Clay Pigeons

I can't miss.

You gotta get yourself one of these, buddy.

Let me see that son of a bitch.

I tell ya, them fuckin' Germans...

Boy, they know how to make a fuckin' gun, don't they?

It's Italian. Yeah, whatever.

Finish your beer and hang it up. I feel hot.

All right.

Hey, I got an easy shot for you.

Christ, you know better than to point that fuckin' thing at me.

I hear you been sleepin' with my wife!

- Who told you that? - Amanda!

Amanda. That's right.

Now, why... why would she say something like that?

What?

I want to know.

I don't think that matters right now, Clay.

I don't believe she told you. What are you...

Well, she did...

In great detail, Mr. Like to Do It from Behind.

You know, Earl, this... this is fucking crazy.

- I don't know what Amanda's been telling you or why...

I don't think you appreciate the seriousness of this conversation!

Goddamn it!

Now...

Come on, Earl. You're...

You're not gonna shoot me. No?

Now, I know you, buddy. And...

You can't kill a deer, so just...

Put the gun down.

Just... Put it down.

You're right.

The fact is...

you're gonna shoot me.

Now I'm a little confused.

I can't stop thinkin' about it, Clay.

Ever since she told me.

She was a virgin when we was married.

Nah. I remember her being a little wild in high school.

You're straying! Now pick up the gun!

You know, you're making way too much of this.

I mean, we're both a little too fuckin' drunk. Let's sober up a little.

This is a little out of fuckin' control, don't you think?

I can't have the whole goddamn town knowin' what happened!

And it ain't easy for me, you bein' my best friend and all,

but you're gon' pay, you son of a bitch.

Not with your life, but you're gonna do some time.

That's for sure.

Now, Earl...

You're... You're a little out of it right now.

- Yeah, you think so? - You're a little out of your mind.

- Right now, yes, you're a little fuckin' crazy. - Oh, yeah? Crazy?

Crazy enough to tell people we was comin' up here shootin' today?

Crazy enough to tell Amanda that me and you was gonna have it out...

over this here very issue?

Crazy enough to bring both of the trucks up here?

'Cause it'll be one thing to hide my body.

It's gon' be another thing getting both these trucks outta here.

I thought it all out, Clay.

Now be a man and pick up the gun.

Earl, I'm not gonna pick up the gun.

Earl.

Good luck explaining me dying with a bullet from your gun, buddy.

Put the gun down.

I bet you don't think I got the nerve, do ya?

You got the nerve. You got the fuckin' nerve!

But you're scaring the shit out of me!

Jesus Christ!

Earl! Put the fucking gun down!

That's gonna rule out the suicide angle, lover boy!

It's not worth it! She doesn't mean shit to me!

I don't fucking care about her!

Just don't fucking do this!

No!

What are you doin'?

She's not worth it!

She's not fuckin' worth it!

Crazy son of a bitch.

There's more.

What do you mean there's more?

How can there be more?

You're not gonna believe this, but,

he set it up to make it look like I did it.

And why the hell would he do that?

Because of you and me.

You can leave me out of this.

Leave you out of this?

Amanda, I need your help.

That's the only way anybody will believe me.

I said leave me out of it!

Don't do this to me. Not now.

Look, I want nothin' to do with it, all right?

I can't have people all over town talkin' about us.

Jesus Christ, Amanda. Because of us, Earl...

Look, the crazy motherfucker got what he wanted, it sounds like to me.

I'm sorry, Clay,

and I do hope it turns out all right and all that.

But as far as I'm concerned,

I didn't see you today or any other day.

I'll still tell them.

Go ahead. I'll just deny it.

I mean, who are they gonna believe?

You or the widow?

Oh, god-fuckin'-damn it.

You want to catch that, Barney?

Barney!

Sheriff's Station. Mooney here.

It's all burnt to hell.

Let's get around the other side.

He went off right over there?

Yeah, over there.

That's his boot sittin' on the transmission.

Tell me the truth, Clay.

Was he drinking?

Mooney, it's Sunday.

Yeah.

You ever know Earl to be sober on a Sunday?

Ain't a whole hell of a lot left.

You want me to call the coroner?

He's in Wyoming, fishing.

Well, we gotta call somebody.

To tell us what?

I always knew that drunken son of a bitch...

was gonna kill himself one day.

"And I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

Ashes to ashes, dust to dust."

How about gettin' me one, cowboy?

Where's your car?

In the garage.

Gotta keep up appearances, baby.

What are you doing here?

What do you mean? It's Wednesday.

So what?

So we always do it on Wednesday.

- You can't be serious. - Why not?

Amanda, the body isn't even cold yet.

Yeah, well...

It got too hot to ever get cold.

You saw to that, didn't you, cowboy?

Shut up.

I'm just teasing you, baby.

I must say you impressed me though, Clay.

It was pretty, slick the way you handled that.

Yeah, well, I wouldn't have had to...

if you'd just told the fuckin' truth.

Now don't start.

I just... didn't know what to do.

I figured it'd be better if you did the thinking for both of us.

Now come on.

Kick off those boots and come to mama.

What is wrong with you?

What do you mean, what the fuck is wrong with me?

He's dead! We don't have to sneak around anymore, baby.

We can do whatever the fuck we want.

Do you not get it?

Earl killed himself over you.

So what? He was crazy.

I mean it.

You will be, too, if you try and make any more out of it than that.

Now...

Come on. Come on.

We can use the video camera. Come on.

You know, we are not just gonna pick up where we left off.

I mean, people would talk.

And I know how you hate that.

Fine.

But I ain't waitin' long, Clay.

I'm a single fuckin' woman now,

and this town ain't exactly blessed with eligible fuckin' bachelors.

We never made any plans, you and I. Never.

Yeah.

Maybe not.

But there's a bond between us.

Earl saw to that.

Now zip me.

Hey, slick. Oh, hey, Glen.

How about a game?

I don't know. Come on, man.

I got no competition here.

You want some competition? I want some competition.

All right.

- Too good. - Well, it was an easy shot.

You're drinkin' Bud, right?

You know it.

Ever do it on a pool table?

What are you doing here?

You aren't still sore, are you?

Let's just,

start fresh.

We're not starting anything.

You don't mean that.

Excuse me.

You're forgettin' how... good I can make you feel.

Keep your hands off me.

Someone's touchy.

It's been a while, hasn't it,

since you done it with a... real woman?

And I know all the buttons to push.

Don't I, cowboy?

Damn it.