Servant of the People (Слуга народу)

Friends,

we didn't gather here

for the scenic view.

Gentlemen, aren't you tired of pointlessly wasting money?

First, we spend millions to bring our candidates to the political forefront,

and then we spend twice as much to ruin our competitors.

Those are the rules.

You want to install your own president? Then back him.

Let us be honest with each other for once.

When somebody talks about honesty,

that means they want to take off your last pair of pants.

I don't remember who said this, but it was one of the greats.

Pasha Lazarenko.

Andrei Nikolaevich,

do you have any suggestions?

I do, Mikhail Semenovich.

It's one week before the election.

We worked hard for our candidates.

They're almost neck and neck.

Now let the best man win.

What good will that bring me?

Rustem Ashotovich,

to prove

to Mikhail Semenovich, myself,

and you personally,

who is ultimately king of the castle.

Fair enough.

Let the people of Ukraine

decide who wins.

Unsupervised democracy?

I like this kind of game.

I haven't felt such a rush of adrenaline in a long time.

Gentlemen,

we should meet more often.

ELECTION 201

Hey, big guy.

I've been meaning to ask you...

Who taught you to park like that?

And I've been meaning to tell you, "Get lost, old man."

How? How am I supposed to get out?

Should I fly over your tacky car?

That clunker actually drives? I thought only bums sleep in it.

Hey, punk, don't walk away.

Morning, Igor Mikhailovich. What's going on?

It's this crazy old timer who's blowing up.

-Move your car, butthead. -Get stuffed, old man.

Vasylich, you're shameless. Don't you know who his dad is?

-I don't care who his dad is! -Don't look for trouble.

Butt out of this. Who are you, my boss?

Do your job.

It's a slum, not a yard. When will you fix it?

-When I complain? -It's not your concern.

-Where's our parking lot? -I'm on it.

Look where he parked, huh? How am I supposed to get out?

Clearly, you don't see the road?

How do I turn the car around?

Would you call that dumbass over?

-I need to leave in thirty minutes! -Look, everything will be fine.

-Really? -Yes!

PLUTARCH'S LIVES

-I'm to spread my legs for this dork? -Chill out, Petya!

-Stop yelling. -Move from the car!

-Calm down, Vasylich! -Then move your car!

-I'm calling the cops! -Whatever!

Oh, hell!

Dad, I asked you yesterday to wake me at 6:30!

And I asked you to take out the garbage.

The same trash I asked you about the day before.

So we're even, one-all.

Good morning.

-Thanks, Dad! -You're very welcome.

Alright, then...

The shirt's wrinkled... Mom! Please iron this shirt.

Son, sick people await my care.

And a healthy classroom awaits me.

-Good morning. -Hi.

Natasha! Open the door, Natasha. I'm in a rush.

Me, too.

-I have class starting! -And I've got college, Vasya.

I'm your uncle, not "Vasya".

Make way for your uncle.

This isn't a tram seat!

That's funny.

Please, Mom. Find time to iron this shirt.

Sweetie, ask me when I'm retired.

Mom, if the principal sees me in a wrinkled shirt, she'll fire me.

Oh, I can't wait.

Petya!

-Enjoy your meal, boys. -Thank you.

Big deal, Petya.

Unemployment benefits are higher than a teacher's salary.

-Your logic is strange, Dad. -My logic is strange?

You finish school, go to college and then go back to school.

Well, sorry, Dad, for not treading in your footsteps

and becoming a cabbie.

Your dad isn't a cabbie.

-Your dad works in the service industry. -Splendid!

Then mind the coffee.

-Thanks. -Bless you.

Come on already...

Open the door! After all, it's your uncle who's asking.

Son, my uncle stopped asking five years ago.

Oh, sorry, Mom.

-Natasha! -I'm not Natasha, I'm your niece.

Dear niece, please iron my shirt.

You could have ironed it by now, instead of asking around.

Where's the iron?

-In its usual place. -So?

Here it is!

Vasya, your coffee is going to boil over.

-Take it off! -Beggars don't have servants.

He won't take off the coffee, Vasya.

He won't, will he?

Oh, man! Oh, no!

You didn't make it in time.

It's not your lucky day today, Vasya.

In fact, Vasya, do you know what day it is?

Isn't it Friday the thirteenth?

The thirteenth, not Friday.

Oh, today is also the faculty meeting.

When he has woes, everyone knows.

You oaf, today is your niece's birthday.

Right.

-Bon appétit. -Hi and thanks.

Natasha, happy birthday!

I wish you happiness, health, love, and so forth...

I got you a gift.

An iron for you...

And call me "Vasya".

Our good old iron. The girls will die of envy.

Great. I'm off, then. And that's for me.

I'll bring the other gifts tonight.

No need. You've spent way too much on the iron.

"THE COUNTRY NEEDS REFORM!"

-Vasya! -What?

Come out.

Can't I just have 10 minutes of pure concentration?

Really, Vasya. Come out. They've come for you.

Dad, that joke hasn't worked since the 8th grade.

Vasya, dear, he's not joking. Please come out.

You've now got Mom to join in? Then let Natasha in on the joke.

Actually, I'm here.

So what is it, Dad?

Hello.

Vasyl Petrovych Goloborodko?

Yes.

Good morning, Mr President.

All the ballots have been counted at each polling station.

With 67% of the votes...

the presidential race winner is...

Vasyl Petrovych Goloborodko.

It's sensational.

For the first time, a simple teacher from Kyiv has become Ukraine's head of state.

Vasyl Petrovych Goloborodko.

For world leaders, the Ukrainian people's choice

came as something of an unexpected surprise.

Honestly, I hardly know anything about Vasyl Goloborodko.

Nevertheless, I hope

that we'll find common ground with him.

Goloborodko's victory was quite unexpected.

We're shocked at the results.

However, we respect the Ukrainian people's choice

and recognize the election

to have taken place in a democratic fashion.

The president's office is receiving congratulations from around the world.

This is some kind of, you know, weird joke.

I feel like it's a practical joke.

Based on preliminary opinion polls, I didn't even make it into the top ten.

Oh, public opinion polls can't measure the will of the people.

To be honest,

I myself can't figure out how this could have happened.

-How? -Well... They elected him...

Hrushevsky?

-Hrushevsky. -Uh-huh. President?

President.

That's a myth. He headed the Central Council, that's all.

Right. What else do you know of Hrushevsky?

There's the street.

-A street, okay. -Oh! He's also on the 50-hryvnia bill.

Quiet, class. On the 50-hryvnia note... Good. And a street, correct.

But for what service?

Service to the Motherland?

Right.

Glotov, for service to your Motherland, we give you...

a solid D grade.

Well done! You've earned your fifth D this year. Have a seat.

Marchuk, please continue.

-Okay, okay. Sit down. -Have a seat.

Actually, no. Class, stand up.

Go out to the yard.

Hello, Petrovych.

Okay, let's go. Move it. Chop-chop.

Boys, nail together the voting booths

and, girls, hang up the political platforms.

-Understand? -Why the service yard?

-What? Class isn't over! -Principal's orders.

Vasya, the election is near.

What election? I don't get it. Why did my students get chosen again?

Why not class 10A?

Class 10A has math class.