Blasted (Blasted: Gutta vs Aliens)

Run! Hurry, let's run! Let's run! Come on!

Oh fuck!

HESSDALEN WAS A COMPLETELY ORDINARY NORWEGIAN MOUNTAIN VALLEY

UNTIL THE INHABITANTS DISCOVERED INEXPLICABLE LIGHTS IN THE SKY

- Do you see that? - Oh my gosh!

I'm filming it!

I got it on tape.

SCIENTISTS FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD HAVE SOUGHT OUT THIS VALLEY,

BUT THE LIGHTS REMAIN A MYSTERY...

NETFLIX PRESENTS

So, my name is Stine Lyongo.

I operate the Hessdalen Observatory, which...

Yeah, Stine? That's great.

But, like, what's really going on here?

I need something, uh...

- Yes? - Little more...

Maybe we should mention

that I'm the first female administrator at the observatory?

Maybe that could be an... interesting angle?

Angle.

Yeah. Let's change the angle, and we'll go right at it.

Sources say science has apparently fallen flat

here at Hessdalen.

- No, we're right at the epicenter of... - Despite theories on the Internet.

Even including aliens.

So, tell us your favorite theory.

The bioluminescent reaction for microorganisms...

Cool. You hear that, guys?

Super exciting.

So keep on watching.

Learn something new every time with Smartweek.

Uh, promo code is "MysteryLady," in one word.

You know that.

Keepin' it fun.

Okay, guys, this is it. The cave.

We're going in.

- We're goin' in. - Yeah? Yeah.

I'm down.

Very exciting stuff.

Hmm. That's weird.

Huh?

Uh, what's weird?

What the hell?

Hold this.

Okay.

Yeah. So we're looking at some stones.

Ooh. What's that?

Fuck.

Like and subscribe, guys.

Uh, Mystery Lady is here... investigating a mystery.

Uh, maybe we should go.

Go... further in.

Yeah. So, um, guys, we found some kind of... room.

Oh fuck.

This keeps getting better and better.

Green goop.

Here's some green goop.

Maybe it's...

Could be spider goop.

Stine. Stine?

Hello?

Hi?

Okay.

How many fingers?

Five? Good.

Really good.

Oh my God. Okay.

Okay, guys.

This is an insane fucking mystery, man. I don't know what's happening.

Stine?

Bam!

Can I have...?

For you. Don't panic.

For you too.

- Oh, hi. - Hey. Hi, chief.

So why exactly are you here today, Kasper Kielland?

You... feel that I am... unique.

That I have the scoop on ideas... Shit!

Oh, fuck. Sorry.

Fuckin' shit.

"Scoop. Scoop."

Does "scoop" excite you?

"Coup," maybe. Only with a voice. Pfft.

Hey.

Uh, "coup," "occupation," "annexation," uh, "through force,"

"forcefully taking control."

When you hear the masterstroke...

...of genius I teed up for you...

Not so high.

Today we're teaming up on an investment opportunity...

- Here's the deck, double-stapled. - Great. That's lovely.

And here.

- Green tea, agave syrup. - Ooh.

A fab system.

Has to be perfect.

It will. It'll be perfect.

Okay, bro.

Do you wanna say something?

I'm not supposed to, but...

...okay.

There's something else that's gonna be perfect.

Okay.

Your bachelor party.

Tomorrow, you and your best buds head to a cabin in...

...Hessdalen.

Uh, but...

- Hmm? - Uh...

Board games, buddies, sing-alongs, lots of toys, quizzes...

- Tomorrow? Uh, you mean... - Yeah. It's for the weekend.

You'll love it. It's where I spend every single summer.

And of course, there are the famous Hessdalen lights.

- Hessdalen lights? - Yeah. Hmm?

Maybe we'll solve the mystery, hmm?

Huh?

Ah...

- How's it goin'? - Hello.

- Hi, Pelle. - Hi.

The topic?

This guy's bachelor party.

- Yep. - Yeah?

- Huh? - Oh, yeah. You can't wait?

Uh, I can't go outta town this weekend, Audun.

I just can't.

Really? Are you sure?

So, it'll... be you and me, huh?

Look, I've been working on this deal for how many years now?

- Six. - Six years.

So, come on. I can't just go out partying right now. I mean...

Look, I really appreciate the idea. I love it.

But for the first time, I'm trying something on my own.

- Something that I... - Yeah.

If I could land Kasper Kielland, it would change...

Kasper... Kasper's here. He's here.

- Hmm? - Him.

Who's that?

Satan. Okay, this is... It's happening.

- It's happening. - You got this.

- Yeah. - So got this.

Okay. Pulse. Wow.

- My pulse? - You got this. You've got this.

Go on. Stick it to him.

Okay.

It's time to kick ass.

Stick it to him!

So, basically, by relying on our proprietary Sharp

for quantitative methods,

we generally can outperform conventional investing metrics.

Especially with...

- Yeah, uh... - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Buddy.

Take a little time out.

- You are way deep under the bloody hood. - Yes.

So, pull out your tiny head and try to see the whole vehicle.

Vehicle. Yes, uh, of course, Kasper Kielland.

You're referring to, uh...

Isn't it obvious? Whole thing.

- With more. With more snap, flash. - Yep.

With more sex. Wet sex.

- In the face. 'Cause this is dry. - Okay.

I, uh... Oh, right. I, uh...

- Carry on. - Turn around for two minutes, buddy.

- And plug your ears, will ya? - 'Kay.

- Kasper? - Hush. I want Tom Cruise.

Not bloody Rain Man. This guy's limited.

- Two minutes. - You see it? Ten seconds.

'Kay, buddy. Carry on.

- Huh? - Go.

Go? More, uh, flash.

You want flash? I've got flash.

Boom. Um, so...

Whoo! Okay. Thank you.

Sir? There's still more. It's the good part.

- Uh, should I go after him? - What do you think?

Yep. Better do just that.

Uh, Kasper Kielland. Uh, so sorry.

- Hi. - Oh, it's you again.

- Sorry. Um... - Yeah?

- So... So that was a little basic and... - Unbearably basic.

- Providing all the numbers... - Yeah, I saw.

- Look, you want to play with the big boys? - Absolutely.

Little problem. I don't know you. Am I right?

- Right. - Why would I give you my money?

- Wait. I, uh... - Surely, you see that would be ridiculous.

No. Yes, of course. I, uh...

Watching PowerPoints in hell? Forget it.

The last time I was pitched, guess who walked through the door.

- Oh, uh... - Huh?

Kygo. The DJ.

He's there to have shots with us.

- You get it? - Ah.

That tickles the balls. Far-out experiences.

- Experiences. - Has to be something.

- Okay. - Not just air.

- No? - Then I know they won't mess with me.

And by not messing with me,

it means they're not messin' with my money.

- Get it, Herman? - Yeah. Sebastian.

Yeah, that's what I said. It's as easy as pie.

- Pie. - No messing around.

- Absolutely. - Farewell.

I have an experience!