The Chaser's War on Everything

To the new IAM was the chaser team has been dismissed. We hope you enjoyed the series. Good night!

I'm not sure TV studios the safest place for you guys to be hiding right now.

It's typical of the ABC to be harboring, you know, refugee.

Just there everywhere.

The thing about this story was, like, I'm all for Commonwealth Games athletes going missing.

I was just sorry that it wasn't these two who weren't missing.

Why could I get a Gledis?

And you see how quickly the government granted these athletes bridging visas.

Normally with refugees, you know, lock him up for years and these guys are good at sport.

Come on in.

Normally when Howard sees a refugee, he sees a terrorist.

This time he just saw more gold medals for a strieter in Beijing.

He's trying to invade.

Also, this week, the government's new IR laws took effect,

making it easier for bosses to unfairly dis me stuff.

And your channel non-still wouldn't use the powers to get rid of Bert.

So.

What's been amazing, too, is how little anger there's been about these laws.

I mean, there's been a few protests,

but nothing like the ones we've seen in France is going off.

I mean, they introduced similar laws there.

Look at that there.

Water cannons going there, torching cars in the streets.

Not turning cars, prices haven't behaved like that since they heard cleaner arena was moving there.

Exactly.

So given our new laws are more sweeping than France's,

I hit the streets to see if we could French up our protests.

You can turn about the government's new industrial relations laws.

I guess so.

You are?

You don't think the protests against them?

Not yet, no.

We're trying to teach people the French methods of protest.

This is what they recently did last couple of years.

It's been your early days.

Have you overturned a car yet?

And not yet, no.

Have you set anything alive?

Nothing yet, no, sorry.

No wonder they didn't hear your message.

This is what they did.

I think that's a good plan.

Well, then we'll have it.

We come over here.

I can go to the car for you.

You got a bit of a petal here for me.

If you just turn that over and set it alive, we'll just watch.

If you got some petal for me, I'm all going.

No, thank you.

I might be a party.

You don't do the French way.

No, no, the French are a bit dramatic.

Should we turn this car over?

Yes, she would.

Should we turn it over and set it alive?

Of course not, man.

Why not?

You turn this car over.

Well, look at that.

See, that wasn't too hard, was it?

Now let's try the big one.

This is?

Yes.

Oh, look.

Take that, John Howard.

We're trying to one of the cabs over here now.

Yeah?

You think we can get it over?

Oh, I can't.

Sorry, we're just trying to turn the car over.

We're just protesting many laws.

Should we like the car?

No, I like a big mess.

You don't like the car?

See, that's the Australian way of protesting.

We don't like to make a mess with your protest.

It's very unfrench.

Well, see, this is where we need to protest

in their violence.

Oh, OK.

Gandhi's way.

All right.

I think they're getting the message.

It's good.

You done it.

You've recreated it.

It doesn't quite match the picture, don't you?

We need to be kicking it.

We're going to be kicking it.

I'm sure I've made a difference.

Yeah, exactly.

I've done more of the Australian workers.

See, it doesn't make a change.

I'll be back for this.

OK.

Well, it's revolution.

I'm going to be a wild woman straighter, right?

You just...

I'd work as a grandma.

So I'm going to have you heard about this,

but in Britain, their fast food giant, McDonald's,

is now offering family contracts for its staff.

Which basically means if you can't turn up here,

shift, you can send one of the members of your family.

It could be your mum or your aunt.

And look, I reckon it's a great idea.

And we looked into it a bit and discovered it's not only McDonald's,

so we're using these family contracts,

like, correct, you'd just say, late line this week.

I guess so.

Tiny Jones was off-six.

So he got his seven-year-old son, Lucian, to do the show for him.

I'll send him off and call him to Alexander Downer,

but first, the growing debate over nursing homes.

There you go.

Good, he's in the club.

He's much better than I'll do.

No.

I have to go to the dentist this week.

I have a filly putty, and I tell you what,

it's scary the best of times.

You look up and see the dentist's four-year-old son's performing

the procedure. It's bloody scary.

Well, he thought that was bad.

That's nothing. I was at my favourite strip club last Saturday.

Imagine my horror when I found out that Roxy wasn't working that night,

and that she'd run up her 82-year-old Nana to do the show for him.

I mean, I got a hell of a shock still.

You know?

You've got to be a little bit open-minded when it comes to these things,

and in the end, 80 years of experience,

you're not going to turn that down, are you?

Well, talk about honouring a family contract.

She was an answer to an even asker Ivotsav.

A water trading is good for those that own water rights.

Your constituency.

Mr Turnbull, I know you're not averse to addressing matters outside your portfolio.

So can I ask you, in science and nature,

I.O. is a moon of which gaseous planet?

I think it will stick to water, thanks very much.

Come on, there's only a few planets. Come on, come on.

This is a water.

The answer was Jupiter. There's no water back.

Hello, I'm interested in seeing a movie,

but I can't decide which one there are so many on.

When a stranger calls, they on Flux,

pink pant, the drama, Tristan and his older D-Rail,

cousin over Munich, walk the lone rent and jahed,

what non-believeable range of titles.

It's incredible. And look at this censorship ratings range.

P-G-G-M-M-A-R.

Everything from family, fun to full-frontal nudity.

But I hope these movies don't last too long,

because I absolutely must go home before midnight tonight.

Well, it's been another bad week for Cyclones,

with Cyclone Glenda battering the Pilbara region

in Western Australia.

I always think they should come up with some more menacing names

for these Cyclones. I mean, Cyclone Glenders.

Very hard to be scared by something named after your great auntie.

Absolutely.

I've always been surprised that in this age of corporate marketing,

that a company's never tried to buy the naming rights

to a Cyclone Glenda.

What will they do? That would be like an ad.

It would be like Cyclone Microsoft.

It'll make your windows crash.

Absolutely. Absolutely.

It's the perfect opportunity to get your brand out there.

So I decided to take this idea to some of our top companies,

particularly those with a proven association with Doom and Desimation.

No, I...

Good, thank you.

Excellent.

Yes, yeah, yeah.

We're hoping to respect this sponsorship officer,

because we've got an exciting corporate branding opportunity for you.

We're selling naming rights to the next tropical Cyclone in Australia.

We're just wondering whether you'd like it to be called

Tropical Cyclone NAB.

What do you think?

At least you've got a sense of humour.

Well, that's absolutely right.

So you consider it?

No.

Probably not something we've looked at straight away.

It could really put you on the map, even as it takes other towns off the map.

That's great.

Alright.

We're selling naming rights to the next tropical Cyclone.

We thought Telstra might be interested.

What do you reckon?

Oh, look at guys are very busy up there making a lot of repairs and things.

Well, it'd be good for business.

I think...

Well, as we branded on the way in with a big washer...

Maybe office might take it on.

Sure.

And I know where to be seen up there.

We've got a sponsorship proposal for you.