Mrs. America

Do these look real?

- No. - No.

- No. - Where's Phyllis? She's up next.

Oh. Um, she's already there, waiting.

Next, we have the wife

of one of our biggest donors,

Mrs. J. Fred Schlafly.

Ready for summer in this patriotic swimsuit

courtesy of Marshall Field.

Fred is an attorney in Alton, Illinois.

He and his wife have been active

- in the Republican Party for many years, - Whoa!

and we thank them for coming out to support

Congressman Phil Crane's reelection campaign.

And next up is Mrs. Philip Crane,

the wife of the man of the hour. Look smart

in this evening dress from Neiman Marcus.

- Are you gonna buy the mink? - I prefer sable.

Thank God they asked you to model this time.

You know, when you were campaigning,

I got stuck with the bikini,

and I'd just given birth to Sarah about ten minutes earlier.

You ran an incredible campaign that year.

Oh, thank you.

If only you didn't have to be a man to win downstate.

Oh, that wasn't the issue. It was a terrible year for us.

You'd have to go back to, uh, 1934

to find such a bad year for Republicans.

My husband won.

Well, Fred said I would have won

if the Democrats hadn't rigged the congressional map

in their favor.

How are your kids adjusting to D.C. life?

- You bought a house in Alexandria. McLean.

Oh, I hear that's a lovely neighborhood.

- Are you ladies decent? - Hi!

- Oh. - Hi.

- Did you have a good time out there? - Yes.

- Yes. - Okay. (chuckles)

Now, shoo, so we can get changed.

Okay, well, thank you all again.

This event wouldn't be a success without you,

and I look forward to having you on my show next week.

- Mm-hmm. - Uh, please wear that.

("A Fifth of Beethoven" by Walter Murphy playing)

Looks good. We need to white balance.

What about off her face?

Good afternoon, gentlemen. - Good afternoon, Mr. Crane.

How are you?

I'm so sorry to keep you waiting.

No. Sorry.

Okay. I had to release a statement

on the Consumer Product Safety Act.

Oh. How will you vote?

You'll have to ask my chief of staff.

Mr. Crane, we'll be starting in about a minute.

All right. Okay, so I will begin

by introducing the topic.

- Mm-hmm. - And then I'm gonna ask you to weigh in.

It's debate style. But I'm gonna throw you some easy questions

so you don't seem in over your head, okay? Thank you, doll.

- Okay. - Thank you, sir.

And I might disagree with you just to

make it more fun for the viewers, so...

- Mm-hmm. - Relax.

Look like you're having fun, even if you're not.

And, uh... don't forget to smile.

What?

Smile, with teeth.

Rolling. - You want to practice?

- (music playing) - I think I've got it.

Okay. We're up.

Action. - (clears throat)

Good evening,

and welcome to Conservative Viewpoint.

I'm your host, Philip Crane.

My guest tonight hails from our home state of Illinois.

She burst onto the national scene in 1964,

when she wrote A Choice Not an Echo,

which sold three million copies

and was widely credited with helping Barry Goldwater

secure the Republican presidential nomination.

She has since authored four books on nuclear strategy

and served in national party offices.

Please welcome Phyllis Schlafly.

- Well, thank you for having me. - Absolutely.

You know, I got to know... how does a housewife

with six children, from Alton, Illinois,

become so interested

in national defense and nuclear warfare?

Well, uh, I was at Washington University

studying political science when World War II broke out,

and I worked nights as a gunner and a ballistics technician.

- A regular Rosie the Riveter. - Yes, that's right.

Uh, tonight's topic is the crisis

in America's defense posture,

specifically the Strategic Arms Limitation Talks,

or SALT.

Now, should we accept a deal

with a regime as reprehensible

as Brezhnev's Soviet Union? From a defense standpoint,

this pact serves certain common interests--

namely, the avoidance of nuclear war.

You would agree with that assessment, Phyllis?

Well, not entirely, no.

Not entirely?

Which part don't you agree with?

Well, I'm afraid all of it, Phil.

Y-You see, the-the U.S. delegation

has naively been telling the Russians, you know,

"Peace is wonderful. Try it, you'll like it.

It's like Life cereal." But I think they're gonna get

the last laugh, because the only country

that's gonna comply with the pact is the United States.

They don't comply, we'll know, won't we?

The experts maintain we have the most advanced satellite

- technology systems in the world. - Yes, but these are the same

experts that didn't find the missiles

that went into Cuba in 1962.

I mean, they didn't even detect the Soviet-built MiG-17

flying from Cuba to Homestead Air Force Base

in Florida two years ago.

Uh, so you think

we're proceeding down the wrong path with the SALT talks.

Yeah, well, not only are we proceeding down the wrong path,

Phil, but Nixon's leading the parade.

All right. Well, we will be, uh,

right back after this commercial

on more Strategic Arms Limitation Talks.

- Cut. - (bell rings)

I'm... I am having so much fun.

Well, that was... electrifying.

You are... Wow.

You are a star.

These sound guys-- you know, they listen to everything.

- (chuckles): Oh. - Am I gonna see you on the campaign trail?

I don't know.

Have to see what the county chairman decides.

I've already lost twice.

Well, the third time's a charm.

You know, you... there's things you can do

to get these county chairmen to come knock on your door.

- Hmm? - I can introduce you to some money guys.

When are you next in D.C.?

- I'm not sure. - Well, Ashbrook and I

are setting up a meeting with Goldwater.

He's our best hope at convincing Nixon not to sign this treaty.

And I think you should come for that.

Really?

You know more than any of us about SALT.

Well, that would be wonderful.

Thank you.

You tried Marshall Field's? Mm-hmm, yes.

How about Scruggs? Yes.

Oh, nothing at Scruggs?

Well, yes, but she says nothing fits.

Well, have to go back in the city and look some more.

Your sister can't do it? She lives right there.

No. She works.

I... work.

- You're a good daughter. - You're coming, right?

I don't think so.

Well, the girls will want their Aunt Eleanor there.

We only call it a mother-daughter luncheon

because we're trying to attract a younger generation.

It's not literal.

It's open to any member of the DAR.

Willie just pulled these out of the oven.

- I snuck you a couple. - Thank you, Leonia.

Andy was looking for his Little League uniform.

Oh, it's still in the dryer, Miss Schlafly.

- Thank you. Thank you.

Do you remember Raymond Bacha?

Yeah, I saw him at Phil Crane's fundraiser.

He's divorced now.

Oh, that's too bad.

- Oh, no. No. No. - He's nice-looking,

and his children are mostly grown.

Do you want me to talk to Fred?

I think he represented him once.

I don't think so.

He's Catholic.

He is nice-looking.

What are you smiling about?

The judges approved the redistricting plan.

Mm-hmm.

"The new map could mean the defeat

"of downstate Democrat Representative George E. Shipley

of the 23rd district."

I need to talk to Fred. W-Would you...

- Drop Andy off at practice. - Thank you!

- Well, what do you think of him? - Well, I don't.

Mm, but you're friendly enough to call him.

Well, I guess so, but why am I calling him?

- (sighs) To introduce him to your sister. - But why?

Because he's divorced.

Eleanor's too old for him.

No. He's older than she is.

Raymond is a very successful man.

If he remarries, it'll be to someone much younger.