Marvel's Spider-Man

Welcome to Superhero 101,

where the street is your classroom,

and books are replaced with on-the-job training.

That's good, because I'm a... hands-on kind of guy.

I'm terrible at quipping.

That quip would've worked better

if you actually used your hands.

Hands, see? Nailed it.

As if one Spider-Man in this town wasn't annoying enough!

You know what they say, two web heads are better than one.

You know your jokes are horrible, right?

Have you ever stopped a bad guy with comedy?

Not yet, but there's a first time for everything.

Like you, trying out those new web shooters you built.

Great idea. Take this, Scorpion.

Okay. The shooters work great. Your aim? Not so much.

I guess I got a few things to learn.

You probably did too when you first started out, right?

You mean three months ago? Yeah, I should think so.

I'm not exactly what you call a veteran.

Well, you're a great teacher. And besides,

I need a mentor who can spin webs and stick to walls.

So, that kind of narrows my options down to you. I'm... flattered?

Do you two ever stop talking?

Copy that. Moving into second position now.

- Hey, where does he think he's going? - Something's not right here.

You getting your spider tingle, jangle thing?

It's called "Spider-Sense." And no, it's just more of a gut thing.

Ugh. Spider gut? Thankfully, I didn't get that power.

What I mean is, Scorpion's more of

a "gloat about his evil plans" type of bad guy,

and he hasn't mentioned what he's up to.

We were in the middle of a conversation, and you ran off. So rude.

Joke all you want. My job is done here.

Over the years, I've roamed the jungles of the world,

stalking the most dangerous creatures alive.

- Huh? - Oh, man!

"Kraven's Amazing Hunt" is on. It's my favorite show.

But today I've come to the asphalt jungle

to hunt something different.

Hey! That's us! We're on TV!

The most dangerous prey of all,

the menace known as Spider-Man.

You might wanna pick a new favorite show.

Any last words, Spider-Man?

- Uh... - Eh? Two spider-men?

Thanks a lot. What? I'm not Spider-Man.

I'm a totally different guy.

Besides, these reality shows are all fake anyway.

Move!

Fake, huh? You really gotta work on that Spider-Sense of yours.

I told you not to call me when we're live.

Do you want both of them?

- My pleasure. - Tranquilizer darts?

So maybe he's not trying to kill us on live television.

He takes his prey home and does it there.

But it's all just a show for the cameras, right?

Something tells me this guy's more about the reality

and less about the show.

Gwen, look!

Spidey's on Kraven's Amazing Hunt.

- So is Miles! - What about Miles?

Uh, I was just saying, this... is Miles' favorite show.

Really?

I don't know if I approve of these types of shows.

I think they just dull your senses.

Scorpion must've been a setup. He was just bait.

Yep. And we took it hook, line, and stinger. We're still live on TV.

Then we better get out of here and come up with a plan

to deal Mr. Reality a reality check.

Do not fear, good viewers.

Kraven the Hunter always gets his target.

I can leap with the agility of a jaguar,

swing with the ease of an orangutan...

and strategize with the cleverness of a human.

To which terrain did the prey escape?

Uh, huh?

Which way did they go?

- Oh, uh, they went that way. - Much thanks.

Let's head down 5th Avenue.

I find the wind current there increases my swing speed.

Uh-oh. I forgot.

Kraven studies his prey's patterns and then sets traps based on their behavior.

He totally knows everything we're gonna do!

Wait! What?

You're saying he's booby-trapped all of New York City?

Yeah... Pretty cool, right?

Are you not the least bit concerned that someone is hunting us?

Sure. But he has to catch us first.

Only a matter of time, young spider.

Preferably 22 minutes, not counting commercials.

One thing's for sure:

I am never wearing my Kraven Fan Club shirt ever again!

Worth every penny.

- Adrian. - What is it?

My latest plan to capture the spider-men.

Since my Slayer wasn't able to retrieve either of these spider specimens,

I figured why not hire the world's greatest hunter.

Only instead of taking them back to his museum for mounting,

he'll deliver them to me for experimentation.

And he agreed to this willingly?

Kraven may be a hunter, but he's also a businessman,

and businessmen are always looking for financial backing.

Something I was happy to contribute to.

Look at them, the urban spider-humans

in their natural environment.

Amazing creatures.

But do not worry, loyal viewers.

My sonic blasts have taken down rhinos.

I don't think a couple of little spiders will be a problem.

Well, the good news is, this is some good hero

- practice for you. - Only you could find the bright side of this.

Huh?

I feel my Spider-Sense, but can't tell what direction it's coming from.

Watch out!

Miles!

Go on. Save your sidekick, Spider-Man.

I've already witnessed your analytical mind in action.

Show me how compassionate you are to the cluster.

A "cluster" is a group of spiders.

Something you learn when you're... cravin' knowledge.

Brought to you by the good people at Public Media.

Did he just call me a sidekick?

Hey, you say that again, and I'll blast that mustache into sideburns!

I don't know if this'll work,

but time to try an electro-blast on this thing.

Way to go! Miles?

- That was amazing! - I know.

I thought a group of spiders was called a "clutter."

No. I mean, what you did was amazing.

Plus you might've just figured a way to beat Kraven.

I did?

Yes. He's studied my patterns, but you're so new

to this whole superhero thing, you don't even have patterns yet.

So me being inexperienced is a good thing?

Right now it is.

So we both need to be unpredictable if we're going to beat Kraven.

- Where's someplace we never go? - A comedy club.

- I was thinking the sewer. - The sewer? Ugh!

Unless that's the name of the comedy club.

Follow me!

Nope. Nothing funny about being down here.

There's no way Kraven set any traps below ground,

- because I never use the sewers. - Brilliant.

- Unless... - Unless what?

On the show, Kraven also tries to predict

what backup plan his target might use.

Like, say... going underground?

Whoa! Spidey-Senses kicked in!

- But it's coming from all directions. - 'Cause the danger is too!

The hunt is over!

I have won.

But we expected that, didn't we?

No use in struggling, young spider.

That cage is made from electrified titanium alloy...

three times stronger than steel.

And made by Cages, Incorporated. Available at select hunting outlets.

And now, the branding iron.

Uh-oh. The branding ceremony.

It's the ultimate humiliation before being shipped to his museum.

Your knowledge of this show is getting annoying. Sorry.

I have defeated many jungle animals,

but today I am victor over a new breed of creature...

the human spider.

Let all who look upon them see that they were brought down by Kraven!

Hero lesson! If your supervillain turns his back to blab,

disengage his cage.

Nobody escapes Kraven!

- Oh, nice shot! - I'm a quick study.

Then here's a lesson in web crafting.

With a little branding of our own.

Aw, what's the matter, Kravey buddy?

- This episode not sticking to the script? - Ciao.