Spaceman

Hope you enjoy the show

man over comms: Jakub. Are you joining this broadcast?

We need to patch you in.

Hang on.

Come on.

Jakub: Peter.

Peter over speakers: Patching you in now.

On behalf of the Euro Space Program and the Czech people,

189 days into your solo journey,

welcome back, Commander Procházka.

Commissioner Tuma. Hello from the outskirts of Jupiter.

I'm very excited to be talking to you from here.

It's so great to see you again. You look well.

It seems like the long wait is coming to an end.

Yes, that is correct.

The reason for this journey is right in front of me.

I'm sure the images I've sent back doesn't do it justice.

But the Chopra Cloud is more astonishing than what you could ever imagine.

I wish you could all see it the way I do.

Tuma: This phenomenon has haunted our skies for the past four years,

and now your images have captivated the world.

Truly spectacular.

Well, in less than a week,

I will collect and analyze the particles that make up the cloud.

We still don't know what they are or where they come from.

But as I enter the Chopra Cloud,

I might just unravel some mysteries of the universe.

Commander, would you mind taking a few questions

from the people of the world?

I'll do my best.

girl: Hello, my name is Anna.

I'm in sixth grade.

And I read that you're the loneliest man in the world.

I think what Anna here is saying is that the commander

is the farthest away from anyone in history.

Is that what you mean?

Does it make you sad to be so far away?

Well, I am some 500 million kilometers away.

And yes, this is a solo mission, but I know I'll be coming back soon.

I'm nearing the halfway mark for my scheduled return to Earth,

and I have so much work to do.

And I get to talk to people from all over the world

like you and Mission Control.

And your wife, Lenka, of course.

She and I can talk over the CzechConnect Quantum

faster than the Speed of Light Phone,

which keeps us connected.

We talk every day.

What I'm doing is for everyone back home, and that makes me very proud.

No, I'm not the loneliest man in the world.

Thank you, Anna.

And thank you, Commander.

We're going to take a short break here,

and we'll be back after a word from our generous sponsors.

narrator: Non-drowsy Antiquease,

the official nausea medication of the Jakub Procházka Mission to Chopra.

Lenka: You'll be all right, Jakub.

You're not afraid to be on your own.

I was afraid,

but I'm not anymore.

I love you.

But people change.

And if you don't let them change, they die.

I have to leave you.

I'm so sorry it has to be now, but...

man: Yes?

Lenka problem.

Peter, would you be so kind to approve another repair to the toilet?

Let me see if I can get engineering to clear that.

Did you replace the O-rings like we suggested?

Yes, I did.

And it's still screaming.

Maybe you and I can troubleshoot it later.

But the orders are that the broken cameras take priority over the toilet, so...

When did you take your sleep drops last night?

8:30. Why?

You don't look so good. Did you sleep?

I tried.

But just maybe I look like shit

because the toilet keeps fucking up my nights.

Peter: Okay, I hear you.

But try to find time for a nap. You need rest.

Jakub: Have you guys heard from Lenka?

No. Why?

Lenka over laptop: I know you can feel the silence.

Oh my, oh my.

Lenka: We're both on the CzechConnect and...

there's just silence.

So what's the point?

He is under tremendous pressure. He isn't sleeping.

He's not getting this message.

We're holding it back? - Tuma: Hm.

He's already concerned he hasn't heard from her.

He's not getting this message.

I'll go talk to her.

I'll think of something to tell him.

automated voice: Lenka is not answering. If you'd like to leave a message...

CzechConnect keeps you connected.

Oh...

Ah!

What?

Peter: You are clear

for the Chopra Sample Collection Simulation.

Confirming scenario beta 3-3.

Jakub: Sample collection simulation confirmed.

Peter, are you reading?

Peter: Still no Camera D?

Yes. Electrical fine. Camera dead. Same story.

Peter: That's half the ship's cameras malfunctioning.

I don't understand what's happening.

I'll file another report.

I'm sure that'll be very effective.

Jakub: Can someone go to my home?

Peter: Why?

Jakub: Still haven't heard from her.

Peter: Okay, we'll find her. Don't worry.

automated voice: Lenka is not answering. If you'd like to leave a message...

Lenka?

Hello?

man over CzechConnect: Hello.

Who is this?

Who do I have here?

man: Can I help you?

Who the hell is this?

Hello?

man: My apologies.

Peter, are you on?

Peter: Yes.

I'm getting interference.

Peter: That's very strange.

Could someone have hacked the CzechConnect?

Peter: Mmm, not likely. Our system is secure.

If there's interference, it's over the radio, but...

Was it Korean?

Jakub: Why would it be Korean?

Peter sighs: There are indications the South Koreans are closing in.

It's not Korean.

Someone probably just left the channel open here.

And what do you suggest?

Peter sighs: I'll look into it.

You doing okay? Is everything all right?

Yes, Peter, everything is very good.

Peter: So listen, we've just learned

that Lenka's on her way to visit her mother.

She'll be back in a couple of days.

Jakub: Yeah? Get her to call me.

What the fuck?

Control, do you have a secret camera in the head?

Peter: Why? - You do?

Peter: Yeah. Well, it's a safety issue.

Pull it up right now.

Peter: But it's out. It was one of the first ones to go out.

You gotta be kidding me.

Peter: Jakub, what's going on? Hello?

Jakub, why aren't you responding?

Spider: I was lulled by the meditative sounds of your tube.

I did not intend to frighten you, skinny human.

Peter: Jakub, what's going on? - Spider: Do not be afraid.

Peter: Hello?

Jakub: I'm losing my mind.

Peter: Why are you in the airlock?

Jakub: We have to decontaminate the ship!

Peter: What? Why?

As a precaution. In case we have any onboard contaminants.

Peter: Well, we're not seeing anything on our sensors down here.

Jakub: I have been getting some very strange readings,

and I need to be certain before the critical stage of the mission.

I'm suiting up.

All right, you're the commander.

Give me a minute to clear this.

Jakub: Peter, I need word.

I... ...just got a reluctant confirmation.

I'm hearing from corporate sponsorships

that they want you to say the slogan first.

Jakub: What?

Peter: Before you deploy the decontaminant.

The Bomba slogan.

Two, three...

Bomba is 99.999% effective

in killing any and all airborne microbial elements.

Even in space, don't let germs ruin your day.

Bomba, away!

All right. Very good. Clear to go.

Lenka: You go where I go,

and I go where you go.

Right, Spaceman?

Peter: Jakub?

What?

Peter: Are you okay?

What's going on?

Jakub: Something's not right.

Peter: What's not right?

Jakub?

Jakub: I'm fine.

I need to talk to Lenka.

Peter: You need to talk to me.

I know, I know.

Peter: Your well-being is my responsibility.

You need to be transparent with me.

I know, and I am.