been a very, very bad day. Oh, my God!

- Mrs. Hart! - This is not the way to go!

- Oh, my God! - Yeah, okay. Come on.

Okay, all right. Here we go.

I'm not gonna...

Jeezy Louisey!

You can't just walk off The Road like that.

This is just a really, really, really horrible party.

Well, I thought that this was pretty obvious.

But for the uninitiated,

rule number one,

- do not step off The Road. - Oh.

"I stray not from the path."

Yes, thank you, Teen.

So, if we just follow the instructions of the Ballad,

we'll be safe as kittens. Okay?

Well, I don't know how you expect me to walk and walk and walk

- when there is nowhere to walk to? - Right.

Look.

Was that there before?

We should stop asking that question.

Now, this is a house.

Right off your vision board.

Maybe this is the end.

That would be such a bummer.

Sorry.

The phases of the moon.

- It's full. The water phase. - Huh.

So what do we do?

Well, we don't wanna surprise anyone.

Don't we?

It's not exactly the stuff of nightmares.

The Road changes for the coven.

It changed us, too.

My amulets.

You still got 'em.

It's giving "middle-aged second chance at love" vibes and I'm here for it.

Definitely a sip-your-tea- with-both-hands kinda place.

I look like one of my customers.

These don't open.

Oh, my God!

Bury me in that kitchen.

Have you seen Huge Tiny Lies?

It's Huge Tiny Lies everywhere.

Check this out.

What is this? A wedding? Please God, not a baby shower.

"The Witches' Road cordially invites you to The First Trial."

It's a riddle.

"My age has value. I'm no fun alone.

"I mess with your mind, my tricks are well-known."

That's a gorgeous card stock.

Double-sided, too.

What does it mean?

That it's really expensive.

"My age has value, no fun alone,

"I mess with your mind, my tricks are well-known..."

- Sounds like a witch. - Sounds like you.

Wine!

That's it. Ten points for Mrs. Hart.

Ten points for what now?

Wait, we don't know what'll happen if we drink it.

Sure we do. Something terrible.

But if we don't follow these obvious breadcrumbs,

we can't move forward and we won't get to big prize,

so does anybody have a corkscrew?

- There's a built-in bar. - Oh.

And I will help you.

Hey, a bit of advice.

Yeah?

Watch your back with Agatha.

I know how people feel about her.

Did you know she traded her own child for the Book of the Damned?

That can't be true.

Nah. Yeah, you're probably right.

But that is what people say.

They say no one knows what happened to him.

They say he might be dead.

Others say he might be a demon

or an agent of Mephisto.

But hey, that's what happens when you have Agatha Harkness as your mom, right?

I doubt she'd even recognize her own son if he showed up at her doorstep.

Oh, found it.

Ooh, healthy pour.

If you're waiting for charcuterie, I don't think it's coming.

Oh, okay. Wow.

I have had a very hard day. Do not judge me.

So...

To harbingers of doom?

To the prize.

- Here we go. - Can I have some?

- No! - You bet.

Should we take the girl talk to the sofa?

- Hey. - Hey.

I really like your tattoo. Where'd you get it?

Nowhere.

Okay.

Got it in Colorado.

My mom was playing Red Rocks.

That symbol wards off curses, right?

She, uh...

made me get it,

'cause she said all the women in our family were cursed.

She wasn't well.

How old were you?

Thirteen, maybe.

A lot happened to me at thirteen too.

I miss your eyeliner.