The X-Files

- I hope we're not bothering you. - I'm just...

- We won't take up much of your time. - I'm waiting for a call.

We're all waiting, ma'am, for the good Lord to call in his flock.

From the cable TV people.

I'm just moving in. God bless.

Good afternoon. I hope... we're not bothering...

- Yes? - You're...

- Weren't you... - Didn't we just...

- Didn't you just what? - Speak to you.

Excuse me?

We just spoke to a woman who... could have been your twin.

- What are you talking about? - Down the street, moving in.

- Your spitting image. - You won't believe it when you see her.

- Ma'am? - Go away!

Get outta here!

- Betty Templeton? - Yes?

FBI. We'd like to ask about an incident, a possible religious hate crime in your area.

I just moved in yesterday. I don't know about any incident.

We have two young men in the car who say you do know something.

Oh, my God.

Those are the boys that were here yesterday. What happened?

They beat each other to within an inch of their lives

after visiting the home of a woman living a few blocks over.

What woman?

A woman who, by both young men's accounts, fits your description.

She, uh... lives around here?

Are you a practitioner of the occult?

Wicca? Voodoo? Satanism? The black art of bodily bilocation?

Me? No.

You know what they say. Everyone has a twin out there somewhere.

No, we don't know what they say.

If someone fits my description, why not talk to her?

We went over to the house, but it's empty. No one lives there.

Frankly, we're not even sure she exists.

This is an FBI fleet sedan from our Kansas City field office

requisitioned by two seasoned agents there.

Driven into a tree at 43 miles an hour by the female agent

in a novel effort to kill her male counterpart.

Now, you might think I'm gonna suggest psychokinesis - PK -

someone or something controlling the agents with remote mind-bending power.

But it's not?

Both agents sustained critical injuries, their stories eerily similar,

as if they'd temporarily lost control of their minds, unable to alter their behaviour.

You may think that I'm gonna say it's past lives unresolved

or fate stalking the agents like an animal.

- But you're not? - No.

These agents had worked together

for seven years previously without any incident.

Seven years?

Yeah, but they are not romantically involved, if that's what you're thinking.

Not even I would be so far-fetched.

You have any ideas, Scully? Any thoughts?

What I'm thinking, Mulder, is how familiar this seems.

Playing Watson to your Sherlock, you dangling clues out in front of me one by one.

It's a game, and... and as usual you're holding something back from me.

You're not telling me something about this case.

OK, so these agents were investigating something.

Something much like what they themselves were almost killed by.

Something they came into contact with.

A third party.

Two third parties.

Twins.

Relatives.

DQPPEIQénQer.

A corporeal likeness that appears unbidden from the spirit world,

the sight of which presages one's own death.

Or... a double conjured into the world by a technique called bilocation

which in psychological terms represents the person's secret desires and impulses

committing acts that the real person cannot commit himself.

Or herself.

Mulder, the slide, please.

Yes!

Don't go thinkin' I'm gonna start doin' the autopsies.

Excuse me. Hi. I applied for the sales job you posted.

- Ah, yeah. I remember. How could I forget? - Excuse me?

There's a problem with your application, as I recall, Miss...

Pfeiffer. Are you sure?

Lulu Pfeiffer. Yes.

You reside at 15527 Morton Bay Street?

- Not any longer. I've moved. - You moved?

Yes, and I don't have my new address yet.

Actually, that's what's sending up the red flag.

You move a lot, and there's also your employment history.

17 jobs in 17 states in the past three years.

You have as many jobs here as you have addresses.

I had a restless streak.

The copy business takes a motivated person.

I'm an extremely versatile employee, as you can see by my resume.

What I can tell is you've left a variety of jobs.

Mongolian-barbecue chef, high-rise window washer,

wild-animal trainer, palm reader.

- Yes, but I am on a career path now. - (man) Hey, what's going on here?

- All my copies are black. - My machine's goin' crazy.

Who's running this place?

I can start you immediately. There's a clean uniform in the employee washroom.

That's quite a string of positions you've had, Miss... Templeton.

17 jobs in the last three years.

I would have listed more but there wasn't any room left.

17's plenty, believe me.

My former employers will only give the highest references.

It's not your references. It's the jobs themselves.

Mongolian-barbecue chef, high-rise window washer... wild-animal trainer?

I'm a highly versatile employee.

What guarantee do I have that you won't just up and quit tomorrow?

You have my personal word on it. I'm here in Kansas City to stay.

