Broken Flowers

Did you ever meet Don Juan?

Never. Not once!

Then why are you in mourning? Because I've never met him.

It's amazing. I had no idea my own funeral could be so delightful.

It certainly brought your career to a happy end. End?

Leave off while they still think of you as you were.

All these wrinkles, these lines, these gray hairs.

You'd spoil any party, even a funeral.

No, no, no, my friend. This is a great sight.

Women and women and women.

The eternal hunger of women for love.

I pretty much have all my stuff.

Looks like you got a love letter from one of your other girlfriends.

I don't have any other girlfriend, Sherry. Come on!

All right. I get it.

No, you don't. But it's okay.

That's the way you are. You're never going to change.

I just don't think I want to be with an-

an over-the-hill Don Juan anymore.

What do you want, Sherry?

What do you want, Don?

I mean, I'm like your mistress,

except you're not even married.

L-Look at your friend Winston next door.

It looks like they're having a great time.

Don't you ever want to have a family?

Well, is that what you want?

I don't know what I want, but I just want to figure it out by myself.

By yourself.

Yeah.

Maybe I'll call you sometime.

Sherry?

What are you but a female? Same as you!

Nobody asked you. He never kissed you. It was an impudent lie!

Yes, it was a lie. Don Juan told me so himself. It was only publicity.

He did not! Don't you-

And who are you to give orders here? Who am I?

Don Juan said I was the girl whose kiss he'd been seeking on a thousand women's lips!

I was the only one. He'd never love anybody else in his life!

Ha! He loved you so much that he went straight from you to another woman.

He loved me! And loathed young women like you.

Cat! Cow!

Snake! Pig!

Goat! Weasel!

Worm! No, no, no, no!

Yeah?

Hey, Winston.

You at work?

It's Saturday. Of course. Yeah.

No, I just got up.

What, you can't access the site?

Yeah. All right. I'll be right over.

Yes. Coffee would be good.

Will it be a cup of Ethiopian coffee?

Okay.

Good morning.

Morning, Don!

Hey, you two. Keep your eyes on the Cheerios.

How's the sweetest grape on the vine? I'm good.

Winston is in the back, on his computer,

in his office.

Irie.

Thank you, Don.

What's up, Winston? Hey, Don. Listen. I can't seem to access this site.

I need your computer expertise. Yeah? What is it?

It's like a whole system for breaking down the plots of detective fiction...

or the solution of crimes.

Y- Click.

Yes. You see?

And click. I tried before.

Stay calm. Click. Uh-

Go get 'em, Sherlock.

Cool, cool, cool.

Oh, this is my kind of information, man.

I love the Net.

The whole world of information- through the wall, click.

You sure you don't want a computer at your house? No.

Seems awful strange to me.

A man who made all of his money off of computers doesn't want to have one in his house.

Oh!

Cool. Cool. This is fascinating.

Supposedly, you can use this to write a mystery novel...

or to solve a complicated crime.

If-

Don.

You all right?

What?

Is something wrong?

Well, it's probably nothing.

Uh, a love letter from one of your lovely ladies.

Something like that.

I'll read it to you.

"Dear Don, sometimes life brings some strange surprises.

"It's been almost 20 years since we've seen each other,

"but now there's something I need to tell you.

"Years ago, after our story ended,

"I discovered I was pregnant.

"I decided to go through with the pregnancy, and I had a baby, a son.

"Your son.

"I decided to raise him by myself because our time together...

"had come to a close.

"My son is now almost 19.

"He's somewhat shy and secretive, unlike you,

"but a sensitive, wonderful person.

"A few days ago he left on a mysterious road trip,

"but I'm almost certain he's searching for his father.

"I've told him almost nothing about you,

"but he's resourceful and imaginative.

"Anyway, if this is, in fact, your correct address,

well, I just felt I should let you know."

There's no signature...

and no return address.

Hey, congratulations! You're a father.

Uh, you're really upset by this. C-Can I see it?

Your address is handwritten,

but printed.

Red ink on pink paper.

Typewriter.

A red ribbon. Curious.

"Dear Don, sometimes"-

Hmm.

Damn. This postmark is too faint to read. That's fucked up.

Tsk-tsk.

And you have no idea who this is from?

Nope.

None.

But from all I know,

you are like, uh- like Don Juan or something.

Don Juan.

I gotta go.

You want me to keep the letter for forensic evidence or... clues?

Or- Don.

Hmm.

Hey, it's me.

I see that.

It's kind of lonely in here, man.

Do you mind?

Is Sherry coming home? No.

She left.

What do you mean, "She left"? She went on a trip?

No. I mean, she left.

Sorry, man.

Yeah, me too. I think.

Well, but knowing Sherry, she probably hasn't played her last card yet. Right?

Probably not.

Anyway, you've never had trouble finding interesting females.

I mean, uh, that's the way your life has been though. Right?

You're like, uh- like Don Juan.

Winston, please stop saying that.

Hey.

About this letter- I did examine the postmark under my microscope.

And it is too faint to read, but the stamp-

it's got on it a woodpecker.

What does that mean to you? Anything?

Well, what I think we should do...

is to narrow down the possibilities.

Winston, this is probably someone playing a joke on me.

If not, then...

whatever.

It seems so unfair- someone to write a letter like this...

and-and-and not sign it?

Don't you want to know who is the mother of your son?

My hypothetical son? No, Winston.

I don't, okay?

Okay.

Then we can just drop it. We can?

We can, of course. Okay.

Good. It's dropped.

But then how can you ignore something like this?

- You need to treat this as a sign. - What kind of sign?

Of the direction of your life.

Of this present moment.

You need to solve this mystery...

and find out which of your women it was that you impregnated with your semen 20 years ago.

Winston.

What happened to that groovin' CD I burned for you?

Here it is. Do you mind?

Ah, that's nice. Ethiopian sounds.

It's good for the heart.

Look, come over tomorrow for, uh, Sunday brunch,

and, uh, we'll talk a little further about our investigative plan, huh?

So I'll leave that right there.

Go home and leave me alone.

Okay, man. I love you too.

I think your father's real name is Sam Spade.

My father isn't Sam Spade.

No? Think he's Sherlock Holmes?

No.

Well, I know he's one of those famous detectives. Mike Hammer!

No, not Mike Hammer.

Oh, I know. He's that Dolemite guy. Right?

No, not Dolemite. No?

He's down.

Keep your eyes open. He may be Dolemite. No!

Mona,

thank you.

That was so delicious. You're welcome. Anytime.

Really? Mm-hmm.

What time's dinner?

You are the most perfect woman in the world.