Royal Tramp 2 (Lu ding ji II: Zhi shen long jiao / 鹿鼎記2神龍教)

Supreme Master of the Dragon Sect

Long Er

Why did your mission fail?

Master, it was screwed up

By a rascal called Wilson Bond

Is he a kung fu master?

Quite the opposite!

Is he good with poison?

Hardly!

Is he handsome and smart

You fell under his charms?

Definitely not!

He's ugly as a pig, despicable as a dog

A sweet-talking scoundrel

How can he defeat you?

Please punish me!

Maybe it's your destiny

He's probably your jinx

Be careful when you see him again

Yes, Master!

I'm destined to die tonight

You will succeed me

Enter the blood pool now

Resume your true self

And take over my position

Wu San Gui's son will meet the Qing Emperor at the capital

You must protect him

Yes, Master!

The Dragon Sect

Has assisted Wu for 3 generations

You'll assume my responsibility

And help put him on the throne

Follow me into the blood pool

You will then gain my power

You must remember

Our kung fu is unique

If you lose your virginity

80% of your power

Will go to your first man

Don't forget!

Supreme Master of the Dragon Sect

Bond, I'll get even with you!

Girls! Come meet your clients!

Be a beggar, be a beggar. . .

Go to hell, go to hell. . .

Be a beggar, be a beggar. . .

Go to hell, go to hell. . .

Be a beggar, be a beggar. . .

Go to hell, go to hell. . .

This time your family is dead!

Says who?

My sister is right here!

That's slander!

1 00,000 taels as penalty

He didn't mean it. Forgive him!

I didn't mean it

Pleading for him? What's going on?

Nothing! We're innocent!

We're pure and honest!

Very pure, very honest!

I can't stand you two! I'll go piss!

- Hey beauty! - Bastard!

Quiet!

Is Bond in the next room?

Yes!

No! Yes...no!

Yes or no?

What has he done to you?

He's assisting the Qing Emperor

Everyone should kill him!

Thank goodness! I have suffered

And waited for so long! Thank you!

You are. . .

He killed my whole family

Made me worship him!

That bastard! We must kill him!

Go ahead, I'll get ready to celebrate!

Wait! You take us to him!

Sure, let me get my glasses

This way...

We're innocent

Shut up, your bastard!

Bastard...

I'm in deep trouble!

You cannot deny it!

Bond, I want to kill you Skin you alive

and break your bones!

What is this?

Just so you know

I'm Li Ke, pupil of the One-Arm Nun

I'm Wilson Bond?

Guards! Help!

Guards! Help me!

No need to be afraid, calm down!

Lucky I have bodyguards

Of course, you have too many enemies

It's a girl!

Pretty too!

Then. . .let's. . .

I understand!

Stop!

Why are you still here?

You'll get killed!

Don't worry!

I wasn't sure you're anti-Qing

But now

I must disclose my identity

I'm the descendent of the condor hero

Master of Invincible East

My name is Vincible West

Vincible West?

You're the righteous Vincible West?

Don't move!

Or I'll kill them!

Give him poisoned wine!

What?

That one over there!

- What? You. . . - Don't!

He'll lose his senses

And must copulate with a woman in 1 hour

Or else he'll become a pool of blood

Drink up!

No! Don't drink it!

I cannot implicate you

I have finished it

Let them go!

Fine! Let's go!

Bastard!

How do you feel?

The poison is acting up

Save me. . .

How?

I need to copulate with a young woman

To neutralize the poison

We can't. . .

If we. . .with you...

We can save you?

I'm flattered

But I can't! You better go!

Hurry!

You risked your life to save us

We'll remember your benevolence!

We'll burn you more money

You can't leave me now!

Your pathetic trick can't fool anyone

Miss, don't believe him!

What! You. . . Let's go!

This is none of your business!

- Guards! Beat him! - Go on!

Don't pursue him!

Are you alright? I am Wu Ying Xiong

My father is Wu San Gui

I'm Li Ke

Master said Wu San Gui is a traitor!

We must not befriend his son!

I know what I'm doing

Thank you! Till we meet again!

- Miss! - Don't!

You're in trouble. That was Wilson Bond

What? That's Wilson Bond?

The guy inside is a kung fu master

So was Ao Bai, but I took care of him

We better go get help!

- Your Excellency! - What is it?

His Majesty summons you

Where is His Majesty?

Why do you want us here?

I was bullied today

Take revenge for me after the meeting

Who dares to bully you?

Someone quite capable of course!

His fists are big as pots, eyes are like bells

A long tongue and much taller than me

Hey you! Stop!

You're a bit like him! You 2 come take a look

You look exactly like him!

Is my tongue really that long?

You are the sissy!

How dare you tread on my turf! Fix him!

Hold him off! I'll go get help!

His Majesty is here!

- His Majesty! - Rise!

Minister Bond, what's going on?

This sissy broke into the Palace

He peeped at the royal concubine

I tried to stop him but was beaten up

- Really? - Yes!

What is your title, Minister Bond?

426! No!

Secretary of Grand Council and Duke of Deer Tripod

What can I do for you?

Don't you recognize me?

You're the sissy's accomplice!

Watch your mouth, Minister Bond!

He is Wu San Gui's eldest son, Wu Ying Xiong

He's here to discuss state affairs

How handsome you are, Prince Wu!

So nice to meet you!

This is Mr. Long, my top warrior

I brought him to the Palace