- Who is it? - (Mulder) Mr Zupanic, it's the FBI.

- Excuse me? - It's the FBI, Mr Zupanic. Open up.

Give me a minute.

- Bert Zupanic? - Yeah?

We're hoping you can help us find a woman we think you're familiar with.

- Betty Templeton. - I don't know no Betty Templeton.

Maybe you should take another look at that photograph, Mr Zupanic.

Five foot three, red hair.

Maybe I can jog your memory.

Are you still pleading ignorance, Mr Zupanic?

Is that not you in last year's Fourth of July parade?

Yeah.

- And who's that sitting next to you? - Her.

Try Betty Templeton.

We can't find her. She seems to have left town in a hurry.

- She did? - Mm-hm.

Didn't she used to live on Morton Bay in a pink house?

Alderwood. Blue house.

On Alderwood?

Mr Zupanic, do you have any reason to be lying to us?

No, sir. I mean ma'am.

Thank you, Mr Zupanic. I have no doubt we'll be in touch with you.

Know what I'm thinking?

That he not only knows Betty Templeton and where we can find her

but that he is hip to whatever she's into,

and that I should look at that house on Morton Bay Street

while you find out from Mr Zupanic

what it is he's clearly hiding about Betty Templeton.

I'm thinkin' that Bert Zupanic really truly doesn't know Betty Templeton.

Well, I guess that's why they put the "I" in the FBI.

Give me a double, Freddy.

Thought you were in training, Bert, my man.

Would you just pour?

Nice outfit.

Freddy, Fire in the Hole.

Seven and Seven for the lady, and make it stiff.

Oh, my God!

- How did you do that? - Do what?

How did you know my drink?

I feel like you're lookin' right through me.

Like you're readin' my soul like a book.

Maybe you've had enough of that. You are in trouble, aren't you?

I don't know.

I could be.

- What kind of trouble are you lookin' for? - You don't want to go home tonight, OK?

It just so happens I don't got a home to go to.

anyway- --

I'm Betty Templeton.

Aldervvood Avenue.

My God.

I'm shakin'.

Betty Templeton.

That's perfect.

Hey, Scully!

I want you to meet a buddy of mine. This is Mr Argyle Sapersteen.

- Stein. - Saperstein. Excuse me.

Ma'anish ta na.

- This is my partner, Dana Scully. - A pleasure and an honour.

So I take it from your posture, Mulder, you've solved this case.

I have narrowed down the search for our perpetrator with the help of Mr Saperstein.

- Narrowed it down to where? - Right down there.

Our mystery woman is indeed involved with Zupanic, the man we spoke to at his hotel,

who will be fighting here two days hence, with the woman undoubtedly in attendance.

If it's the lady I'm thinkin', she's not much to look at, but he says she brings him luck.

- Bert Zupanic is a boxer? - A wrestler. Semipro.

So we wait around Kansas City for a couple of days until we can talk to this woman?

Well, there's lots to do here, and the barbecues second to none, right?

Plus Mr Saperstein's gonna show me some smackdown moves

so I can quit gettin' my ass kicked so often, right?

And there's an art exhibit that traces the influence of Soviet art

on the American pop culture, right?

Unless, of course, you've already found Betty Templeton.

Finding Betty Templeton won't solve this case, and not unless we find Lulu Pfeiffer.

- Who's Lulu Pfeiffer? - Our doppelgénger.

Who lived, until yesterday, in a pink house on Morton Bay Street,

but she's not a manifestation, she's real.

So is the path of destruction she's left in her wake.

Though there seems to be no connection between them,

Betty Templeton and Lulu Pfeiffer have travelled city to city across 17 US states,

one alternately trailing the other for the past 12 years,

and wherever they have been, mayhem has followed.

Damn.

It's not just car accidents and fist fights, Mulder.

It's house fires and explosions, and even riots.

The lady knows her stuff.

Shalom aleichem.

Yeah. Your mama.

- Hello? - Where's my money?

- I got it and I'm bringin' it. - Yeah, that's what I heard last night.

- Now you got the feds on your ass. - What?

Your good-luck charm don't sound so lucky no more, boychik.

- Maybe I should cancel the fight. - I'm bringin' the money, OK? I'm bringin' it.

I'm havin' lunch at Froggy's. No money, no fight, Titanic.

- In trouble or something? - I'm just...

- I gotta be somewhere, OK? - Why? What time is it?