Snatchers

So, meiosis is the process by which

a cell divides and splits up the number of chromosomes.

Now, this is different than mitosis, remember,

it'll form what are called "gametes."

All right, does this make sense to everybody?

All right, now each gamete contains 50%...

We're just gonna, like, wreck your house.

It's gonna be so rad.

Who's even coming?

Yeah, is it gonna be, like, super exclusive? What's the deal?

It's a back-to-school party, you dumb beezees. Everyone's coming.

Sara can even bring her D&D BFF, for all I care.

We're not even friends anymore.

And we didn't play D&D , it was Magic...

Uh, yes, Hayley?

Amoebas and stuff can split into two, right?

- Like, asexually? - That's right.

So, if that works, then why is sexual reproduction even a thing?

Uh, 'cause it's super fun.

Actually, that's a terrific question.

- What a Margaret. - Shyeah.

Hey, did you get 151? I'm trying to get real faded.

- Oh, me, too. - Me, too.

I'm going to get maybe even, like, double-faded.

Ooh, cold.

So, did you live at the hotel pool?

Huh?

You're just super tan.

From Mexico?

Oh.

- I guess. - It looks really good.

I'm not trying to roast you or anything.

Hey, did you write down the bio reading? I...

Sara. We're on different paths now, okay?

Okay.

So, can we just let that be?

You know, I'm moving forward.

No, yeah, I get it.

You want to focus on lacrosse and college.

Sure. Yeah. Uh, there's that.

I thought the sex thing wasn't a big deal?

Yeah, well, I've changed a lot this summer.

All right? My priorities are...

different, okay?

Hey, Sara.

It's pages 24 through 43. Skip the lab questions on 30.

- Hey, Skyler! - What's up, Skyler?

Hey, Sear-bear, I'm headed to class. You do your homework?

Did you do yours?

Zing!

Seriously, you do it yet?

That's what I'm talking about.

Ten thousand hours, baby, then you're gonna be a big-time CEO.

That's not even a real thing.

Are you wearing makeup?

No, I just moisturized.

It's called making an effort.

Okay.

Everything peachy in your world, baby?

Yup. Can you close the door, please?

All right. I'll get out of your hair. Be good.

Hey.

Hey.

I thought we could...

talk?

Huh?

Do you have a condom?

Just pull out.

I will.

Ow!

Ow!

Aah!

Ow! Ow!

Ow! Ow! Ow!

Ouch! Ow!

Oh!

Felt so good.

Yeah. Amazing.

Did you pull out?

It's okay.

It's okay.

I'm sure it's...

Jesus!

I just came to see if everything was okay. Shit.

So...

is everything okay?

Yeah. Thanks.

Tegan's thigh gap is so much better than mine.

Pouty face.

Oh, my God, Ki, yours is amaze. And mine's only because of gymnastics.

God, I should join.

That's cray. It's, like, a really big commitment.

But I love it. Plus, my mom won't let me quit, so, who cares?

My thigh gap is such garbage...

Feeling better?

Mmm-hmm, I'm fine.

My favorite part was right before, when you were like,

"Oh, I love my boyfriend."

And then you totally barfed all over him.

Why are you so obsessed with me?

I'm... I'm not.

I'm just telling everybody the story because it's a super funny story.

Yeah, you're, like, the funniest one of our friends, Kiana.

Hey, Sara, uh, is everything cool?

Talk about mood swings. What are you, like, pregnant?

That'd be hilarious.

What are you guys doing this weekend?

Shopping, obviously.

Oh, thank Christ.

Sara! Welcome to the land of the living.

Sara!

W-T-Fuck!

W-T-Fuck!

I'm coming in. Hide your shame.

Okay.

Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!

- Hey! - Hey, you.

I was just thinking about you.

I called you a bunch last night.

Yeah, I wasn't feeling awesome.

So, how are you feeling?

Uh, I'm okay.

Actually, now that you mentioned it...

I have been feeling really...

horny.

Wanna come over?

I'd love to, but I'm stuck with my mom all day. So lame.

I'll see you later. Kisses. Bye!

Hey, we're still going to Kiana's together, though, right?

- Hey, bitch. - Kiana, hey.

Oh, my God, shut up for a second. Did you hear?

Amy P got schwasted and hooked up with Joey C.

They did it in his Scion, so grody.

That's all DL, by the way. Amy's supes embarrassed about it

and made me promise not to tell anyone.

Also, she pegged him. So, what's up?

- So, why are you here? - Uh...

Hello?

Okay, I'm just trying to, like...

Like, where's Kiana? Aren't you guys, like, besties now?

I mean, I just thought you would help me, or whatever.

What?

Nothing. You just...

kind of totally ghosted me sophomore year.

What? I've seen you.

Whatever. Never mind.

Hayley, I'm really freaking here.

Sorry, it's just a lot to take in.

Shyeah.

It doesn't make sense. I saw you yesterday.

Puking my guts out. Morning sickness much?

Whatever's happening here is...

Completely batshit!

...gynecological.

You need to go to a hospital.

Hmm, veto. They'll call my mom.

Are you serious?

This is triage, Hayley.

Priority one, is keeping this quiet.

Priority two, is my health and general overall well-being.

Okay. So, you want a place that's confidential,

maybe knows a way around a freaky surprise pregnancy,

and hey, hopefully doesn't cost anything either, because why not?

We're all human beings in God's eyes!

It's not too late to turn around.

There is still time for forgiveness.

Don't make a decision you'll regret for the rest of your life!

Forgive this harlot, Lord, she knows not what she does.

Jesus loves you!

Bitch!

I guess those opium orgies really paid off, huh?

Okay, I told you it was my first time, so, stop slut-shaming me.

And sex is, like, a totally natural, healthy part of life, anyway.

Where is Skyler, anyway?

- You should call him... - Don't!

It's not Skyler.

That's the whole reason we broke up in the first place.

I wanted to wait.

Oh, that's probably good.

Skyler was always kind of a sleaze, anyway.

And cocky, and a douche.

Oh, my God, was it Joey C?

Is...

Hayley, it doesn't matter. Would you just lay off, please?

I just don't understand why you dragged me into this, instead of...

Mark?

I'm gonna get back to this questionnaire because it's slightly less invasive.

So, how far along are you?

A day.

And I know that sounds, like, super cray.

Sara, you didn't just go to sleep last night,

and wake up nine months pregnant.

It's pretty cray.

I'm so effed.

No. I'm sure Zack will still support you.

Not having this convo again.

Okay. I'm just, I'm just confused.

You know, I thought you wanted to wait for this sort of thing.

Isn't that the whole reason why you broke up with that man slut?

Skyler's not a man slut.