Cosmic Princess Kaguya! (超かぐや姫！)

STARTING SOON!

Once, long, long ago...

Huh?

Or... not long, long ago?

In the far distant future, perhaps?

TSUKUYOMI

No, no.

Neither the ancient past, nor the distant future...

In a world much like now,

just a little bit in the future...

Oh, crap!

On it.

Your aim's incredible, Iroha!

SAME AS 4 SERVINGS OF PASTA DON'T WASTE THEM!!

You're a total pro!

You betcha.

There lived an ordinary game-playing high school girl.

The girl and her mother got along quite dreadfully,

and so she journeyed to Tokyo to live on her own.

Day after day, she toiled away at her part-time job,

paying her own expenses and tuition

and earning just enough to get by. - No, thank you!

At school, she was renowned for her brilliance, beauty and talent,

a model student admired by all her peers.

Sakayori?

Sir! "Hisashiku narinu" combines the continuative form of the verb "naru"

with the perfective particle "nu."

That's exactly right.

That was close!

Thank goodness no one noticed I was passed out with my eyes open!

In her spare time...

she brushed up on her studies, worshipped her idol,

cried herself to sleep, played video games...

YACHIYO RUNAMI VR CONCERT

...and worshipped her idol some more, day in and day out.

IROHA SAKAYORI

This girl was known by the name of Iroha Sakayori.

Let's just call her Iroha.

I mean, if I get stuck focusing on how good I've got it,

then I'll end up trapped. - Yikes!

Obviously, it's really great to be able to recognize other people's hardships,

but first, just take a deep breath.

When things are rough, it's okay to--

Then, one day in the busy life of hardworking Iroha...

Let's see...

On her way home!

OVER 100 MILLION USERS! WELCOME TO TSUKUYOMI

Come say hi anytime! - The long weekend's finally here.

I'll finally get six whole hours of sleep tonight.

YACHIYO RUNAMI

Kogarete yamanakatta The one I always longed to be with

Dareka no se ga The one I longed to see

Tooku ni ittemo Is oh so far away from here

Nukarumu mizutamari But though the world is gray and muddy

Kawaite itsuka wa The puddles dry, and soon enough

Zujou ni niji kakaru A rainbow shines above us all

Poor Iroha was at her very limit.

Naosou jitensha o But we can fix it up again

Shiorete shimattara The flowers all are wilted now

Mizu yarou hanabira But we can give them water still

Anata no sekai wa I promise this is not the end

A shooting star!

May Mikado's wish come true!

A wish...

Money.

Taisetsu na merodii wa A sweet and precious melody

Nagareteru yo Is flowing through the air

Anata no haato ni Down to you and into your heart

Kodou no you todaezu ni Flowing on and on like a beating pulse

Afureteru yo And ringing everywhere

When Iroha arrived home, to her surprise,

there stood a telephone pole shining in the rainbow hues of a gaming PC!

Perplexed, she drew closer.

Guess I'm hallucinating.

A light shone out from the telephone pole.

It's not taking no for an answer.

And Iroha replied thusly...

Sorry! I've just got a lot going on right now.

Please excuse me!

Like I even give a crap anymore!

Okay, maybe it's kinda dangerous out here.

Should I take her to the cops?

How're you supposed to hold a baby?

Wait! Hey!

Excuse me! You forgot this!

Wait, now it totally looks like I kidnapped her!

No way, no way!

There, there.

What do I do?

BANG!

That's the first time I've had anyone bang on the wall.

There, there! It's okay! Don't be scared.

BANG BANG

HOW TO STOP BABY CRYING

She won't stop crying.

Sing a lullaby. Do I know any lullabies?

No, I definitely don't.

Taisetsu na merodii wa A sweet and precious melody

Nagareteru yo Is flowing through the air

Anata no Down to you

Haato ni And into your heart

Is there anything Yachiyo can't do?

Thank goodness!

But what do I do now?

I have an incident to report, I think?

You see, I found a glowing rainbow telephone pole,

and a child came out of it.

A baby.

Sorry, I'm not making much sense, am I?

It doesn't make much sense to me either.

No, it's fine! Everything's fine now!

Sorry to bother you!

Yes! Thank you very much!

I'm exhausted.

So it wasn't a hallucination.

Wait, was she always this big?

She's all wet!

For real?

BABY GOODS NISHITAKEYA

No way!

Why are diapers so expensive?

Your total comes to 13,243 yen.

Fuju~pay, please.

¥23,532

Why is this happening to me?

No, I'm just not going to think about it until the weekend's over.

You don't understand anything!

Well, everything's moving at a faster pace these days.

It's heavy.

A JOURNEY TO TSUKUYOMI

Hey, I'm hungry.

Understood.

I want milk.

I'll have that ready for you right away, ma'am.

You scared me.

Please leave.

Also, what the hell? Why'd you get so big so fast? I'm scared!

Well, everything's moving at a faster pace these days.

No mysterious life-forms allowed in this apartment.

C'mon, move!

Don't wanna!

Are you okay?

My head hurts! Help me!

I don't have time to help out kids.

GRUMBLE

Help me?

594 yen.

Five meals' worth.

Also, it's 2:00 in the morning.

Here.

This is amazing! What is it?

It's omurice I guess.

Omurice? I love it!

People have a lot to say about age gaps... - So, where'd you come from?

...but personally, I love seeing those sorts of friendships in movies!

As long as you can find common ground... - The moon?

I guess?

So what's an alien doing here? You going to invade?

I don't really remember it all that well,

but basically, every day was super boring,

so I wanted to run away to somewhere more fun, I think!

Don't run away from stuff.

Why not?

By the way, does this ring any bells for you?

What's this? - The Tale of the Bamboo Cutter.

A princess from the moon comes out of a bamboo stalk,

an old man picks her up and raises her,

people fight for her hand in marriage and stuff.

Marriage?

You came out of a telephone pole instead of a bamboo stalk,

but are you actually Princess Kaguya?

Hey.

What were you saying again?

So are you this old man, Iroha?

Are you seeing me 80 years in the future? Of course I'm not!

Also, how do you know my name?

Anyway, this isn't how Princess Kaguya acts at all!

I mean...

So, what happens in the story?

Her people come to take her home.

The humans fight to keep her, but they lose.

The princess is dressed in her feather robe,

she forgets all about Earth, and she goes home.

Where's the rest?

That's it. Happily ever after.

What? She goes back to the moon, that's it?

What the hell? That's totally the bad ending!

There's no way Princess Kaguya's happy like that!

And the way they're making it sound neat and tidy ticks me off even more!

That's how the story goes.

I don't want the bad ending!

Gimme a happy ending!

There's nothing you can do about it. Screaming and singing won't help.

You can't change the way things are.

You've just got to live with it.

That's all.

Another mouth ulcer!

My long weekend went down the drain in no time.

All right! I've decided!

I'll make my own happy ending!