Stardust

Never mind.

All I did was look in the man's face

when he was shot there and saw that expression on his face and grabbed...

I'm positive that it hit him. I hope it didn't, but I'm positive that it hit him.

And he went all the way down in the car.

Then they speeded up and I didn't know what was going on,

so I just grabbed the boy and fell on him and hoped, sir, there wasn't a manic around.

I can't help you more but I... I won't forget.

Yeah.

It's all right, sir.

You're looking older.

Bad news, innit?

What, you turning up or Kennedy getting killed?

It's been a bit quiet round here tonight.

I thought there must be something good on the telly.

Yeah, we were supposed to be playing at a dance,

but all the girls started crying and everybody was sent home.

Playing?

I'm in a group.

Well, it's better than living in that grotty caravan with woodworm in your socks.

Caravan's all right.

It's my pension.

What do you mean?

I rent it out as a knocking shop.

Mike, wanna join us?

We need a road manager.

I've got a good job 'ere.

Yeah, but you'll never make a million, never get rich.

No.

I'm not smart, like you.

You'd like the life - all the money, the birds.

Like tonight, eh?

Where'd you get your limp?

I fell out with bad company.

Look, come and meet the boys! You've got nothing to lose.

Who's this?

Mike Menary, Johnny Cameron.

Hello, Michael Menary.

We've got a lunchtime gig.

Come and see us.

We'll take a hundred for that old van.

We'll give you another two for this. That's 300 in all and I won't say a word.

- You with that lot? - Yeah.

And where do you think you're gonna find 200 quid, eh?

- You got a point there, Ralph. - Yeah.

Let's say we use my caravan as collateral.

Well, until I get enough money together for the HP.

Your caravan ain't worth 200.

It is to me.

Parked here, it would be to you.

I want that van, Ralph.

How's Betty and the kids?

- Are you leaning on me? - Yeah.

Well, you had a good time in my caravan, didn't ya?

- Yeah. - 300 then.

Dead caravans don't talk.

Oi.

Just remember, I bartered my bloody home for you.

Come on, Jim, give us a hand.

I can't afford to pay you if you didn't play the whole night.

Listen, it wasn't our fault that we didn't play. We didn't shoot him.

Look, Mr Nolan, we played for a complete hour.

Right.

Look, fellas, I know it's unfortunate.

- But we have a contract. - Exactly.

We have a contract and we played one hour, therefore you have to pay us.

I had to give everyone their money back.

I don't care whose money you had to give back. How about giving us some money, huh?

- What kind of a guy are you, anyway? - Come on then, layabouts, get on stage.

- Just hang on a second. - Get on stage, will you?

This guy won't pay us, man!

- Three-chord wonders, eh? - Look, I have an audience waiting.

My God! A right little band of barrack-room lawyers.

- I'm sorry about this. - One, two, three, four!

It's always difficult getting a new business on its feet.

You fancy a drink?

Mmm.

Well, this is not worth the paper it's written on, Keith.

- All right, guv. - I'll get 'em.

- I understand your problem, Keith, honestly. - Excuse me, please.

But you know what the boys are like. They can be very awkward.

Especially when they've got right on their side.

I'll tell you what, I'll put it to 'em.

Thank you. We'd like to carry on with, uh...

something of our own this time. It's...

It's a number that Stevie and I wrote.

Hope you like it. It's called "Make Me Good".

One, two, three, uh...

It's a pleasure doing business with a straight bloke like you, Keith.

I tell you what, the boys won't forget your generosity.

Is this it?

That's all the mean bugger thinks your worth.

You coming?

Not you, you silly sod.

Come on, get a move on.

Right, us two in here.

You two in there.

Stevie, you'll be all right on the floor. JD, lend him your sleeping bag.

Well, come on, lads! I'd do the same for you, you know that.

Right.

What's the idea?

You don't want to sleep three in a bed in a boarding house, do you?

Your mate Johnny going in and out like a fiddler's elbow all night.

You know, with... with a bit of luck,

I really think we're gonna make it big.

All we need is the right breaks.

What would you do if you made it big?

Buy myself an orchard.

A what?

An orchard of pudenda trees.

Or are they bushes?

Let's have a look.

Cor, look at the state of that.

You're in, ain't you?

What happened with the, uh...

Nolan? No trouble.

See, that's what we want. We want somebody with a bit of muscle power.

A bit of know-how.

All right.

But if it's gonna be me, it's gotta be me.

Anything.

Okay.

Mike, what did you think of the group?

Well, you're never gonna be Buddy Holly, but you were good tonight.

But I'll tell you one thing.

- You're never gonna make it with that loser. - What loser?

That Knee-Tremble Johnny.

You're never even gonna be part-time as long as he's playing at Troy Donahue.

I tell you.

But the rest of the boys, they're all right.

Yeah, right.

But he wants to put the world in his jockstrap.

It's no good.

He's an old-fashioned loser. Honest. I can see it in his eyes.

Yes, another minute on four to go.

Good that. Good article, that one.

Oh, can I help you, madam?

Now, come on, think seriously about it, eh?

I mean, you can't spend the rest of your life opening one laundrette after another.

Listen.

What happens to you if the bubble bursts on the washing-machine business?

- That's a funny line that, innit? "Bubble burst". - Number eight.

Oh, sorry, madam. Yes.

Look, Ron, I've never put you wrong yet, have I, eh?

I mean, this is the perfect proposition to you. There's no capital involved.

All we need is your business acumen.

Well, it won't cost you anything, will it, to let the boys use your place

for rehearsals now and again?

Well, of course, it's true that every serious businessman knows you have to diversify.

Oh, number nine, love? Yes, number nine's ready.

I mean, it's true that life's been good to me

and it might be an idea to put some of it back, as it were, by encouraging talent.

Yeah, right. That's absolutely right that is.

No, Mike, I'm not altogether convinced. I mean, I do value my privacy.

All right, now stop there.

Because if there is one thing that I can assure you of, Ronald, it is your privacy.

I mean, you won't even know they're there.

Catch!

- Six! - Six!

A six!

Six for a certificate and four for a picture of Her Gracious Majesty, our lovely Queen.

- Whoo! - My friend...

Would you piss off, Clover?

A...

- D. - Great gonzos!

Laundrette Lil! Quick, backs to the wall!

Bloody hell! Jim...

D-A, D-A...

They've landed, they've landed, they've landed!

Bloody state of this place.

- Like a teddy bears' picnic. - Are you trying to be funny?

Not really.

All right, listen, will you? Listen. Ronald's got something he wants to say to you.

Oh, no. No, it's nothing yet, Mike.

No, no, boys, no.

No, no.

Well...