Adam Ruins Everything

Ugh.

Uh-oh.

Murph.

Go, go, go!

We're never having sex again.

What if you're pregnant?

I mean, is that a good thing or a bad thing?

I don't know!

Ugh.

I mean... maybe it's time.

We gotta have kids at some point,

and my biological clock is ticking, so...

Emily, what was that?

I must've stated a commonly held misconception.

He's coming.

Hello, my friends!

Ugh.

Hate to break it to you guys,

but everything you know about having a baby is wrong.

Okay, worst entrance... by far.

Thank you!

Hi, I'm Adam Conover, and this is...

"Adam Ruins Everything."

Oh! Ugh.

Hiatus over already, huh?

Yep, it's a whole new season. Joy.

Okay, so what'd I do this time, huh?

Did I pee on the stick wrong?

What? No. It's that,

when it comes to your "biological clock,"

you've got way more time than you think.

Uh, no, no, no.

My uterus is getting worse by the second.

I mean, if I want to have kids,

I have to do it by the time that I turn 35.

Ah, yes, 35.

The age when the media tells us

a woman's fertility rate supposedly plummets.

You got to get pretty serious about having kids before 35.

You're getting older,

and you know that clock is ticking.

By the time we're 35,

fertility has decreased by 50%

Gah! Whew.

See? I got to get baking now before this oven breaks down.

I mean, they have done studies.

Sure, but where those studies

got their data from is real weird.

Was is it from a large,

well-conducted sample of modern women?

Nope. It came from rural French census records

from the 1600s.

Ohh... ohh...

Wait, seriously? I have been getting fertility advice

from a bunch of 400-year-old French farmers?

Unfortunately, yes.

Oh! Emily, this is Jean Twenge,

the author of "The Impatient Woman's Guide to Getting Pregnant"

and the researcher who discovered the truth about this data.

You know, when I wanted to have kids in my late 30s,

I was as freaked out about these studies as anyone.

But I'm researcher, so I looked into it.

And I found out that nobody really noticed that these claims

were based on such old data.

And that's a problem,

because that means they come from a time

before fertility treatment, antibiotics, or modern medicine.

Yeah, there could've been a lot of reasons these women

weren't getting pregnant after 35.

Maybe their husbands had gone to war.

Maybe they had diseases.

Or, I don't know,

maybe they just stopped having sex.

Um...

They truth is, in modern data,

average woman age 27 who's healthy

has an 86% chance of getting pregnant within a year.

And that same woman at age 37,

her chances are to 82%.

That's like barely a difference.

You know, if you don't have fertility problems already,

you can have a baby later than you think.

Age doesn't really affect fertility that much

until you're in your 40s.

Take it from me, I had three kids...

One at 35, another at 38, and then at 40.

Whew, congratulations.

Honestly, it was no sweat.

Okay, farmers, let's get you

back to the past where you belong.

Thanks, Jean.

Yeah, au revoir, everyone, au revoir.

Yeah, merci very much.

But I read that by the age of 40,

your chances of birth defects double.

You know, the hen house may be workin',

but the eggs are goin' sour.

Not quite.

Miscarriages do become more common,

but your chances of having a baby with a birth defect

only "double" from .5%... to 1%.

That's like nothing.

Yeah, exactly.

But if they say it doubles, it sounds way scarier

and sells more magazines.

All this fear-mongering has caused a generation of women

to panic that they're going infertile in their 30s.

And if you've seen this show before,

you know what happens when people get scared...

Corporate America swoops in to take advantage.

Egg freezing industry, "ice" to meet you.

Egg freezing began as a way for women

to save their eggs before undergoing chemotherapy.

But today, it's grown into vanity industry

that preys on fertility fear.

Your eggs are rotting, fast.

So we're gonna freeze some now and thaw them out later

when you're ready to have a baby.

What she failed to mention

is that each of those eggs only has a 2% to 12% chance

of resulting in a baby,

and the whole shebang is gonna cost you

upwards of $20,000.

20 grand? Yeah.

And all that money is usually wasted.

The vast majority of women who freeze their eggs

never actually use them because, again,

you can get pregnant in life later than you think.

You scammer.

Oh, oh, "snow."

That was awesome!

Truth is, Emily,

if you're in good health through your early 40s,

you don't really need to stress that much about fertility.

I've been planning my whole life around the idea

that we have to have a baby soon.

Well, you don't.

If you're not ready to have a kid now,

that's okay... you've got time.

Man, I feel so much better.

You know what? Why rush this?

We should just wait to get...

pregnant?

We're gonna be parents!

Sorry.

I'm pregnant.

There's a thing inside you.

Yeah, there's a... Yeah, it's pretty cool.

Ah, woof.

It just sucks I can't get nooched or do judo

for, like, nine months.

Kind of wish I could just, like, skip the pregnancy

and get right to the baby.

Oh, I can help with that!

Now, let's talk baby names.

Let me do it.

Oh... so you have a baby.

That happened fast.

I know.

I wonder if I'll ever have kids.

You know, I have been talking to a girl online.

Sure you have, bud.

Ooh, it's okay, heh.

Ah, wait.

Is that formula?

No, tell me you're breastfeeding.

Oh, um, well, I tried.

But he kind of was having a hard time latching at the hospital,

and the nurse says it was okay that I supplement, so...

Um, formula is toxic. You have to breastfeed.

Ugh, no way.

I hate when people breastfeed in public.

Do that at home, nobody wants to see that.

Um, excuse me?

It's totally natural, women have been doing it

for millions of years. Excuse you.

It's rude. Rude?

Nobody wants to see your exposed nudity.

Adam, help me.

Tell them which one is right.

Oh, oh, no way am I getting in the middle of this.

I heard formula has autism in it.

That's it!

Hi, Miss Murphy.

Hey, Patti.

How many kids do you knuckleheads have?

None.

Well, I have two, so shut up.

You, you're gonna tell a mom

where and when she can feed her baby?

Get a life!

Breastfeeding is normal, natural, and great.

Preach, sister.

And you, how dare you judge how a mom feeds her kid.

Formula isn't just healthy and safe,

it's a literal lifesaver.

Emily, let me show you.

Okay.

Knowledge from a primary source.

Oh, thank goodness. Can you help me?