The Office

Hey. Ready?

Come on! Show me excited.

- Yes! - Yeah. I'm pretty excited too.

Today I'm headed over to the Job Fair at Valley View High School

to find some new interns.

Wanna get some fresh blood...

youthanize this place.

- We doin' this thing? - Yeah.

Oh, my god, Darryl.

You look like Barack Obama. Everybody, I'm dating Barack Obama.

- Why you dressed like that? - Like what?

Like you're applying for a loan.

Maybe he's going to church. Or court.

Figured I'd look presentable.

You... went a different way.

- You look nice. - Thank you.

Here's what we're going to do.

I'm going to instruct the kids about management and sales.

Oscar will be in charge of accounting.

Pam will be eye candy.

No, and also because that is your alma mater.

Darryl will hire some kids for the warehouse.

No need to worry with them because they definitely ain't goin' to college.

What college did you go to, Mike?

Let's go!

Transcript: SwSub Sync: DarKsh

Today I am meeting a potential client on the golf course because...

Ryan put me on probation.

You remember Ryan. He was the temp here.

Yeah. And...

It is not a good time for me to lose my job since I have some...

pretty big long-term plans in my personal life with Pam

that I'd like her parents to be psyched about.

So I am about to do something very bold at this job

that I've never done before...

Try.

Mr. Maguire. It's been a couple of years.

Hey, Jim, how are ya? Nice to see you, man.

Oh, no! No, no, no, no, no.

My grandfather would be spinning in his urn

if he knew that I was out here with a Dartmouth boy.

You take that shirt off right now, or I will take it off for you, sir.

I am totally

and completely kidding!

Andy Bernard. Cornell, '95.

Phil Maguire, Dartmouth, '74.

- Got some blisties. - Yeah, you do.

Hit about 1,200 balls last night in preparation for today,

so hands are a little tender.

It's actually not funny at all. It's incredibly painful.

Let's make it interesting. Say... 10 bucks a hole?

- Great. - What are we talkin'?

Skins? Acey deucy? Bingo bango bongo?

Sandies, barkies, arnies?

Wolf? What?

I'm gonna take

this petty cash that I got from Oscar

and turn it into next month's rent.

So many memories in this old gym.

Pretending I have PMS so I didn't have to play volleyball.

Pretending I have PMS so I didn't have to play basketball.

Those were the days.

Little over the top, don't you think?

Show 'em what you brought, Mike.

- That's all we brought. - This is all we need.

- We'll see. - Yes, we will see, Oscar.

We will see, because a blank sheet of paper

equals endless possibilities.

Conceptual. All right.

We are...

open for business.

Hello.

- Andy, you're up. Let's go. - Giddy-up. Let's do this.

People assume I'm great at golf, but like everybody,

I hated golf lessons when I was a kid, so...

I used to just hang out with the sailing club instead.

Got my knot on.

Damn it!

Guys, do we have to stay all day?

I mean, Michael's gone. Can't we just go?

Yeah. And I finished my work months ago.

Excuse me, people.

It has come to my attention that some of you have forgotten

who is in charge here.

When Michael is gone,

Jim is in charge.

When Jim is gone, Andy and I are in charge.

When Andy is gone, you answer to me.

Okay?

Excuse me, where do you think you're going?

Oh, no, no. You're not leaving.

No! Stanley.

Do not walk out that door!

If you walk out that door, so help me, I will...

He left.

Last time I checked,

the american workday ends at 5:00 P.M.

You will all stay at your desks until that time

or you will suffer the consequences.

What consequences?

I will tell on you.

There's some filing, restocking the supply shelves,

replacing the water jug, which nobody likes to do.

We...

- eat a lot of cake. - Cool.

Yeah, and... you know, you basically, you learn how an office runs.

- Hello. - So...

Hi. Can I talk to you for a sec?

- Excuse me. - This is Michael, my boss. Justin.

Hey... remember what we talked about

in the car on the way out?

"Only the best and the brightest"?

He's nice, and he seems interested.

He's totally wrong, Pam.

- Hi. - How you doin'?

Listen, I don't think

that a handsome, funny, smart,

funny-looking kid like you should limit himself.

You could do whatever you wanna do. You could be a classy janitor

or a cashier with dignity or a...

migraine worker.

Maybe for you, paper should be more of a hobby.

- Sorry for wasting your time. - Oh, no problem.

And he signed!

He put his name on the piece of...

Okay, that...

was supposed to be a blank canvas on which to put their hopes and dreams,

and he just...

made it into a stupid piece of paper.

We need another one immediately.

Yeah. The booth is lame without it.

- I only brought the one. - Are you mental?

Michael, do you remember you specifically told me

to only bring one sheet of paper?

You said it only takes one sheet to make a difference.

And I said, "Are you sure, Michael?" And you said, "Pam, Pam, Pam."

And then you sneezed in my tea.

And then you said, "Don't worry. It's allergies." Do you remember that?

I... don't.

Okay. I'll go look for another one.

And that...

is why I need a smart intern.

So... how's the direct mail business going?

I can't complain. People love their junk mail.

Now, are you gettin' all your paper from PPC, or...

You know what, Jim? I'm not really looking to change things up right now.

I just came out here to get out of the office,

so why don't we just play, okay?

Absolutely. Will do.

So I guess I'll just...

work on my short game.

Hello, there.

What is this company?

Well, it's funny that you should ask, because it's really...

- more than a company. - Dunder Mifflin. Paper.

- Thanks. - It...

Okay...

Damn it, Oscar!

Yeah, I'm trying to lure these kids into my booth.

But...

kids are very wary of being lured these days.

Thank you, dateline.

Thank you.

- Extension 128. - Hiya, pumpkin. It's Creed.

Say we're gonna ditch this bitch... You in?

- No. - You out?

Pumpkin's out! Let's go, gang.

My old art room.

Oh! Maybe it's still here.

No.

No, they must have taken it down. Never mind.

- What do you want? - Michael, I know you're swamped.

I just thought you should know that everyone in the office has left

except for Angela and I.

Do not worry, though.

I have taken down their names, and I have docked them a personal day.

Who cares? I'm not there, neither's Jim. Why should they have to be there?

So... what else is up?

Mich...

Thank you!

Wha... What is this?