Magical Girl Friendship Squad

I have called this meeting

to discuss a pressing issue.

This apartment is disgusting.

- Looks fine to me. - Actually, kind of neat today.

I propose we adopt a solution

I saw employed on the program The Real World:

a chore wheel.

No fucking way.

Wait... Yeah. Why should we have to vacuum?

It's your fur all over everything.

How many times must I remind you about my lack of thumbs?

And yet, you can make a chore wheel.

This is bullshit.

I don't have to follow your made-up rules,

- and I'm not gonna. - Whoa, Dais. Chill.

Daisy, growing up, you were angry

that your parents demanded your participation

in the Church of the Savior's Unthinkable Torment.

Now you instinctively rebel against authority.

And whose fault is that?

If I'm angry at anyone, it should be you,

for making such a fucked-up world!

Stupid mess, getting in the way of my moody door slam.

Yikes.

Maybe I should stay home

from the women's empowerment conference

- and make sure she's okay. - Certainly not.

This is an important opportunity for you to gather intel

about Aggregon's energy hoarding.

Why do you always have to tell me the plan

I helped come up with?

Think she knows everything just because she's a talking panda.

"For Nut only.

"Absolutely do not drink this, Alex and Daisy,

even if we have an argument and you want to get back at me."

Hmm. Weirdly specific. This will show her.

"Ooh, I'm Nut, and I know everything about Daisy.

"She's so predictable just because her parents

"made her go to bed at 5:00 p.m.

"to shield her from the gaudiness of street lamps.

"If I just made the world a little better,

"Daisy could've been...

...totally different."

Hi, Corvin. I thought this was only for female employees.

It's called being an ally.

You'll need to sign up now for your afternoon elective.

Do you want the workshop on pitching your voice deeper

to be taken more seriously,

the seminar on the most slimming power poses

- or speed mentoring? - Speed mentoring?

Two minutes each with higher-level female execs

and, since there aren't that many,

a few male execs' wives.

I'll do that one. I guess.

Where's all my stuff that I keep on the floor?

It's on the shelves? Gross.

- Alex? Nut? - Hey, sleepyhead.

Hey, random hookup.

Very funny.

It's me, Pansy.

Your monogamous, live-in girlfriend?

Oh, my God.

Nut's magic tea made me basic?

Ready to go to your parents'?

My parents? They're at their church bunker

preparing for the end of times like every other weekend.

Um, no, they're next door.

We have lunch with them every day.

Their stable marriage is the model

that taught you about relationships.

There's our favorite girls.

Who wants Arnold Palmers?

So, we eat lunch and then do a flogging circle

as punishment for nourishing ourselves?

No, silly. We play Scrabble.

You're a riot,

daughter whose kooky sense of humor we fully appreciate.

Wow. You're really, really normal.

Daisy!

If it isn't my long-lost sister.

Gloriana. Just calling to catch up.

Tell me what you need.

My human guardian drank the last of my teleportation tea,

and now she's stuck in your copycat world.

Can you please find her and give her your tea to send her home?

Ooh, I'm kind of slammed today.

Fine, I'll offer the tea.

But I won't force her to take it

if she prefers my world to yours.

Must everything be a competition?

"Must everything be a competition?"

We are not doing the copycat game.

"We are not doing the copycat game."

Okay. Love you.

Okay. Buh-bye.

So, what are your goals?

I just want to keep making that cash money, right?

Speaking of goals,

what do you know about Aggregon

that may or may not be public information?

I meant your personal goals.

If you want a family, you better start planning now.

You know, employees can freeze their eggs for free

in the Sandberg Ballroom.

- Uh... - Ladies, switch mentors.

Hi, there. What do you know

about the company's energy research?

Have you frozen your eggs yet?

Not that this company isn't great for working moms.

They gave me two weeks of maternity leave

and then replaced me with another woman

and brought me back as her assistant, so...

More jobs for women?

Hi. Uh, sorry to interrupt.

Oh. Uh, cool. Thanks.

I guess.

The free egg freezing sounds cool.

Or like the company's trying to get us all

to put off having babies so we can keep working here.

Right?

Alex, is it?

Let me give you some advice.

Being a woman in a man's world means making sacrifices.

Oh, totally. I-I was just joking about...

You're in the outrage department,

isn't that right?

Yeah. My background's in programming, but...

Sounds like you're being underutilized.

You know, the most important aspect of leadership

is squeezing all you can out of your employees.

They're the best resource in the world.

Thanks. Um, I-I mean...

Move along.

Oops! Sorry.

BRB.

Bathroom break.

Hmm.

Nut.